Angered crowd work

So I've been a little slow on the blog updates as I've had to work the last few days. Sunday I had two shows. Got on the alternates list at the Comedy Store. I sent a text to the dude I took over OBC for that works at the store to hook me up. He got me up. Turned out I didn't need his help as a bunch of people didn't show up. I did a character on stage, and did ok. The crowd was kinda rough for a Comedy Store crowd. I did ok, but felt it could have been better. Two of the people I promoted that show with last week went up last and 2nd to last. I noticed both of them got extra time. I was pretty pissed. I found it weird, and thought I got screwed. I would have done an actual set if I got more time but whatever. I got a text later that night telling me the host gave them extra time cause they needed to fill it. Whatever.

Next up went to Blarney. It was a weird show. One comic brought a group of people. They were wasted and annoying. I got into it with one of the gals about her fake breasts and low self esteem. Her friend butted in and made fun of my act and looks. I started getting mean, and hate doing that. I wasn't mad, sad, or bothered but acted like it. I still couldn't think of anything that funny. I was a little bummed I didn't do well. I should have just told jokes. One of the more experienced comics, who normally always does crowd work, did his jokes and did well. I've had convo's with more experienced comics and they always say just do the set. I don't always agree with that, but I should have been smart enough to try to tell jokes.

Last night I was a judge at the comedy competition at the Palace. It was interesting as there was a decent amount of people in the crowd but they weren't really that receptive. There was only 5 total comics with 4 advancing. Adds a little pressure/ stress to me as my fault means a little more. Anyways, the comics went up and everyone did subpar. I went up not really sure what I was going to do. I spoke to the crowd, called a lady a dude, and rolled from there. I did some crowd work, and tried to transition to jokes without much luck. I chatted it up with a gal, it got somewhat sexual for a bit. She spoke to me after the show, asking if the sexual stuff was going to happen. Kinda weird.

Busy Winston's show

So we had upwards of 45 total comics on the bill for Friday. 10 were on the lightning round, 5 or so that didn't show up. A couple people on the regular list didn't show. There were a few people that I told to show up by 555 that were late. Luckily, we were ahead of schedule at the time so I put them up. Well turned out we i should have just skipped them I didn't end up having time to go up. A few people towards the end ran the light, and the lightning round went on way too long.

It's never easy for me to say no. I don't like having to bump people but I clearly state the people have to be there by 555 to get on. I realize the people that were late were due so because of work but they can still give me a heads up. One of the open mic guys brought a lot of people, and I believe the headliners each brought a decent amount of people. There was probably with comics and crowd nearly 100 people there. The problem when the numbers get so high is that the audience chatter gets louder and makes the comics work even harder. This type of crowd is made for high energy comics, with little to no thought put towards their jokes.

There was little controversy or drama to the show other than some people running the light, and a couple people just standing up there speaking nonsense. I really don't understand why some people do comedy. I realize it can be a hobby, but really are they a fan or torturing themselves and others. I chatted with one comic on the phone about the rivarly between female comics. I am friends with a lot of female comics and it seems like all of the have something to say about one another. I guess at the end of the day they are still females and they love gossip. Also, since there is a smaller amount of female comics there's usually only one, maybe two on each show. Also, due to numbers, it's easier to be labeled the best female San Diego comic, than the best male. I've spoke a lot previously who I thought was one of the best female comics. But sadly in the year I've seen her I don't think she's come up with any new jokes. She performs very rarely, and as I've spoke to her before she has become tired of her jokes and it can be seen in her delivery.

There was a comic that asked who people thought were the 5 best Sd comics. A few random people named me which is kind of cool to get the recognition. It seemed for the most part people named other comics they started with or who they've become friends with. Not really sure why he'd even post something like that other than to try to create drama, but more power to him. He also asked who people thought were the 5 worst, and for the most part just got silly answers. Anyone who would truthfully answered that clearly could care less about anything.

Compliments are awkward

So I did pretty well last night. Started off kinda awkward but crawled out nicely. Did a mixture of old and new jokes and was happy overall. It was one of the few sets where I wish I had more time. I did a slight amount of crowd work, but mostly jokes. The crowd was slightly older than I'm used to, but they were very receptive.

I got a lot of compliments from audience members and other comics. It's always weird when this happens. I feel I should say you too. But then it comes off like I'm just saying it cause they said it. But if I don't I feel like a dick. With the audience members I always try to say something to the tune of, "Good job laughing, or you were a great audience member." Goofy or whatnot. With comics, I usually just say thank you. Sometimes I'll mention if they did a new joke or whatnot. Last night one of the nicer comedy store regulars said I did well. He had to follow one of the better San Diego comics, who always does really well. After he complimented me, I said something to the tune of he had a tough time having to follow her. I hope he didn't take it the wrong way. I'm so bad at being serious and nice. For the most part I could care less if people think I'm a dick, but I'd hope to think nice/genuine people think I'm a good guy.

So although I'm happy with the jokes, I'm really disappointed with my promoting. I had 4 people show up. That's really terrible. I feel bad, as if we got a certain amount of people show up we'd get another spot on a later show. I could care less, but the gal I did the show with was looking forward to it. She brought the majority of the audience and deserved a better promoter to help her out. I'm not sure if I want to promote shows anymore. I don't have any scheduled next month, and I went turn it down but it's really frustrating to have no one show up. I took the job at Home Depot to help bring people to shows. And not one frigin person came. It's so rediculous. WTF is so important you can't see one show. My roommate I've been living with for 6 months finally came to a show last night. I could understand people not coming if I was bad or always did the same jokes. But I always mix it up and don't invite people to crappy shows.

Here's a video from a show I did awhile back. I felt I did better than the video shows, oh well.

Louie speaks to the comedy mind

While I try to use the blog to paint a picture of the mindset and inside of a comic, the show Louie brings it into light. Just watched the season finale. And while the show is somewhat funny it dives into a lot of the little things about comedy. One being that many are single and trapped in their own heads. While I seem to be able to get a lot of women, keeping them is a very different story. It has as much to do with seeking perfection as it does to do with the constant need to feel wanted. I have always needed that extra need to feel important. That is one of the main reasons my last relationship failed so miserably. I never truly felt she loved me, and the way it ended she probably never really did. With the last gal, everything was great when we were together but not once did she contact me first after the 2nd week or so. Then I get a call from her after a week asking me to set her up with one of my friends. I kind of gave her a hassle about it, and led to the end of that. She called me sensitive a few times, and while I am, no need to be a dick about it. The fact that so many women just want you to ignore them and make them feel unimportant is so strange to me. I do somewhat get it, as one of the main reasons I continuously said we were done is because I never felt she even liked me. So the constant, trying to impress her, and feel wanted was the "game." And that's what the ladies want.

Ok tangent over. Anyways back to comedy and Louie. There was a scene where Louie tries to go out with a few other comics to a nightclub. He was awkward and out of place. It's so crazy how I used to enjoy nightclubs, dancing, and just having fun with friends. Now I don't know what I enjoy about life. Even though I end up telling jokes somewhere most nights of the week, I can't say it's a barrel of joy. Comedy sucks the joy out of so many things in life. Although I'm trying to have fun, I constantly tired and just can't find fun in life anymore. The roller coaster that is comedy drains you. SOme nights you're funny, others you're not. I'm just on a constant cycle of trying to impress people. At times I wish, I could be one of those lunatic comics who thinks they're hilarious. Would make life so much easier. But instead I'm stuck miserable when I do bad, and feel nothing when I do well. For a business with laughter being the payment for the most part, it's a depressing business.

Well the jokes. I did a short set at the Comedy Store first. I had a monster energy as I was on 3 hours of sleep, and tried to take a nap but that didn't last long. I opened up chatting with the crowd a little bit, and tried a new joke. It went really well which I was happy about. I felt I was doing really well, and think I opened up the room for the comics that followed. There was maybe 8-12 people there when I went up but felt good. The manager was there and I noticed he popped in to watch one of the up and coming comics. I think the dude is funny, and is a lot like me as he's not into playing the politics. Just wants to tell his jokes, and get back to life. He's married so he has that to balance life. Anyways, while I was on stage, I could see the manager still in the back, wanting him to come in and watch me. He popped in for the comic after me as well. It could have just been by chance, but it would be weird if he came in only for 2 of the best open mic comics. I kind hung around, walking by him a few times, hoping maybe he's say something to me. Nope, maybe I should have said something to him, who knows.

Next up I went to the Blarney. It was pretty dead, until about 10 or so of my co workers showed up. You'd think it would be good, but many of them have never seen me before, so there was added pressure. I rarely stress, and to be honest I probably didn't care but if I said I didn't want to be funny I'd be lying. I started off with a little chatting with the crowd, tried a couple jokes, and had a little comedy banter with a chargers fan. I was quite happy overall. One of my strengths in comedy is ending on a high note. I never know how long I do at Blarney, but once I feel I hit a max laugh I end it. Had some audience members say I did well, but no one from work. They were all somewhat friends, but a lot of them feel they are a little too cool to come to a comedy show. They came cause we had a meeting at work across the street til ten and they swung by for some beers. Well see how the response will be from them in the next couple days.

I can see your oxygen tank maam

So I did a charity show at the Chula Vista Elk's Lodge the other night. I wasn't sure how the turn out was going to be but figured the crowd would be a little older. Well they were older. Right off the the bat I got heckled by a 60 plus year old and it was on from there. There was 70 plus year olds in the front row, one lady with an oxygen tank. What's weird about this is that the night before I had a dream that I was performing at Winston's and there was 4 older people in the front. I told a joke that sent one older dude to the ground clutching his heart. He ended up just faking it. It really bothered me in the dream and this was surely going through my head on stage. I basically just talked to the crowd and made random jokes. SOme worked others not so much. The show started a little later than I had hoped and I didn't make it in time to do a set at Winston's. I could have but I didn't have anything new and didn't feel like rushing down and getting on stage.

I did get there in time to watch the headliner I booked from L.A. and his feature. The feature was funny. Had typical I'm black jokes, but his had a little extra that was somewhat ok. He talked to me after about recently being booked for the stand up for diversity with another L.A. I've heard of but never performed with. He was asking to be booked at Winston's with the guy. I told him I usually stay away from L.A. people as we are a bar and have little walk in traffic. I told him to hit me up on facebook and we could work something out. As of now he hasn't, maybe he saw the money we pay and realized it's probably not worth his time. Like I told him, there's a lot of funny people, but even though you may be big, you're still not big enough to bring in people.

The headliner was very funny. He did some out there, funny characters, and lines. I really enjoyed it, but it's one of those things where it takes some thought and it's rare you see people like that make it. It's weird as his feature was the opposite, no much thought, so they balance each other off nicely. Anyways, he talked to me after and invited me up to do his Improv show at the end of next month. That was a nice gesture, and not really expected. It's good to see there are still some good people out there, that appreciate a favor.

Last night I got a call from one of my comic buds seeing if I wanted to get on the 11 o'clock show. I was planning to go to a house party but felt it too be dumb to turn down stage time. He wasn't sure I'd get on, but invited me down. I ended up not getting on, as a lot of the comics stuck around, I imagine after seeing there was a decent amount of people there. I didn't really mind, little bummed cause I had some people down from L.A. that were there, but I wasn't in the mood to stick around all night. I actually appreciated the fact he even called more than actually getting on stage. This was an intance where my lack of politics affected me. I'm standing around waiting to find out if I have a spot, while one of the regulars is writing out the list. I've never spoke to him, nor do I have an interest to. My buddy rolls in after the list is made and the show has started, and the booker asks him if he wants to get on.

I do a lot for my friends of comedy and people starting up. If anyone asks me for advice I send them all the open mics around town. When I get booked on certain random shows I usually ask to put a friend or two on. Well there's one friend that I think has used me for enough shows. He doesn't realize it, so I'm not mad nor will it affect the friendship. But he gets on a lot of random shows and not once has put me on. His excuse, "Well it's not my show." I've put him on enough, to at least mention my name. I'm not going to continue to hook him up if I'm not feeling anything in return. I don't do a lot of things to get anything back. I get nothing from telling another open mic er where all the spots are who can in turn take my spot. I also don't give time to get time. But it is a business, I can't feel like I'm not getting anything in return, ever. Sad part is, he's so clueless, he doesn't realize it. I do get my fair share of shows, but more is always better. To be honest, I don't really care about getting on stage, I just want to feel like I can.

Bombing humbles you

So I had a bombish set last night. I did it to myself. I thought it was a good idea to open up with acting out the time the host brought me up right after he flipped out on stage. Like the time he did it, it was just awkward. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea. After that I struggled to deliver material, but it wasn't easy. Also, there was a group talking in the front row. Normally I would have engaged them but I wasn't at the show, so I have no clue if the host already spoke with them and didn't want to repeat things. I struggled through. I said some jokes I know were keepers and didn't get much response. Just goes back to show how important a good start and being likable is. After I finished my set, I walked out the door and left. Half because I was disappointed with myself, and half because I wanted to check out my buddies show downtown.

It was an interesting show. The evening offers comedy and all you can eat crab. There was probably 25-30 people in the "crowd." It was probably one of the tougher spots I've seen as it's really spread out, and some of the tables arn't even facing the stage. There was one dude on that I had scene doing my joke before. I mean I'm not ne to say jokes haven't been done before, but he uses two of my tags basically word for word. It's not a groundbreaking joke, and like a lot of my stuff I don't do it often, but it's very similar. The host did about 20 minutes before bringing my buddy up. He basically bantered with one of the douchey tables for a real long time. Probably too long, as it made it difficult for the headliner to do time. But my buddy, like a champ went for 30 minutes of struggling through getting occasional laughs and chuckles. I'm not sure I could do it. I did 20 minutes at Winston's with that rough crowd but had someone on stage as a blanket.

Well that was fun

So I was a judge at the Palace last night, and there was literally 7 audience members. Not like "hey there's 7 people here," I counted only 7. I mean they were respectful enough to listen but laughter was sparce. There was only 5 comics on, with 4 advancing. One brought 3 people, the other brought 4. I really don't understand why they stretched it so thin. In the last competition every show was good. There was also 10 people in each round. I'm not going to harp on it, as I spoke about it before, but in addition to being a tough show for everyone involved there's added akward pressure on the judges. When there's a big crowd, judge's vote is important, but it's not going to hold the giant weight on our decision. The person that doesn't advance knows we didn't votee for them in the top 2. And whether it happens or not, this person may hold a grudge and not book us a show again. Goes back to the dreaded politics. The dude that didn't advance is pretty nice, so let's hope there's no hard feelings.

My set went as good as it could I guess. I didn't tell jokes as expected, and didn't really do much of anything to be honest. I was a little buzzed, so this may have helped create the character. I didn't plan anything, just got on stage, adjusted the stool a few times, moved the mic stand up and down. Took my shirt off, put it back on, removed my shoes, then basically just chatted with the few people that were there. I had the comics laughing, and the few people in the crowd laughed on occasion. I enjoy doing whacky characters nad trying out different things to mess with the tension and audience. It keeps things fresh and new.

3 shows in the books

Had a busy weekend of shows. Saturday did a show at a biker bar on the outskirts of SD. I was somewhat looking forward to it, but wasn't expecting too much of a show. There was probably 40 or so people there, all older median age 45ish. There was a 70 plus year old dude, wasted, seemed he was the bar drunk and was celebrating his birthday. My buddy took the stage first and the dude walks up and grabs the mic. He starts mumbling nonsense, which the crowd could barely hear. My buddy starting dancing, but at that point the crowd was kinda lost. He tried doing jokes but it was all over at that point. While I was sitting down, one of the more established comics said, "I'm going to punch (insert name) when he gets off stage." He was serious, like not actually going to punch him, but was pissed he gave the mic to the dude.

Once my bud got off stage the other dude approached and told him to never give up the mic. While I agree he probably shouldn't have given him the mic, at the venue we were at and the fact it was the dude's birthday and everyone knew him there's really no reason it should matter. My buddy was like I don't care, and it got a little awkward as I was sitting right there. Finally they basically agreed to disagree. Some comics take things way too seriously. Like I agree every show is important, but to stress over a show with so little to come out of it is so strange to me. Like a dude that was complaining about letting the mic get taken is a regular at the 2 biggish clubs in San Diego, were at a dive bar in the middle of nowhere, what does it matter. Another dude that gets prime spots at the Comedy Store was stressing and rehearsing before he did his set. Maybe I need to take things a little more seriously, but until there's an agent or something could possibly come from my set I'm just going to try to have fun.

Another awkward part of the show was that he paid us, what I thought was all of us $20. He even gave a dude that just showed up and is totally insane $20. Well I make a joke about only getting $5 or something and everyone mentioned they got $20. Well when I get in the car the person I rode with was like "I can't believe they gave so and so 20$ and I only got $10." Well it turns out the booker gave everyone but the one female comic $20. The dudes kinda a drunk so I'm thinking it was a mistake, but if it wasn't that is kinda of messed up. I want to ask him, but I figure the gal would prefer I didn't.

Next I had a few open mics last night. First was the Comedy Store. I'm not sure if I'm making headway, but I have been put up last on the open mic 3 of the last 4 weeks. I told my buddy that I thought I making headway. He said 3 months ago him and my other buddy were told they were going to be passed and it hasn't happened yet. So guess wishful thinking goes out the window. I have a feeling if I do get passed to one of San Diego's best they may ask me to stop doing OBC as they did with the last guy that ran the show. I hope that it doesn't happen, as at this point I would have to decline. Winston's isn't the best stage time but I enjoy the challenge week in and week out, plus it's nice to be able to control the show and make a few bucks every week.

My set there went decent. I tried a new joke I wrote that day, and although I flubbed it up a bit I was happy with the outcome. The joke started as something else that I tought of in the middle of the night. But as I was writing it this whole new idea came out. When I don't drink I don't sleep and plenty of ideas come to mind. The whole drinking curb is still in affect. Taking steps to get my mind right. My main concern is with losing my memory. If I ever make it in comedy, I'll need to be doing 30 minutes, an hour, sometimes even longer. With as little times as I do my jokes, I'm going to need to be able to memorize that much stuff.

Next up was Blarney Stone. It was a pretty small crowd, mostly just comics. I got up there and there was a regular that was ready to heckle. Yelling out people arn't funny, blah blah. I messed with him a bit, but I more or less had to be mean, and that's really no fun. He's a regular at the bar so he had an advantage over me. I talked to him a bit, then got off stage. I hung out for a couple minutes after and headed home.

Ahh the blog...

Last night turned into a pretty good show. It started off really slow, as it normally does. I somewhat feel bad for the open mic people, but at the end of the day they can promote the show if they wanted an audience.

There was a gal that's kind of new that brought a few people. She opened with complaining that I put her up earlier this week than last. Not a great idea to complain and insult the person booking the show. She was awkward for a couple minutes not even making the friends she brought laugh and got off stage. I then brought up a man in a wheelchair, who swore and complained a lot. Not sure where the jokes were but oh well. After he got off stage, I said, "Ok were gonna keep the show rolling." Not planned, just awkwardly said it. He yelled a little bit, and I apologized. Definately not my intention. I was going to say it takes a lot of courage to come up here and be bald, but bailed on that idea.

Well I wasn't really looking forward to my set, as I'm not real happy with a lot of my jokes. I told my friend to write my set list for me, maybe give me some motivation. I think it worked out well. The set was a combo of jokes and crowd work as it't been the last few times. I really like doing it, but feel it may be affecting my joke writing. Who knows, I can only be funny each time and hope to improve.

Well the title. I started the blog mostly to keep my family in the loop, and I think it will be cool to look back at one day. I figured I'd always be honest and just give the run down of the politics and extra crap that comes with comedy. I recently lost a show because of it. And conflict avoided but it felt I could have lost a friend over it. I don't want things like that to happen, but also don't want to censor the blog. The blog is simply a way to open people's eyes to the crap of comedy. I think it would make a good book someday. I think it's silly I losta show over it, but could understand someone being bothered by my comments. Sucks as I know what he did was not intentional. and he's one of the best people in comedy. I think we smoothed things over. I guess in the future I should at least wait a day or two to think about my comments. Or at least not be so harsh. Who knows....

Hick bar show tonight, hoping to not get punched.

Alcohol is tasty

So have been living the last couple of days like I was on vacation. I have a friend from Maine visiting and we have been living it up. Had a show last night at 8, and I had started drinking at 3. I wasn't pounding drinks and took a break after awhile. I wouldn't say I was drunk, but I wasn't in perfect form. I went up at 930, but only had 2 beers since 6 so I was in pretty decent shape. I was scheduled to do 15 minutes, I'm not sure I did that long as it felt like it went fast. I did a combination of jokes and crowd work. I was actaully pretty happy about my set, I stumbled a few times, but think the flow was good overall. Maybe the booze made the laughs seem louder who knows. I spoke to my buddy after and he was like, "Eh it wasn't your best set. You had some of the crowd but others were lost." He seemed to back track a bit after. But seemed genuine that I didn't do that great. Who knows, up there I felt good. Maybe I shouldn't have spent the day drinking, but I need to let loose and be happy occeasionally.

Is honesty always for the best?

So I was a judge at the Palace last night and as expected there was maybe 15 people there. Luckily the people there were attentive and ready to laugh. They all sat in the front rows, and stayed for the whole show. They were a tad on the drunk side, but not rude and ready to have fun.

It was a little weird being a judge with such a small audience as my vote held more weight than usual. I think for the most part the top 3 were set, but the 4th person I imagine was close. I didn't look at the other judge's vote but I imagine his top 3 was close to mine. It ended up being 3 L.A. based comedians, and 1 dude who's been doing comedy awhile and does shows in L.A., advancing to the next round. I'm not one of those people who think L.A. people shouldn't be able to compete in S.D.'s funniest person contest, but it would be nice if they didn't put them all on the same show. It's crazy how one week there's a 100 person audience then 15 the next. I still don't understand why there's only 6 people in each second round with 4 advancing, but I guess it doesn't matter.

A comedian that did not advance asked me if he could say it was ironic I didn't advance from the first round, but was worthly of judging. I could care less about not advancing, or whether he said it. I knew what would be the outcome if he said it, and of course it came true. He opened with it, and it pretty much made the audience groan and wonder why it was necessary to say. It wasn't funny, as it's not a roast, nor do any of the audience members have a clue who I am. It is very important to be likeable on stage, and this put him in a whole from the start. I think after that he did have a good set, but like I said the top 3 were established and that 4th spot was so close. Whether that comment affected the crowd's voting or not will never be known, but I know it didn't help.

My set went pretty good. I had planned to do jokes, but I started into my joke and just went with the flow. I had a dude sit on my lap, had a dude admit he calls his wife mom in bed, a crowd member said she gave her bf road head while forgetting his friend was in the back seat, to which her bf said it was only awkward cuz the backseat dude was still talking. It was an interesting set. I did probably 11 or so minutes and told half of one joke. Ahh the roller coaster that is comedy.

After I got off stage one of the more established, funny comics (one of the few I respect and has been supportive) told me I'd never win a contest. He was like "Jeff, guys like us will never win contests. You are very funny, but you can't bring a big audience." He brought up how I went first a few times. He was nice, and it was good to see maybe I'm not crazy, I am just an unlucky soul. He has a lot of good jokes, and has done comedy shows and performed in Iraq. He is also what I worry I may become. He is tired of telling jokes, contemplates quitting, and wants to find that spark again. He's been doing it years longer than me, and probably doesn't have the same smarts as me, but I think I have the same negative bitter attitude as him. Just gotta stay positive.

So you've read 5 paragraphs and are probably wondering what the titles all about. Well I've spoke before abotu a "friend" I had in comedy who I felt changed and we drifted apart. Well the past month or so I've noticed a change for the better in him. Last night he didn't advance and was talking about how he rarely gets on shows, and was getting frustrated with the politics that is comedy. Well I felt this a good time to tell him my toughts on his approach to comedy. Maybe not the best timing to tell him I felt he was fake and was using people, but oh well. I did it with good intentions, whether he took it that way can only be seen in the coming weeks. I didn't tell him everything, but told him a good amount of things that probably won't sit well. I'm hoping it will make him more self aware of his actions, and help him enjoy comedy. I am genuine in most of my actions, and it may be a fault but I'd rather be honest than be fake. He called me after and thanked me. Hopefully our friendship can be mended. I did bring up the fact I pitched him the idea of a monthly show, which he had no recollection. At this point I'm over it, and am going to focus on enjoying my place in the San Diego comic scene.

Bad mood + poor expectations= Bad set

Well I had a pretty crappy set at the Blarney for the first time in awhile. It sucked as there was a good amount of people there. I told my friend to put my name down and kept faith he'd take care of it. He ended up not showing up on time, and I had to text the booker and I ended up going up 40 minutes after I should have. At the end of the day it is my job to be funny no matter the time I go up. But by the time I got up no one was listening. The dude that went before me had a decent amount of people there to see him, but it was probably his first maybe second time on stage and was awful. What made him so bad is that he wasn't speaking into the mic. This is so important at a bar, because if the person with the mic isn't loud enough the group feels it's there job to fill the silence. I got on stage and planned to do jokes, but was quickly blown off as I started with a simple who's drinking to which I got no response. So at this time I tried crowd work but as I had gone to a coworkers b day party I had about 5 shots of tequilla in about in hour. And this was counterbalanced with 2 16 oz. Rockstars. All this led to not being able to think of anything to respond nor did I really have a chance. At this point the crowd was lost. Another time which makes me wonder how Seinfeld would respond to such a room. If funny is funny, why wasn't I funny?

In the future I will not count on others to take care of things. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter it's just another show. But I did have a friend there, and it's always nice to do well when you have friends in the audience. Plus there was a good amount of people that if I could have done well who knows if I could have recruited them for other shows. Bombing is never fun, but I have bombed with my last 2 big, hostile crowds. Both in some way not my fault, but I have the mic, it's my job. Can't go around blamming others when the words are coming out of my mouth. The audience reaction, or lack there of, is in my hands.

I'm also trying to take hold of my drinking. I have curbed it a lot in the past 3 days. You might say didn't you just have 5 shots in an hour, yes but my tolerance at this point is rediculous. I don't drink for comfort I simply drink to sleep. The last couple nights, I basically sleep 3 hours, then wake up every 10 minutes. I dream nonstop about rediculous things and many have to deal with things 4 to 5 years ago. I'm not sure whether it's because my brain can't find happiness in the past 4 years, or if alcohol have erased my memory of the recent past.

I look at the unluckiness of my life. The luckiest day of my life, was when I won the $12500, when I got 1st in the online poker tournament. And today I'm pondering things, and it was around that date when my ex got engaged. Now I mentally can't even enjoy that day. Last week I lost $1300 in 5 hours playing poker. I was stone cold stober, played great for the most part, just getting unlucky over and over again. It's pathetic.

And now thinking about comedy. Last week I tried to judge at the Palace and there was probably 100 crowd members, I wasn't able to do it. This week if there is 20 audience members I will be shocked. There is 3 guys coming from L.A., two local guys that don't promote, and someone I've never heard before. It's so crazy how polar opposites one of my best comedy friends and I are. He's happy with life and everything seems to fall into his lap. I'm not jealous, I'm happy for the guy. I think slightly about the comedy contest. After helping count the ballots last week I realize you get 6 points for 1st. And while 4 of my friends couldn't get in due to not having their id's plus the 6 ballots that had to be tossed who knows where I'd been with 60 more points. At the end I was happy my friend won, but when will I catch a break. I finally meet a gal I'm attracted to and bond well with and she sends more mixed signals that a dislexic third base coach. Why am I bunting again, there's no one on base. Whatever I'm just going to try to get my life back on track, and maybe I'll catch a break.

Very slow show at Winston's

So we had the smallest turnout for Winston's since I took over 10 months or so ago. Neither of the headliners brought anyone, by this I mean zero. I knew the feature wasn't going to bring many, but he puts me on enough shows, I just hooked him up as a favor. Every week I have a newer person help promote in exchange for a better spot and more time. Well for the 2nd week in a row that person brought no one. Kinda crazy considering, he used to bring a few people when he first started and was getting 3 minutes. I don't understand some people's logic.

I hosted because the other dude was feeling ill. I tried a joke, which I cleared with a few minorities before. I figured it was ok. I tried it twice, as the people that were there earlier had since left and it was a new "crowd." Anyways the first time it went well, and the second time got awkward head shakes. Not sure I'll keep the joke. Who knows.

There is a new crop of weirdo comics. There was a mexican that said the n word about 20 times. Another dude that was awful but for some reason he thought he crushed. I'd be shocked if there was 1 funny comic to every 10 lunatics in the SD comedy scene.

My set was basically me talking to the 12 people that were there. I went from funny, to mean, to lame, all the above. I was happy overall with how it went. I ended kinda blah, but I couldn't have expected to bring down the roof.

Well I talked to the OBC dude about my disappointment about not being on the show. He basically told me what I already knew that he needed people that could promote. He said if I could bring 20 people he'd put me on. Well no crap. I'd put on 3/4 the comics in SD if they could bring 20 people. I realize his choices, but still feel I should have at least been asked. Esp. the amount of shows I've helped him get on, and never once really asked him to promote.

A few days after growing I'm mad again

Holy cow. It just happened, so might as well write what I'm feeling before thinking about it. So the dude I took over OBC for and the one I run the show with are putting on a show at the Comedy Store. And.... they didn't even ask me to be on. Honestly, I've put the one dude on so many of my palace shows. I'm at a lost for words right now. The only justification is that I'm doing a show the week before. But honestly, there's absolutely no excuse to not ask me. I can't trust anyone anymore. Like seriously. How many people can use me. I'm at a lost for words. Fucked up considering I asked the dude to host my show a week before. What is wrong with humanity.

Was suppose to have a show tonight but it got cancelled due to the Chargers game. Got a text 40 minutes before the show. How do you not know until then. Luckily I didn't drive there. I think it was going to be a rough show, but was kinda looking forward to the challenge. He said he'll put me on a show in the future.

Last night I could have been on a show, but pulled my name out. I had put the promoter on a few shows on the palace. Some before he changed his style. And looking back I told the gal I co promoted with I won't promote if he was on as his act was all about rape and creepy stuff. I didn't feel comfortable having people see me for the first time with him on. Anyways, I made a snide comment about how I put him on shows, thanks for repaying me. He asked me via facebook comment if I wanted to go on. I didn't respond. My buddy was on the show, and told me I could do time. So I called the dude and he said he'll put me on. Well I find out later, it's basically a music comedy show. I said I'd take the time. I show up and there was maybe 20 audience members. I don 't care about that but there was an entire band set up on stage. I planned on singing Chris Issac's wicked games, but didn't really have the space. I had to work at 6 Am today, so just bailed.

Tuesday I did a comedy show in a little coffee shop, smart district spot. There was a good amount of people there. I was doing 15 minutes. It's been awhile since I did just my jokes for 15 minutes. When I stepped in at Winston's I had the heckler thing and my friend on the guitar. It's so crazy how much I hate telling old jokes. I wrote down all my jokes, and had to pick what I wanted to do. It's all crap. I just really want to focus on crowd work. I did some jokes, it went ok. I was sweating more than I ever have on stage. It's not really nerves at this point. I screwed up one of my older jokes, and tried to dig my way out of it. I wouldn't say I lost the crowd, but didn't perform well enough to get invited back or shake hands/ kiss babies. A gal did say I was funny after, which is always nice.

I just go back and forth with my love for comedy. Over a year later I still forget it's a roller coaster. Highs and lows. But like poker, I only dwell on the lows. I lost 1300$ in one day Tuesday. I can't stop thinking about that. I'm sad that Tuesday went so subpar. It was a good crowd, and I definately didn't capatalize on the opportunity. The main reason I tried to stop playing poker is how depressed it makes me. I hope I never want to quit comedy due to depression. I just see myself getting burnt out. There's no finish line. I always did well in school cuz I was rated. The better I did the better the grades. Plus I knew at the end I'd get a piece of paper that would help me land a job at home depot... But with comedy there's no finish line. At least with poker there are tournaments with a winner. I don't know... I just wanna be happy again.

New response

Final email from the dude simply states....

Your such a Dick!

Key word "your" I mean if you're going to be mean sir, at least be grammatically correct.