You want the knife back?

So did an unexpected set at the Comedy Palace tonight. I went there intending to work the door and they let me do some time. I could have went without going on stage. I didn't do that great. Stumbled over my words a few times, and lost some of the audience. I went up first which is fine, but I wasn't happy with my set. Like I said before when I started I didn't drink at all, but with getting free drinks at the Friday spot I've been using that to loosen me up. I didn't drink at all tonight, and while I don't feel nervous or anything. While I'm up there I feel like I'm talking too fast and my pacing is off. You should never blame it on the audience, but this crowd was kind of dumb, they wanted yelling and didn't want to hear witty stuff. The comic that went up after me did really well. He started at like 19. God I wish I started when I was younger, even if I started when I moved out here who knows where I'd be. I'm so tired of some of my jokes. I'm starting to turn into the comic I dreaded. The dude that does the same jokes every week. It's depressing, esp. considering I don't even know what my solid 10 minutes is. I'm tired of my jokes!

Now to the title of the blog. I used to write with this one comic, but we kind of stopped writing as he wanted to focus more on promoting and working on being better than me...basically. I kind of saw this guy as a friend but he Hollywood's me quite a bit. He's from L.A. and as much as I thought he was better than all that I'm slowly learning he's all about doing what is going to help him. I gave him a really big break next semester because I thought we were friends, but at this point I don't really even feel comfortable shaking his hand. I'm not going to make a brass decision and say he's done, but if I continue to get this weird vibe I'm going to have to.

What prompted the latest thing. I am writing with a new comic who I feel comfortable with and doesn't act like he's better than me. Plus I've been texting with another comic a lot recently. And our texts inspired some joke about soap operas, etc. I then spawned a joke about sesame street and elmo. I have a lot of stuff. But what I was most proud of was this, "why is elmo so excited, he is basically one missing L from being emo." I think that is real clever. I then went into no one buying a tickle me emo doll, and what it would do if you squeezed it. I was really excited about this joke. Other ppl thought it was funny. I tell this dude, he stares at me and says "Are you serious?" Gives me a face like you suck, I'm so much better than you. Sorry sir, I guess I only can write jokes about being a minority and having sex to impress you. I'm bitter that crowds love jokes that are sooooo over done, but something out there like the surgeon general having the easiest job or needle in a haystack being a rediculous phrase get a few chuckles.

I recall telling him I had 45 minutes of material a few months back. He's like "Ya but how much is A material?'' I said all of it. I have no idea what A material is. I had so many jokes that got laughs that I rarely do anymore. I have no clue what A material is. He likes puting people down, I'm not cool with that.

Slow down the drinking boozehound

Did some writing with a comedy buddy during the day yesterday. I got 2 quality jokes out of it that I'm excited about. One about the young and the restless/ seseme street, and the other about feeling bad for the transfat. They are I think different. That's my biggest thing I try to do when writing is try to take an idea that no one has tapped into, kind of goes along with the fact minorities doing all jokes about being a minority. I try to stay away from doing jokes about getting so drunk, so high, etc.

Later in the night we picked up a fellow comic. She hasn't been doing it that much lately but I used to hang out/ perform with her a lot when I first started. She used to constantly remind I was new when I first started whenever I complained about having rough shows or other people doing shows I thought I should be on. That pissed me off a bit but whatever.

We planned to go to the spot I did a few weeks ago that was pretty much an all (looks around to make sure they're not reading) black people crowd. shhhh. That is fine but they were not wanting to laugh. Anyways on our way there one of my buddies said they weren't doing comedy that night. Luckily we didn't drive all the way there. Anyways we then went to the ladies house and milked a delicious 32 oz bud ice. We then went to a pizza spot to spilt a pitcher and get some food. I used to go there basically every Tuesday for a year or more with one of my former best friends. He met a gal, is now engaged, and we no longer speak. People that change in relationships are dumb. Anyways, I drank a couple beers there, ate the large slice of pizza, and we headed out. For some reason I thought it to be a good idea to get one of the energy alcohols before Moondoggies. I'm sure me drinking one of those every day is why I wake up wide awake at 6 am everyday, even if I do drink til 2.

Anways we get to Moondoggies and It was packed. There was quite a few people the last few weeks but this was nuts. Basically just a bunch of douches there just to meet hot women that have low self esteem, but not low enough to date someone like me. So I went up second again. I felt somewhere inside that I was going to do good again. Nope couldn't get the crowds attention. I got some laughs and some people came up to me after and said I was funny. I did as good as I could I guess. Can't be too hard on myself all the time. I am welcomed back and that's all I can ask for.

Clean and sober

So I did Lestat's again last night, the place I must not use swear words. My name got drawn....FIRST! Hell ya. That made me feel grrrreat. I wasn't going to go up if I got a late spot. I went up at like 7:30. When I first started I never drank before going up. Now with running Winston's and getting free drinks I often have a few beers before going on. It definately makes me more comfortable and engergenic. I think I am still funny sober, I am just a lot drier. I don't really feel nervous I don't think, the jokes are simply a little more choppy. I paused a few times, and I played it off well. Just little stumbles that I don't make after a few beers. I think I did pretty well. I tried my new Smokey the Bear joke and that had a good response. There's no bigger rush than having a new joke work. Like I've said before this is mostly a music open mic. I did pretty solid, and some dude actually said "Good shit man," as he was leaving. People that arn't comics, or entertainers in general, do not realize how much that means to us. As many of you know from reading the blog I'm an overall negative/ pestimistic person. Any compliments are greatly appreciated.

After the show, I went to the gym, then met up with the girl from the previous evening at the same bar. They have a trivia night and she is a fan. They're trivia night is much more intense than the one at Winston's. At Winston's we announce the question, they give you a sheet of paper with about 25 questions, and there's only 3 rounds as opposed to our 7. It kind of makes things less fun and social. I didn't really get a chance to talk to her at all. It is a little weird because it appears she dates or used to date the host guy. Kinda feel she may still like him a bit. I think I'm already just placed in the friend zone. Oh well. We did talk about going to dinner or something when she returns from her new Year's trip, although she did say "I'm still going to quiz you though." I have no idea what that means. She is amazingly cute. I established last night she kind of looks like a SD female comic and one of my comic buddies gf. Not sure that's weird or not. Anyways, I just kept looking at her and thinking, "Man she's adorable." Is it gay for a late 20's dude tell a gal, "You're cute as a button." Don't worry I didn't, but that phrase kept going through my head. I never really understood what that meant anyways. Button are not cute, and if they are like my buttons they will fall off within a month and I'm so cheap I'll keep wearing the shirt anyways. Well enough girl stuff.

Sunday night I facebook chatted with a fellow comic. He is newer than me, and I like helping people out. I gave him some advice when he first started and not too pat myself on the back but he took the advice and got better. He has been getting better and better but within the past month I noticed a change. He is black and that seems like the only thing he wants to talk about. I really can't stand that stuff. I mean don't get me wrong Chris Rock obviously much funnier than me, but if he was white how famous would he be. Watch his hour specials, take out any joke that talks about being black, and how long of a special do you have. Anyways I told the dude in the nicest way that I noticed he's doing it, and hoped he'd just focus on being funny. He seemed to take it well, but I texted him yesterday and didn't hear back. Hope he's not made, he's a good dude and I think has potential to be a solid comic. Maybe I should stop giving advice as who the hell am I anyways.

2 shows what up

Welp did a couple shows tonight. The first was 3 minutes at the Comedy Store. I had nothing planned and winged it. It was real choppy and prolly sub par. 3 minutes is not comedy. I should try to plan those sets. The crowd did not want to hear sad stories. They sighed a lot, but the laughter was slight. I wonder how long I'll have to do comedy until I make it to the SD best position. There's is this one dude that simply yells a lot and is Sd's best and it's embarassing to me. Comedy is all about time and thats lame.

I then went to a pub that does comedy. It was very tough. I tried more crowd work and did ok. I chatted with a real cute gal b4 my set. She watched me and gave me her info after my set. I was funny, she might like me. Now I have to try to not screw it up. I'm so bad with the play it hard to get, wait 3 days bs. I just want to be myself, but I will try to play the game with this one.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Wow awful show tonight. Went to a spot I did once before. People are not there to hear comedy at all. When I do rooms like this I wonder how big time comics like Seinfeld or Leno would do. I mean would people listen to them. My set was zero jokes, basically zero crowd work. I had the mic off the stage while the band was setting up. I tried to talk to people but they had no interest. Tried to get a girl to hug me, her ugly ass didn't want to get off her chair. I'm just bitter with people that don't take the opportunity to be silly. Get over yourself, try something different. This spot also played music in the backround while comics were attempting to do jokes. I was proud of the other comics for sticking it through and continuing to try jokes. It was a tough experience, but I adjusted well.

On that note, no matter how tough a room is a comic can always get something out of it. I hate how comics think they are better than open mics. If you have day job, and pay your bills from money recieved from services other than comedy, you are not better than open mics. You need to build a fan base, your crowd work is lacking, your jokes arn't good enough, you haven't put enough time in.

This spot talked to one of the comics about doing a night of open mic comedy. This spot is not right for that at all. First of all the stage is to the right of the bar. It's not natural to have more the half the crowd to the right of the stage. Secondly, 0.0 percent of the people were there for comedy. I understand more might come on a comedy night, but it's more of a divey, alcoholics spot. I'd probably do time, but it will never really be popular.

Speaking of unnattractive bitches, I am still on Plenty of Fish to meet gals, and not only do most girls ignore my messages some actually block me. Really what the f word is wrong with ppl? I'm not even interested in you.

I wanted to rip on more people but I forgot, prolly luckily.

Im funny again

Hearing people laugh is an awesome feeling. I hosted a trivia night this evening. I said I will kiss someone on the mouth if they tip the bartender 5$. Some gal did. She was cute and I kissed her. I got her name and think I added her on facebook.

While were at it, me and the lady ended things. It was a mutual thing.

I told some jokes at the same spot I did last Tuesday. It was again a tought crowd but they were easier and let me do material this week. I told some jokes and did some crowd work. People told me I was funny after. The feature dude who is a SD big time comic said I did well a few times. That was cool to hear. I'm gonna eat food.

I still suck

Did a show 2night. Some ppl laughed but I didn't feel like I did that well. There was a girl out front that was basically asleep and that was all I could see. I went up after a dude that did a lot more time than anyone else. He was funny but it was not ez following him. It was a long day. I went into work an hour late, went to the gym during my lunch break, showered after work, went to the party, then the show, then back to the xmas party. I'm not feeling good about my jokes so it was sad I didn't do that well. Things ended with the lady. It's cool, it was mutual. She has her stuf 2gether and I obviously don't. I'm trying to book more Maine shows but it seems there r only 2 places that do comedy. I booked at one place, and the others will come. I like a gal at work and I think its time I try to take her out. She's real pretty. I would brag about her. Dare me to ask her out.... I will.

Jokes: Facebook, spell check, google, typewriters, 100% american, old vadge, home depot, cigarettes, intervention, etc

Welp I suck again

Did an interview before the show yesterday for a dude's documentary on open mic comedy. It was cool to talk about things and the struggle of comedy. I had worked since 7 am, and didn't drink the 3 nights prior which means no sleep. During my lunch break I took a nap but I was still kind of tired. The interview was interesting, I don't think I got into as much as I wanted but it was cool to be on camera again. I kind of miss the production side of all that stuff.

Anyways comedy. Looking back I probably drank too much, or it hit me harder because I was so tried. Either way I wasn't that excited or that funny for that matter. The lady brought some friends which is great and all but it puts additional pressure on me. I will not be funny at every show. One of her friends came up to me after and said "I heard good things about you, sorry it wasn't great tonight." Awesome my first impression is I suck. Never ever tell a comic they didn't do well. I probably need to take a break, as I really thought about quitting last night. I know I won't because ppl keep putting me on their shows. That's awesome and all, but that means more pressure to promote. It's hard enough to promote when you feel confident is your abilities but when you feel like crap it doesn't make things very easy.

I tried a joke about siamese cats that I fussed with for about 2 weeks. I think it was quite but it didn't go over that well. I did some other jokes that go some ha ha's but nothing that good. The headliner was some dude that has some tv credits. I could see him in the back of the bar just staring at me like "Get off the stage the people are here to see me" We were pretty short for time so when I saw that I basically packed it in and got off the stage. Give it a D. 3 people actually came up after and said I was funny. Who knows maybe I did ok, I didn't feel that way tho.

I did a lot of things wrong yesterday. First I'm too nice. I let way too many people on our lightening round and lost the audience. I didn't plan my set at all. I drank too much. I had no energy. Doing a bad set sucks, sucks even more when people came to see you. The shitty feeling of having a bad set sticks with you way longer than the joys of having a good set. I feel a little nervous/ stress about the show tomorrow. I wasn't able to promote that much because it's also the night of my x mas party, and work ppl r the majority of ppl I can get to my shows. I feel like telling them to just take me off. It's not like it will affect the show, hell I'm not even on the poster. Kinda funny I talked to the dude that mad ethe poster and he didn't even realize it. He's a nice guy and know he didn't do it on purpose, but to not even know I wasn't on there is kinda funny (probably not the word).

Anyways, just got booked for shows Jan 3 and 17. Both shows I have to promote, and will be hated for if I don't. One is for the dude that put me up first on the last show. I probably should just not do it, but I have to push myself. The other one is for a gal who is really nice. Says, she wants me on just for my humor, but everyone wants you to bring ppl. The thing about this one is the line up of people. One dude sings an entire song about basically raping women. When I started comedy that was the one subject I said I would never cover. You could talk about murdering someone and theyre wont be a dead person in the crowd. With a rape joke there could always be someone in the crowd. Rape in my mind is just as bad or maybe worse than killing someone. Do I really want to tell my friends to come watch a show with a comic like that?

Finally the lady. Well leave it at that.

Jokes: Siamese cats, old vadge, hand jobs, other bad jokes

Ahh the roller coaster that is comedy

Did 2 shows in one night for only the 2nd time tonight. I was about to say first time but I remember now that I did do 2 rooms one Friday a while back. That was actually the same night I was asked to help out with OBC. Anyways the first room was god awful. I mean people were talking and the people that were actually watching the show didn't want to laugh nor even be involved in the show. There was a meet up group there that didn't even want to laugh. It wasn't just me, all the comics did bad. I hate doing bad, but here felt particularly more soul crushing because it was my first time doing the room, and I will prolly never go back.

While I was there one of the Comedy Store regulars who also runs a bar in Pacific Beach asked another comic to come down and do the show tonight. I was standing next to him, so he asked me to. I've never really talked to the guy, so whether he was just being nice or actually wanted me to go, I'll take the invite either way. He was actually the comic from the Comedy store the other night that asked if the door guy was a fan of me. He's told me before I was funny so maybe he does think I have some potential.

Anways I get to the place and of course it's a bar. He tells me this is the hardest room in San Diego. I'm like "Harder than the place we were just at?" He says yes. I'm like awesome. I went up first which is never easy. I get up there and go with the Mclovin stuff and the crowd loves it. I proceed to do crowd work for the rest of the time. I try to tell jokes but get interupted and talk to them. Actually had a few girls get up with me on stage and take pictures. This was one of the nights I wish I had business cards. I could have added all those people and brought them to other shows. So I walk off stage knowing I killed. Thats such a good feeling to do well, esp. in front of people that don't wanna hear comedy. Had some people tell me I was funny, even the door man called me Mclovin. The girls that were chatting with me said I did well and wished I was up there longer.

I brought the lady with me and she enjoyed it. When I was trying to locate her I noticed her at the bar. Some dude was trying to hit on me, and saying I was funny. I stroll up she says she knows me he proceeds to buy me a beer. We then go over and hang out with them for awhile. Before I left I talked to the dude that is in charge of the show. He's been on comedy central and stuff. He said I did really well and could come back any time I'd like. That was cool, he said I was likable, I was like "I didn't even tell any jokes." He says ya these ppl don't wanna hear jokes, even though you told that one corny joke, they loved it cuz they were with you. I guess I'll take the compliment. I love when ppl say mean things and don't even realize it. But I was happy and I'll probably try to do the room again. I'll give that set an A-, I really should give it an A, but it was only 5 minutes, and I didn't get paid. I think A's should be on tv, or at least a standing ovstion.

Clean jokes please

Well I went back to Lestat's, the place that I got picked dead last and questioned all of life the last time I was there, and actually got picked. It's a music and comedy open mic. It's messed up cuz they only give comics 5 minutes, and all the musicians get 10. I ended up going up kinda early. I was prolly the 2nd maybe 3rd comic. The guy that went b4 didnt even sing songs, he played instrumentals. Nothing like doing comedy after a dude that put the audience to sleep.

I got up there and told some clean jokes. It's sad I can't even recall how many clean jokes I have. The crowd was a fan of me, and I think I got an applause break. That means I did really well. The host, who prolly hates comics, told me he likes my stuff and to come back next week. That felt kinda cool. Ppl in the crowd said I did well, I even got some high fives.

I stopped a few times, cuz i forgot my many clean jokes. It's so crazy how I started being totally clean and now I cant even do more than 5 minutes of clean material.

Jokes: Intervention, nintendo, pretzels, 100% american, etc

3 minutes won't make you famous

I did the Comedy Store again tonight. It is a great room to perform at. The laughs are so much louder and the attention is all on you. It is also weird to look out in the crowd and see people basically just staring at you, thinking "Make me laugh monkey." You paid zero dollars to get in, why the f are you here if you're not even gonna try to let me make you laugh.

I didn't have a guarenteed spot, but I was hanging out with the lady near the comedy club after so I went down to try to get on the alternate list. I texted one of my comedy buds I knew was gonna be there to ask about the alt list, he said there was 2 ppl on it. I figured with the bad weather (so lame I say mid 50's temp and a lil rain is bad temp to me now) that a lot of people wouldn't show up. Yay, I was right. A bunch didn't show up, I was alt 7 or so. But the host adjusted the schedule and put ppl where he wanted. He called some sub par comic his favorite new talent. I know he didn't mean it but well I hope he didn't anyways cuz that dude, eh, lame. My buddy closed the new talent section, the host basically said he wasn't new talent when he introduced him. Well then stop being a closed fraterity and let other ppl into youre comedy club line up. Comedy is so full of politics.

My set. It was the first time I went on stage and wasn't completely sure of what I was gonna do. I had some ideas, but nothing set. I started off kinda choppy but I did some funny stuff i think. 3 minutes is not comedy. I feel like once I even catch my breath I already get the light. The host was talking to one to a dude that used to run OBC and now is a Comedy Store lacky asking if he was a "Jeff Bilodeau fan" WTF that was about I have no idea. I do feel like ppl knw who I am at the Comedy Store now which is nice, but how many more open mics do I hve to do to be a more than 3 minutes kind of comic. As I was there they announced the features for the night. I don't recall both names, but one was this f word terrible comic. I mean uncomfortable awkward comedy. i had to leave when the lady saw him last week. he has jokes about a letter from a crack baby and a lot of hitler stuff. it's not funny and it scares many ppl.

Good luck... I realized I've had some good luck. I have basically been lying to my insurance company for 4 yrs saying I still lived in Maine. I never got into an accident or had anyone hit me. I say it's good luck, but I still control it, as I'm a great driver. But, I guess I need to switch it over and pay 3 times as much. Whatever all my posts are about how unlucky I am, I figured I didn't get unlucky with this yet. Let's jinx it, yay!

jokes: intervention, lies to ladies, 100% american, home depot

Shhh there's a comic on stage

So, I did Winston's last night. Weird weird night. It was rainy, and there was a good amount of people there. Sad thing is they were not there for the comedy, they were neither there for the band. They pretty much talked the entire show. Everyone had a rough time winning the crowd over. I got up there and basically said nothing for a few seconds. This brought the entire crowds attention to me. I kept them pretty quiet and got some laughs as well. I felt it was one of my better shows, simply because I won over a really tough crowd. Some girl came to watch me. I always feel pressure to impress ppl that come watch me for the first time. I warned her before I went up it probably won't be too great, but she said she enjoyed it I'll give my set an A-.

Couple pieces of advice for new comics. Don't bad mouth clubs to other people who will in turn tell the club promoters, that's going to get you off shows pretty quickly. Also, don't pass out tickets to other shows after performing at a club. Very disrespectful.

I wrote about 7 minutes of new jokes yesterday. I haven't had one of those days in a really long time. I think I was in a life rutt, and meeting the girl has got me out of the funk. I did a few of them last night and they went pretty well. I have been drinking a few adult beverages the last few weeks before my Winston's shows. Nothing too crazy, but I should probably cut back a bit. Also, I have an opportunity to take over another room on Thursday nights. It's just a bar, and won't be anything big, but I would like a no pressure room to dick around and hang out with some comics. I will be calling the owner tomorrow, if he makes it worth my time, I'll probably take it over.

Jokes: 100% American, needle in a haystack, nintendo, getting older, dmv, cialis

Jesus honestly?

So let's start by ranting about unlucky life other than comedy. Fuck poker, seriously, I just need to stop playing. Luck is involved in being good, and I'm not lucky at all, enough is enough already. Other shitty stuff, even though some fucking mexican standing outside my work store my year sticker, the city gave me a fucking ticket for that. I appealed it, and the jackass state of Cali kept the ticket intact. Now I have to wait 2 hours at the god damn DMV 2morow, because Arnold wants to close the fucking place down every Friday. LEt's save money. Hey jackass do you realize how much were paying ppl in unemployemnt. Give the miserable fuckers jobs at the DMV and let's get me out of there before a new shitty Terminator movie is released. God I hate stupid ppl. Then I get home and see a nice note from the IRS. I guess since I took my money out of mutual funds I have to pay taxes on that, so not only did I lose 5 grand in 2 months, now i have to pay the fuckers in Washington another 1k. Awesome thanks. And to show how unlucky I am, I didn't follow the progress of my mutual funds since I put it in when I was 18. I put money in in August of 2001, when I guess the market was at a real low. Welp Sept 11 happened and my 10k dropped to 5k. Because I'm a pussy I didn't invest more money then. Well the 5k made it's way to 13k. Then my mom said I could check out my stocks online. You know when this was. October 2008, when the market stARTEd tanking. Am I saying I am completely at fault for the market crashing, of course not, but it is kind of fucked up. My 13k dropped to 9k. I did some research and knew the market was going to go down big, so I pulled my money out. Well because I'm such a moron I guess I still had to take the loss on that day. Which the market lost me another 600$. Awesome thank you. Now I have to pay another 1k. WTF. How I still have money to my name is amazing.

Well comedy. Had a show tonight. Got some pressure to promote and bring people from the guy that runs the show. Basically saying if you don't bring people comedy isn't important to you. Really? If you do the same jokes every week, comedy obviously isn't that important to you. I end up going up basically first and most of the ppl that came to see me didn't get to see me. Not real happy about A. going first, B. not having ppl see me. Anyways, I will no longer do favors for ppl. I see why ppl get jaded. Gotta look out for yourself I guess. I was pissed b4 I got on stage, went into autopilot and did pretty well while I was up there, and took about a half hour to cool down after my set. Talked to the lady who calmed me down. I really think she's great and hope it works. She even invited ppl to come and they actaully came. I had no idea they were there, but one of them hugged me and said they got to see the end of my set. Oh well. Made a few bucks, had a few strangers say I was funny, guess it's an ok night.

Jokes: Facebook, spell check, google, typewriters, baby can read, give 2 shits, needle in a haystack, home depot, not a slut, intervention, can i be honest, how you doing, directions

New England College show booked!!!

Welp something good happened to me, the show at New England college was approved last night. I'm really excited. I was told they pitched our video and 20 out of 20 of the secret ballot voters said yes to our show. That makes me proud. I will know work on booking some other shows that weekend. The other guys seem pretty happy as well and I'm glad I could do that for them.

Well San Diego comedy. I have a show tomorrow evening at the Comedy Palace. I have to promote, which I hate. I don't like putting people in a position of feeling like they will dissapoint me if they don't show up. My room mate is really supportive and makes it to all the shows I have asked him to go to. That means a lot. Around 40 people said they might come, but if 15 come I'd be shocked. The guy booking the show said he is bringing 109 people, and that he's only gonna book ppl that take comedy seriously. Not sure what that means, he said when he booked me he would be happy if i could bring at least 10. I do not have the ability to bring 100 people. Esp. when I'm making zero dollars for doing the show. I mean stage time is limited, so I need to try to make a good impression every show, but bringing more than 20 people when most of my friends are comics or live 3000 miles away, isn't that easy. Welp I hope the people come, and I'm funny.

Comedy Store with a lady

Actually got picked for the Comedy Store open mic. First time in awhile. They say it's a random drawing, who knows to be honest. They put me on, and I appreciate it. I went up 2nd. Every time I've done that place I've gone up first or second. I think once I went up 6th, but it's rare.

Anyways, my lady friend joined me. It was a little hard as when I got there there was 4 ppl in the crowd. There were a few more ppl when I went up. I did a pretty much clean set. I was slightly nervous before I went up because the gal thinks I'm funny and I didn't want to disappoint. I got up there and did my dry delivery and did pretty good. I felt good up there. I told another comic, the laughs at a comedy club are so much stronger than doing a bar. When I headlined there were 60 ppl there to see me, and while I was on stage I didn't think I was doing that great. There were maybe 13 ppl in the crowd when I went up and I could hear all the laughter. But for some reason all I can see up there is the one or two ppl not laughing. The other night at Winstons there was a lady in the front row that was yawning while I was on stage. She was there for the headliner, and I watched her and while the headliner was on stage she didn't laugh at all. Wtf is wrong with people. If you're not gonna laugh get the f out the front row. I give the set a solid B. Only cool thing was that the host, who is kinda mean to all the open micers, after I got off stage he said "That was funny right, it's great when the comics are actaully funny i don't have to say anything in between." He only said that about one other dude that night.

Life stuff. Should find out this week if I'm gonna get booked at my sister's college. I really really hope it happens. And about the girl, I like her, I think she likes me, maybe it will turn out well.

Winston's Dec 4 boom!

Another week, another single show. It's so weird doing only one show. There was some weeks I was going up as many as 6 days, and now only 1. The only good thing is that I'm starting to get some joke ideas. That hadn't happened in a little while.

Last night was another weirdish show. We had some bigger named SD comics that were suppose to show and didn't end up coming. Plus one of the guys that started OBC didn't show up. Also probably 5 of the open mic ppl didn't show. So I had to rework the schedule and give ppl more time. That is never usually a problem, as comics love more time. At the end we ended up going over time anyways.

The crowd was pretty full, and were there to laugh so that is always good. I did pretty ok, tried out some new jokes and reworked stuff that I didn't use for my headline show. I have another bigger, I have to promote show, this Wednesday. I'm trying to have 8 minutes of material that I didn't do for my headlining show. I probably have 4 or so, we'll see.

I did some crowd work, which I wanna try doing more of. I think I'm naturally a funny person, and Improv is what I think is my real calling. Although I've auditioned for a few SD improv groups and they don't feel the same way. Anyways later in the night while I was hanging out one of the comics told me that I shouldn't do crowd work, as in you are not good at it. You should never put down another comic, maybe give him ideas to improve, but I would never say that joke was bad. And not to toot my horn probably 5 ppl told me I did really well, and honestly the dude has had a few good sets lately, but for someone that has been doing it for 4 years + I am light years ahead of him. I take comedy pretty serious and try to work my jokes all the time, trying new things and the such, don't come at me with criticism if you're going to do the same 8 minutes every week. /rant

As I write this I'm listening to Lady Gaga Bad Romance, I really think she is good. Just quite different. Anyways, the girl that picked me up from my show is still in the picture. It's going good I think. She stopped by before my show, and brought the kids she babysits. I think it's kinda pathetic I'm almost as excited to see the kids as her. I really like kids and am excited to have some in the future. Being a dad is probably the only thing I'll be able to do better than making people laugh. Welp time for gym then moving Christmas trees for stuck up SD women. Peace homies.

Winston's laughs can I hear you?

Welp did another show last night at Winston's. It was a really weird show as it was the day after Thanksgiving and a lot of people either didn't show up or didn't want to go on. This made things a little choppy but we made it. There were a lot of San Diego's best up and coming comics and I gave them more time. A lot of the comics did really well. There are so many that are so hit or miss, but most of them were on last night. The headliner, who is different than most comedians, was stressing before his set. He did really really well. One of the best headliners I've seen. He he so out there and nitche, that if he could find an audience he could really take off. I was planning to go up a little later but a friend of mine came and I figured I'd go up earlier.

My set went pretty decent. Winston's is such a weird room. People are spaced out all over the place and you can see every face. In a comedy club you can barely see the first row and can only hear the laughter. With Winston's the room is so spread out that the laughter is so sparatic you can't really tell how well you are doing. I can always hear the dude I run the show with laughing and that always means a lot. If you can make comics laugh you're doing well.

I reworked some jkes I tried last week, and tried a new one. I think the new one went well and has potential. I do a Jesus joke and I also think that could become something. I have a joke about the pot calling the kettle black. I think that's a funny saying and go into the pot being a racist and bullying all the other dish ware. I think it's funny and unique but I can't seem to sell an audience. I am going to try it out front of a comedy crowd and see if it really has legs. I need to keep trying to get on stage. I have a comedy bigger shows lined up for December so we'll see how that goes. Also, I'll soon learn the fate if I'll get booked at my sister's college. It doesn't look like USM is interested, but if I get the sis college gig, I will try to book a 3rd Maine venue on top of the Gold Room in Portland.

Life stuff. Work is starting to get annoying. I'm ut in the X mas tree lot, and people are f word crazy. Stuck up bitches looking through 8 trees to decide which oone they want to die in their living rooms in the next 4 weeks. What the hell does it matter, get over you're self. You don't need a tree a month b4 x mas. Also, still kicking it with the lady from last week, still like her, no signs of her not liking me yet, who knows. Oh and I haven't got drunk all week. I've had a few beers here and there, but no vodka and no getting wasted. My sleep has been horrible, as in wake up every hour and up at 7 wide awake. But I'm hoping the sleep will fall into place.

Show posters:

Tired of being unlucky

A majority of people that gamble think they are unlucky, but I've come to realize I need to stay away from anything that involves luck. When I started taking blackjack seriously when I moved here in June 06 we couldnt lose. We never did, ever. For 3 months straight. Winning anywhere from 500 to 3k a night. Then one night I went home and was having problems with the ex and ended up losing 3k playing blackjack in one night. Once the ex officially ended things, I could never win. I've played BJ a few times since the break up and out of the 50 hands I've played I've lost probaby 47 of them. I'm not lying. Every time I play I lose 8 or 10 straight hands in a row. It's pathetic.

As far as poker there has been one day I got lucky. I won the freeroll for 12k. Other than that I've gotten unlucky over and over again. This past week I ran 50$ up to 300 just playing well and not getting unlucky. Then these last few days it's been rediculous. Unlucky one hand after another, one being even worse than the next. It's so depressing. I've lost thousands and thousands of dollars getting unlucky, not to mention all the money I could have won if I didn't get fucked over.

Today was pretty miserable. Wake up, play a tourney, get screwed in 4 straight, to lose the final 30$ in my account. Then I open up a letter from a company that is in direct resposibility for my tire popping a few months ago. They were doing street repairs and they had bolts sticking out the sidewalk. They basically said I shouldn't have parked there and should have seen the bolt on the street at night time. So now I have to get pissed off, and get my money. I can get very angry when people try to screw me over.

Then I try to go to the open mic at Lestat's. They have a drawing to pick names. And of the 30 people that signed up I got picked dead last. Are you kidding me? Last? When will anything good happen to me again. Honestly I'm tired of it. I'm not looking for simpathy or the like, it's basically maybe if I put it into words maybe things will change. It can't get worse. Probably a bad week to take a break from drinking, oh fucking well.

Back on stage

Went up at Winston's last night. Back to the struggle. It was a really weird show. There was a good amount of people in the crowd but they were all talking and waiting for the band. We were pretty short for time, so I only did like 3 minutes. I tried my jesus joke again. It went ok, I think I need to practice it a little more. It sucks so much that Madhouse shut down. The Monday and Tuesday shows weren't good/ big crowds but those are great nights to work out material. At Winston's I'm going out late with the "meat" of the show, so I'm expected to be funny. People came up to me and said I did well actually, and asked why I stopped. I could hear some laughter but I really wasn't in the mood to win the crowd over. I need to find a new spot to work out jokes. I had dong music open mics, but it looks like I'll have to start doing them again.

Welp life stuff. Actually had a pretty gal come up to me after the show and said I did well and that I was her favorite. I was like serious? She had seen me a few weeks back and liked my stuff. I was like cool. I said are you on facebook, she said I'd rather give you my number, I said hmmm am I on Punked? So I said, I have no plans let's hang out and that we did. She was a lot of fun and maybe it might work out. As always I figure it won't but it would be cool if it did. I mean I was in my nerd get up, and pretty much bombed on stage and she still was interested, who knows.

Week off

So I haven't performed since my headlining gig, and I probably won't again until this Friday days show. I went and watched a show tonight. It was at a dive bar called the Blarney stone pub. I've heard some horror stories about that place. Like people getting into fist fights in the bar, and just overall hating the comics.

The show started off pretty good. I went to watch a couple of my buddy comics and I wanted to see the spot as it was the last week there. I had a vision of the place in my mind and this wasn't exactly it. I pictured a big bar with a raised stage. Rather this place was tiny, with the first row basically on the comics lap. Also the lighting was typical bar so there's no real attention for the comic. The crowd got progressively less interested, and started to leave. I stayed for a few hours and left.

While being there I kind of felt like I didn't want to get on stage. That is weird. It was a really bad week for comedy. The spot that has kept me bust closed, another troupe I used to work with stopped their shows, and now this room is done. Not like I love doing that room but it would at least be an option. I don't know if I'm burnt out or I hit a high point for this time with headlining, that doing the skeezy rooms doesn't appeal to me.

I need to start writing and trying new material to try to get that spark back. I've said many time before doing old jokes do nothing for me. I guess what has kind of let me down the most is that when I watch my videos it really doesn't sound like I am winning over the whole crowd. The laughter isn't loud enough. I guess it's like an acoholic, once they get used to one drink they need more and more. While I'm on stage it feels awesome, but when looking back I'm like "Why am I pacing, why did I screw up those words." I'm hoping the show Friday will get me out of the funk.

Here's a tune up show for my headlining gig. It's from the Madhouse on Sunday Nov. 1

Madhouse madness

So the spot I perform at Sun- Wed is temp. closed. That really sucks, but it is nice to have somewhat of a break from comedy. I probably will not perform at all this week. This will be the first week off since I started. It's good to take a break, but there is some new material that I wanna work on. I wanna work with 3 other comics and try to secure a Thursday night bar spot. I think we have potential just have to find an outlet.

Wanna talk about booking next semester at my sisters college. It's becoming a little stressful. First off, it's not booked yet. It may happen but it's not for sure. Then it's who to take? I want to take one dude, because he's been supportive of me since I started. Well to be honest I kind of thought he was a dick when I met him. I remember one of my earlier shows that I had a lot of my friends come to him and a few other comics were talking loudly in the back. He also came off kind of cocky, but I soon learned that is just his personality. I want him to come because I know I'd have a good time with him and he's funny.

Now the tough part picking a 3rd. It's pretty much between 4 people. One guy does music comedy, which I think we mix it up. The other is a gal, who would win over the women. The other is a 20 something, that pretty much does the same style as me and the other dude. The fourth is married, doesn't drink, and although hilarious, probably wouldn't enjoy the college tour.

I need to think about people that would ask me to join them if they did a tour. The married dude and the music guy would not. I kind of feel the girl would, and the dude I'm asking and the other dude might. This is a lot of rambling but I want to get my thoughts out. I think if I can book this college tour, it will be the start of something amazing. I'm so done with Home Depot. I knew that comedy was my calling for the past ten years. It took me way too long to get on stage, but I always knew in the back of my mind that I would do it. I remember going on a road trip to Toronto and betting my best bud that I'd be richer than him bby 40. In my mind it was from comedy earnings. I think that I am funny enough to make it, I simply have to put in the effort to promote myself. We can only hope.

Winston headliner fools

So ya I headlined Winstons last night. It was awesome. It was my 7 month and 1 day anniversary of doing comedy and it was a special show. I had a few of my friends open for me and some gal named Lacy Lowrey opened for me. She's amazing. By far the funniest female comic I've ever heard. I hate saying female comic, because she is a damn funny comic period. SHe is really busy and doesn't get to perform much but I wish she would because she has potential.

Anyways back to me. At first none of my friends were showing up. I was a little worried, but I told them to come at 730, and shouldn't have informed them I was going on at 830. Most of them showed up at like 815. Either way they came and I appreciate that. It's really hard promoting shows and it's awesome when people come. I made over 200$ which was really cool. There was actually a lot of people there that I didn't know. I went on facebook and mass added people from Ocean Beach's fan page. I don't know if any of them found out about it from that. Either way it's really cool it was so packed.

On stage to be honest I didn't feel I did awesome. I felt like a few of my jokes were getting the punch I had thought they would. I would say only one of my jokes failed which is cool. I'm editing the tape now, I'm prolly gonna have to upload it in 3 or 4 parts. I hope you'll like it. I'd rate it a B. I stumbled a few of my jokes, and someone in the audience actually asked me how many jokes did you screw up? That was pretty weird, I did mix up a couple but for the most part I played it off well. I really hope my sister can book me at her college next semester because that would really help me take off. It prolly won't happen because nothing good happens to me, but I'm hoping. I would book a few more shows around Maine, and it would be cool to perform in front of all my friends and family back there.

Here's the videos hope you like them.

No Winston's/ Madhouse Sunday

So I missed Winston's for only the 3rd time since I started comedy back in April. Kind of weird timing as it was the week before I'm headlining and I was suppose to host. I got quite sick and didn't leave bed all day. I felt bad for not being able to make it, but I was feeling awful. I won't get into it, but know the people you are consuming food and drinks with.

Did the madhouse Sunday. It was the innagural comedy class showcase. It appeared one of the people didn't show up for their show. That is crazy to me to pay all that money and then not actually get on their show. I have no opinions about comedy classes, they are not for everyone, but they can definetely help some people. Like I could use a spelling class.

Anyways, the show started pretty slow, as in there was only about 10 people there at 745. I was quite worried we were going to have a small crowd, then all of a sudden a bunch of people showed up. That was cool. I went off notepad for the first time in awhile. I still wrote things on my hand but I couldn't read them anyways. I had 8 minutes, and did end up skipping one joke. I had a pretty good set. One of the comedy buddies taped it so I hope I can get it soon. Laughs at a comedy club are so much louder and better heard then a bar because of the tight atmosphere. I felt I did pretty well. One of the dudes that run's another room said I had some funny stuff. He didn't ask to book me at his show, but I guess he noticed me which is a start. I did kind of dirty set but I don't think I said any real swear words to be honest.

Welp I'm gonna watch some tv. The guide isn't working so I'm going to have to hunt around like some kind of caveman. How lucky I am to live in this era.

Jokes: Lies, Gf lies/ questions, 3 yrs single, pulling out, condoms, gf cheered during sex, old women, planned parenthood, sperm banks, handjobs.

Madhouse Monday/ Tuesday

Monday show was pretty dead. We didn't start until after the game ended, which was about 830. Luckily there weren't many comics there so I still managed to leave by 1015. I didn't really feel like going on, so instead I spoke with another comic and we just got on stage and work shopped some of my new/ not polished jokes. It was kind of interesting. I've been doing some jokes about Jesus I'm not sure if they're over the top. I think theyre funny but a lot of people think highly of Jesus.

Tuesday wasn't much better. It was a long show. We had a lot of open micers and we had some other ppl pop in. Some dude that was Comedy Central, he was pretty funny. Had good stage presence and overall zany persona. I am working on figuring out what I want to do for my headline show. I did about 8 minutes of it. I think every punchline went over well with the 4 ppl in the crowd.

Jokes: How are you (complete), Intervention, reality TV, TGIF, theme songs, nintendo, oregon trail, facebook.

I then went over to a friend's house. It's a lady who is quite pretty. I can't gauge whether or not she is interested in me, I'd guess no, but I don't think any attractive gal could like me. Anyways one of the coolest things happened last night. It was amazing and cool.

Winston's 10-23

Pretty solid crowd, pretty much everyone did good. I didn't feel like I did that great. I planned on doing a set and some ppl from work came so I decided to do dirty other stuff. I rapped which was weird. Oh well only 2 weeks til I headline. I hope a lot of people go and I make dollar bills ya'll. Here our the promo vids I made.

Jokes: Herpes comm, planned parenthood, sperm bank, hand jobs, old vadge, date a lez, , rap

Madhouse 10-21

Pretty decent show last night. Small, mostly comic crowd. My pants were pretty loose so I decided before I got on stage I was going to ask the dude that brought me up for his belt. It's a funny little thing and the crowd seemed to like it. I had a few beers before I went up. I rarely do that, but I was offered free drinks and god knows I don't pass that up. I wasn't drunk at all, I just was a little more relaxed. I told a few stories that I worked on and will do again on Friday at Winston's. I hung out after with a few of the other new comics. I think the 4 of us are the next SD generation. Not sure they feel the same way, but when I started 2 of them were the ones I saw that had a future. The third guy started a little before me and he has progressed a lot.
There's a kid that has been talking to me a lot of getting into comedy. As much as I can give him, the only piece he needs to hear and do is get on stage. I still regret not starting when I came out here 3 years ago. Who knows where I'd be.

Jokes: Surgeon general, herpes comm, costly booze, drunk movie reviewer, spiderwebs, pot

Bad shows

Wow I sucked at Winston's Friday. Maybe I wasn't funny, but honestly the crowd was bad. I have been doing really well there but this show was awful. I mean most of the comics did pretty bad. I don't get why people would go to a comedy show and just stare at someone. I'm listening to my set now, and possibly I wasn't funny. Who knows.

I did the Comedy Store this evening before I worked the door at the Madhouse. There was no one there, but I did ok. I left and headed over to the Madhouse. It was a cool show to be at as there was almost 200 people there.

Anyways here's the video, not sure why I'm even posting it.

Jokes: Homeless, wishing wells, variety packs, pretzels, planned parenthood, sperm bank, not tough, oregon trail, tgif

Madhouse Tueday

Wow I thought last night was rough today was the worst. No one even laughed. Maybe I sucked.

Jokes: Impressions, lazy eye suicide watch, car alarms, jesus cross 3 yrs single, hand jobs, condoms, pulling out

Madhouse Monday

This was my first time doing the Madhouse on Monday. It was quie a small crowd. The show started after Monday Night Football. The only group that stayed the whole time did not want to laugh at all. I've realized with these types of crowds you have to keep it dirty. They don't want to think they just want to hear edgy stuff. I guess I did ok. I went outside for a bit and overheard someone say "he was the funniest one." So as a human I made sure I spoke to that person so he'd tell me I was funny. I know it's lame, but the acceptance of random people means a lot.

I have been moved from new talent to the talent part of the show. That is cool, but there will be about 5 people in the crowd when I go on. No worries, when I'm up there I just want to try some stuff and if you can make 6 ppl laugh you're doing comedy right. I will also be able to do shows on Wednesday and Sunday. Things are progressing nicely. I want to go to some colleges and try to book myself for next semester. I'm going to wait until I headline and use that tape.

I took 2 days off from the gym for the first time since Thanksgiving. I have been extremely busy lately. I like it. Still drinking too much, oh well it calms me down and helps me sleep.

Jokes: Theme songs, online dating, planned parenthood, sperm banks, spell check, google, home depot, can I be honest, intervention

Short comedy

Did a quick set at the Comedy Store last night. Went over early and got on the alternates list. My set went ok I guess. The crowd wanted to laugh but it seemed they wanted dirty. I'm trying to work on crowd work and it's a learning process.




Jokes: Bathroom attendant, Lifesavers, pretzels/ party mix.

Winston's working Madhouse

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Madhouse new talent

Welp did the new talent night again. I went up pretty much last. There was a decent crowd. I think they need to try to keep the audience tighter together, to act like it's a bigger crowd and youre not hearing random laughs from around the room.

I did pretty much all new stuff. I once again did my nervous, weird pacing thing. I think it went really well, and I'm kind of creating a persona, unintentionally at open mic shows. I'm not sure if I'm nervous, or not comfortable with the material. I got some good laughs, and got some solid ideas for material. I'll give my set a B+.

Jokes: hand jobs, 3 yrs single, pulling out, condoms, delicacy, pretzels.

Madhouse promoting

Well I did the Madhouse tonight. I was the promotor of the show. I hate doing it, but it's an important thing with comedy. I was pretty worried, because at 830 I only had 3 people there. But around 20 people ended up coming so that was awesome. I did pretty good. Some of the comics said they enjoyed me so that was cool. Gaining a comics approval is the hardest thing to do. I'd give the set a B. I didn't go into the awkward choppy pacing. I felt good up there and think most of my punch lines hit.

On a side note. I HATE PROMOTING. I hate having to ask people to come watch me and pay for overpriced drinks. I hate the fact a bunch of people said they were going to come and didn't show up. If you're not going to come just say it. I can't say thank you enough to the people that showed up.

Either way, here's the video. Hope you like it.

Jokes: How are you (complete), intervention, lies, nintendo, getting older, home depot, typewriters, costly booze, cigatettes 10 min

Winston's Ocean Beach

Ran the show again last night. I really like the extra responsibility. It makes me feel somewhat important and like I'm doing my part to help the comedy. It's so crazy how much I've learned just about aall the ins and outs of comedy since I started. You can see the excitement and fear in a new comics eyes. It's fun to watch.

There was a pretty good crowd last night and I had a pretty solid set. I'm not sure if it was the spot I had or if I simply was funny. I'm still doing that kind of slow awkward delivery. I think it works but it's so weird how it just starts while I'm on stage.

I will be headlining Winston's on Nov 6. That will be pretty cool. I plan on doing at least 20 minutes. It's weird because I feel there is a couple people I'd like to ask to be my opener but I don't know how many of them would pick me, and if I pick them how many other people I'd piss off by not picking them. I think I'm just going to go with a girl I told to come out last night. She is quite funny and can bring an audience. Also, she's an outsider so I'm not going to piss anyone off.

Jokes: Lying, mirror break up, self porn, girl cheered during sex, speed dating, bathroom attendant, spiderwebs, soap in mouth, getting older. 7 min 30 sec.

Madhouse and akward lady encounter

So I went on at the Madhouse. I talked to the host guy last Friday but he forgot to put me on. He was nice enough to put me on. I basically got lost and angry on the way there, so the tight planned set I intended to do went out the window. I don't know why but for the 2nd straight week, I had an fast nervous delivery. I didn't feel nervous I just delivered it that way. I did ok, haven't graded it in awhile so I'll say a C+. I tried some new jokes and tried to work out some old stuff. It was a really small pretty much comic only crowd. When I left at 9 there was maybe 6 people in the audience. I feel like I should stay and it looks bad when I leave but I just hate hanging around watching comics work a room of 7 ppl.

So the weird encounter. I have been training up north the last coiuple days and tomorrow. A girl I used to date lives up there and were still friends so I figured I'd stay there. It seemed she didn't want me to go, but I told her to just tell me. She said she had a few friends over, which I wasn't too concerned about. I get there and find out the friends are dudes. Not a big deal, wasn't trying to make any moves but it was pretty apparent I wasn't wanted there. So I just watched so tv on her computer in her room. She ended up never talking to me, and just sleeping with one of the dudes in her living room. It was really strange and next time when I sense it will be weird I will trust my judgement.

Comedy Store

I finally made the open mic list at the Comedy Store and they put me up first. I was a little worried because first is always tough and there was very few people there. I ended up doing really well. I stuck around for a few more hours trying to talk to ppl. I spoke to another open mic dude who I thought was good and invited him down to Winston's on Friday.
The dude that made the comment about me needing hosting work was there and was pretty nice. He told me to come back and he'd put me on the alternates list. Unfortunately I have a show at their rival club. It seems if I put the effort in I could break into their Sunday and mid week crew.
I went through my material today and discovered I have a solid at least 30 minutes. I'm going to do ten minutes Friday at WInston's and a different 10 minutes at the Madhouse on Sunday. I'm slowly getting set, I just need to get lucky one time.

Hosting/ running Winston's

Hosted Winston's for the 2nd time last night. Ran the show for the first time. I enjoyed doing both. I didn't do many jokes but that's fine, I'll have plenty of time for that. I was going to do some time until I got a kick in the stomach from one of the comics I thought I had good repour with. He's a rather short comedian who followed another short comedian. I brought him up as "Let's bring up another funny tiny comic." When he got to the stage he didn't shake my hand and said, "You have a lot to learn about hosting." I guess he's right, but it was just kind of a wake up call and hit me pretty hard. He told me after he was just kidding, but I'm pretty sure he was serious. With people that have been doing comedy for a long time, they take things pretty seriously.
Anyways, running the show was cool. I like being able to give people a chance to be funny. There was a good crowd. They were mostly coming to see the headliner, who was one of the founders of doing comedy at Winston's. He started off really strong, but it's really difficult to hold a bar crowd's attention for 40 minutes. I talked with the guy that I'll be helping run the show, and we want to limit the headliners time to 25 minutes max. I think this will give a lot more time to more comedians and make the show run smoothly.
Welp I'm off to work for the 4th of 11 straight days. I don't mind it, I enjoy the people that I work with. Comedy store tomorrow, bigish show at the Madhouse next Sunday, well see how they run it.

Madhouse

Decent show tonight. Really small crowd, mostly comics, some people trickled in later. Fot the second week in a row I followed a guy who did a crack baby inside a mother and Hitler impression. Nothing is more different from what I do then that.
I got up there and started off really rough, stumbled my words a lot. I turned it around and ended up doing pretty well for a small crowd. I felt like my pacing and focus was a little off but people were laughing so that's always good. I did some new jokes and they worked that's always a good feeling.
Welp I'm going to play with my new computer a bit, maybe I'll try out the webcam.

Bought a laptop

Finally broke down and bought a laptop. Wanted to cap my spending at 500, but paid 550$. Not bad. Crazy how inexpensive they are. They try to have you buy a 3 year warranty plan for 250$, half the price of the computer.
Life stuff is going well. Making friends and hanging out. Still no lady but I'm making headway so that's a start.
And comedy. Been pretty busy. Had two shows last Friday. Both were pretty crappy, oh well. I did one last night in Coronado. It was an ok crowd, it was a bar which is always a tough sell. I did a lot of dirty jokes, and people seemed to enjoy it. Some people dide really poorly, and a couple guys did really well. I need to try to pick up the energy for the bar shows, which is tough because most of my jokes are dry and smart. But I'm working on it.
Also took a huge step in the comedy career. Winston's my Friday night spot, that I've only missed twice since I started in April asked me to take a bigger role in the show. Well I more put myself out there. I will be involved in booking the talent and running the show. It could be a lot of responsibility for little to no money, but that is basically what I had when I ran GTV in college. I've been trying to run a room somewhere, and Winston's is the perfect spot. I want to change some things around and try to help local comedians break through. I hope it can be a success. I'm going to start taping more of my shows again. It was tough without a computer.

Competition blew

Not sure why I thought the comedy competition was going to be a big deal. It sucked. I knew whoever won brought the most people. But the dude that won is a nice guy and I was happy for him. There was some big time band on after the comedy so much of the crowd was just there for the band and had no interest in hearing comedy. I should go to the Madhouse tonight and tomorrow but I just don't feel like it. Kinda getting burnt out a little, maybe I need to take some time off. Who knows.

Comedy Competition

There's going to be a comedy competition at Winston's tonight. It's kind of weird to do a competition at a club I do every week. Esp. considering there's always the same comics. There's going to be one winner and a lot of jealous comics. I wouldn't say I'm the jealous type but I am quite tired of watching comics who either steal jokes or just plain arn't funny getting better gigs than me. Yes I've gone pretty far in the 5 months I've been doing it, but it makes me sick the time and effort I need to put in simply to get booked.

I basically need to sit outside and be a door man for no money at these clubs to get booked for the shows. I really don't have the patience or the time really to be doing that. If I was still unemployed it would be a different story, but I want a life outside of comedy. I don't want to be there every night hearing the same jokes, from the same semi talented comics. There are definately a lot of comics much better than me, but even they are doing the same jokes night in and night out. I guess I didn't realize the sucking up I'd have to do just to have the opportunity to make people laugh.

I guess I'm just bitter and maybe too competitive. Hopefully I can have a good set and at least place in this thing at Winston's tonight. Either way I'll keep with it, hopefully good things happen soon. My time table is ticking.

Ups and downs

Had one of my best sets at WInston's on Friday. They put me up 3rd to last and let me go for about 10 minutes. I had a friend come watch who'd never seen me before and he said I did well. The headliner for the night even came up to me and said I was funny. That was a cool feeling.

Then Saturday I did the Dirtbag show, which was ten dollars for all you can drink beer and wine. It was really hot and kind of a tough crowd. I did ok. Not sure the promotors liked me too much so we'll see if I get back on that show.

Life has been going ok, still too much drinking. There's a comedy competition at Winston's Friday. I'm trying to get some people to come as it would be awesome to win that. Not only for the money but the title. One of the comics is telling me I need to stop being so competive and that comedy takes awhile to break into. And although I realize this I just want my break to happen now. Oh well. Still no laptop, but we don't have cable or internet at our place anyways.

Small show

Did a quick set at the Madhouse Tuesday. Small crowd but all my jokes and everyone laughed at every punchline. It's a good feeling to kinda "kill" with a crowd of 10. Wrote with a fellow comedian for 3 hours today. Good experience and got some workable material.

Fun weekend

The Winston's show Friday was a little different. There was only about 7 comics and we all did about 8 minutes. The show started late and most of the crowd was a carry over from the football game. They responded ok to the comedy portion but a lot were either already drunk or just talking. I did 50/ 50 new and old jokes. I think I did ok. I was a little drunk so I think my pacing was a little off and I was talking too fast.

After the show I headed over to a friend's pad to play some poker. After getting unlucky to start I ended up chopping the money with one other dude. The next night I went over to someone else's house and played more poker. I ended up tying for first again. I should probably just play it out but I'm not going to upset people over 50$. Last night I went over to some coworkers house to have some drinks. I didn't drink too much but had a good time.

I am now sitting in the library catching up on my interest stuff. I still haven't gone to get my computer fixed I'm a little worried they're going to tell me it's either unfixable or gonna cost more than it's worth to repair it. I got a lot of life out of it, but all my pictures, writing and software is all on there and I'd like to retrieve it. We'll see.

Sucky life

Wow a lot of crappy stuff has happened lately. Last Monday I was parking at my new place, when I hear my tire pop. The city is doing some irrigation and have bolts sticking out. That sucked. Than My laptop roke this Monday. And on Wednesday I return at 11 at my old pad to find out they turned the lights out. Can't wait to be done with those clowns.

Not much comedy being done. I'm going on at Winston's tonight for a 7 to 8 minute set so that will be joyfull. Other than that I've been making some friends through work. Which by the way is only going to be giving me 24 hours a week. So I guess I'll have to find another job. So ya my social life is improving but my own life is going poopy. My Dad did give my 500$ so that was really nice and the money will go to good use. Hopefully I can get my computer fixed as I have a lot of pictures, music, and writing on there. I'll take it into the shop on Monday.

Hosting at Winston's

SO I hosted my first show last night. It was an honor just to be asked to host. It was a little difficult to figure out how to host. You want to keep the show rolling and try to tell some jokes in between. I did maybe 3 or 4 actual jokes. For the most part I just made a humorous observation about each comic. It's tough to be a host esp. when most of the crowd is comics as they don't want to enjoy you. I didn't get that many laughs, or maybe couldn't hear them as a lot of the crowd felt it was ok to talk while I was up there. I'd give my hosting skills a C.

One of the cool perks of hosting is I get to drink for free and I made 20$. Not a whole bunch of money but a step in the right direction. I still have not heard back from the apartment complex so at this point I am homeless in 8 days. Hopefully I hear back soon as I have to start moving my stuff out.

Madhouse

Performed for the first time at the new club, the Madhouse. It started off pretty bad, as I thought the show started at 8 when it really started at 7. I then thought I had ten minutes when I only had 5. I didn't realize that until after my set, as I ran the light by about 3 minutes. I felt pretty bad, as it was my first time at the club and running the light is a douchebag move. I was doing pretty well so they weren't too angry but I am still new and need to follow the rules.

My set went well until the end when I stumbled over my words. I have a problem with this, as my mind is always running rapid and I sometimes mix words together and it sucks. I didn't end up taping my set because of showing up late. Wish I would have because there was a decent amount of people for a Tuesday at 7 pm show. An established comic I'd never met before said I did well so that was nice.

Life stuff. I can not wait to move. My roommates and so called friends are selfish, lazy, jackasses. I lost my house keys on Monday, and not one of them returned my calls or made any effort to help out. I will not pay a cent when I move out of here and probably never talk to any of them ever again. Kind of crazy considering one of them had been my best friend for ten years. The kid has changed and doesn't even realize it. Whatever. This city changes people, they are so self absorbed and only look out for themselves. Pretty sad. I blew out my tire and my new room mate was nice enough to help me change it, but help I mean he did it all as I'm a poor excuse of a man. That restored my faith in humanity a little bit, but I still don't trust anyone out here. I hope to stay out here but as of this second the plan is to move back to Maine in March. There are two ways I'll stay. One is if comedy really picks up and I get booked for some paid gigs by then, highly unlikely. Or two, I meet a girl that knocks my socks off and makes San Diego worth staying. Everyone tells me I can't look for a girlfriend it will just come. Well I've dated a lot of girls since I've been out here but nothing has really worked out. I like being in a relationship and would love to have one here. Nothing good ever happens to me so it probably won't happen. Whenever I think things are turning around something crappy happens. I just want to be happy for awhile.

Winston's chuckles

Well I did a set at Winston's tonight. The host gave me almost 9 minutes. That was pretty cool. I did ok in a comics only crowd. One of the comics spoke to me after the show to work on another show. Nothing feels better than getting the approval from another comic. I wasn't real prepared for my set tonight as I went there after work and my shirt was stained. I went to a bar after, it's crazy how many adult beverages I can consume before it affects me. Nite night, I give it a B-.

Oh and I didn't get the Improv gig. Kinda sucks, but I figured I wouldn't. Yet another San Diego setback. I'm moving out of my place in the next 2 weeks. I have to try to convince someone to help me move.

Improv audition

I had an audition to join the National Improv Theatre Company. There was a lot of people there, probably 40 or more. So there was not only a lot of competition but no one got much stage time. I think I've said it before but Improv is one of the only things in life I truly I believe I've good at. I've always been good at being funny in the moment.
The audition went sub par, I hadn't done it in awhile, and I'm much better with being naturally funny as opposed to being a character. I think they were looking more for overacting theatre types, which were abundant. They were louder than everyone else and just tried to talk over one another. Improv is more about being a team and feeding off one another. I think I did this well, let's see if the people making the decisions noticed it.
For those who don't know I've been on quite the gym kick since last Thanksgiving. I've missed maybe 10 days total since then. It wasn't that hard to go everyday when I wasn't working but I've continued since I've started working. I'm not working quite as hard, burning 500 calories instead of 1000 on my cardio days that I work. I'm finally under 180 for the first time in at least a few years. I got over 195 at one point. If I could stop drinking I could lose a bunch more weight as I only eat 2 meals a day. I'm usually hungry a lot, but it takes me little food to get full so that's good, considering I don't have much money and I'm trying to lose weight.

Funny People movie review

I loved Knocked up, I felt Apatow did a great job mixing comedy and seriousness. But this was the definition of a sell out. They pimped this movie for a week on Comedy Central, only for it to be a zero percent comedy. I knew going in what to expect but I wanted at least a little more comedy. They hyped up that Randy dude, only to see him onscreen for maybe a minute.

Really what was the message of the movie? Don't go after your dreams, simply be happy with the the first girl that makes you happy. Typical Hollywood crap. I was hoping they'd take a chance and have Sandler die or at least focus a little more on the struggle comedians go through.

This movie would have been much better if a no name actor was in the leading role, but the fact they used some of Sandler's actual stand up footage from when he was younger and then tried to tell some corny story about living each day was awful. Maybe I can't lose myself in movies like some people, but this movie had a lot of potential and took the longest, worst road they could.

The movie was 2 and half hours long. Had the leading director in comedy at the moment (Judd Apatow), probably two of the biggest up and coming actors in comedy (Judah Hill and Seth Rogen), and Adam Sandler who's be dominating comedy for years, and dealt with the hardest aspect of comedy, stand up. And instead of taking a chance to give the public a look into the world of making them laugh they choose to waste the talent and do another "I know what's going to end up happening" Hollywood clunker. Waste of time, waste of money, waste of talent...

Roller coaster that is comedy

Only one show this week. Although I went to the new comedy club, The Madhouse's opening. It was a good show. They intend to do comedy 7 nights a week, which would be great, but I think it will be very tough to bring in a crowd. It is very difficult to find and like Brick by Brick, there will rarely be any walk by audience members. It seems like it is totally run and operated by comics so let's hope it works out. I will perform for the first time on the 17th.

I will be attending an improv comedy audition on Wednesday night. That is where I started comedy, and think I enjoy it more than stand up. Improv is one of the few things in life I think I'm good at, so let's hope the audition goes well.

Life stuff. One of our roommates who hadn't paid a cent in rent and had been staying in one of the bedrooms decided on August 1st he was moving out. This was when he was suppose to start paying rent. A pretty awful thing to say. So we went from splitting the rent 6 ways, to 4 ways. I am now thinking about moving into a studio apartment by myself, or finding roommates off of Craigslist or some other site. I don't really like the idea, but I've gotten screwed over by people that were suppose to be my friends, so I guess it will be easier to swallow from strangers.

Back to comedy. I had another good show at Winston's. I knew there was going to be a big crowd so I brought my camera. Unfortunately I went on before most of the people were there, so the crowd was quite strong. I had a pretty good set anyways, and feel it was my only decent taped show I've gotten so far. Hopefully it comes out well. I'd give the set a B+.

Yay I'm funny again

Comedy is such a roller coaster. The reason I quit poker was because of the emotional toll it takes on you, but as I've blogged about before comedy is the same way. At least when I do terrible it doesn't cost me money. Although I'd almost prefer losing money in poker than bombing on stage. I bombed last Saturday and I wanted to quit comedy. I got drunk and played poker, lost 100$ and it barely affected me. SO many nights in the past I got drunk and lost way more, one night I even lost 4000$ online playing drunk poker. It seems bad, but I should have been up that money. I played head ups against a guy, and he made an amazing call, that he should never have made, and if he folds there, I'm up 6k.

Anyways my Winston set went really well. I did all old jokes, and they are pretty perverted. That crowd loves nasty. I haven't wrote a new joke in awhile but I thought of a good premise tonight and will write it in the coming days. I'd give tonight's set a B++.

On other notes my Tuesday spot, Brick by Brick is not doing comedy anymore. That kind of sucks, it was a good comic hang out. I can understand why they canceled the comedy, it was a really bad spot and it was basically a comic crowd.

I'm going to try to start attending a weekly open mic at a place that has a mostly music open mic. A few of the smarter comedians I enjoy go there and I need another place to get 10 minutes. I normally hate mostly music open mics, but this place has a clean comedy rule and that's up my alley.

I asked for a dude comics number tonight. It felt kind of weird. I'm so bad at making male friends, and putting people in the "give me your number" spot isn't something I enjoy. He gave it to me but I think he was a little weird worried. He kind of Hollywooded me by saying "You don't have my number yet?" He's a nice guy so I know he meant nothing by it, but I found it humorous.

Observation of the day: Can we stop putting the energy drinks right next to the energy drink alcoholic beverages. I tried to buy a simple energy drink and got one laced with booze.

I'm not funny

WOW, last night was awful. I guess I am not funny. People were talking the whole time, and my jokes were awful. I probably got a little too drunk which is crazy because I only had one beer. I stumbled a few times, god it was so brutal.

It sucks to think I'm getting worse, and more akward. Everyone tells me I need to be confident on stage. Kind of tough when you're doing horrible. What an awful show. I knew it was bad, and then I watched it and it was even worse.

I had to make up an excuse to get out of work, which was lame. Then I felt so miserable and hung over I called out today. My life direction is so messed up.

Oh and to make the night even worse, the guy that booked me told me on Tuesday to bring my "A" material. And then as I was bombing told another comic, "I told him to bring his "A" material." So lame and stupid to say. I didn't watch his set, but some people in the audience did not enjoy him. He was about to cut me off when I saw the host what appeared to be signing to cut me off. I just stopped as I was miserable anyways.

Im thinking about quitting comedy, its so political. I just want to make some jokes and eventually get paid for doing so. It seems like I need to work for years just to get stage time. So lame.
Here's the video, try not to cry.

Winston's

Had a decent set tonight. Did 5 new minutes tonight. I went a little long, and didn't put the patience into my last joke that I had hoped. I was really happy with it, but my pacing was a little off, due to not really done it before and feeling rushed by the light.

It was a better crowd than usual at Winston's, which is nice. There weren't as many comics as a lot of them were attending comic con. I am fine with that I just wish I got a little more time.

It's crazy how I feel worse after a good set, rather than a bad set. I always end kinda sad and shy when a joke hits. A couple comics came up to tell me about it. It's cool they have good things to say and helpful advice. I'd give my set a B.

Well I ended up getting booked for the show tomorrow night. I will have ten minutes and settled on what I was going to do at the gym tonight. It is basically ten different minutes from last time. The comic scout pretty much told me to do my A material. Basically don't suck and do open mic material. I wasn't really offended, just more like obviously I know it's different when there's 150 people there rather than ten. I'm going to record so hopefully I'll get a video out of it. I have to work from 1-10, so I'm going to have to leave early. It shouldn't be a big deal.

I hope I come back with a successful blog, tomorrow.

Observation of the day: Old people... stop working. Seriously if you're working because you're bored, you're a douche. We get it you started working when you were 12 and have a lot of money saved up, let us 20 somethings who need money have you're jobs. Not much of a funny observation, but seriously give it up gramps.

Interesting evening

Had a show at Brick by Brick last night. There were a good amount of people there, but most of them were in the back drinking. There was a lot of background noise and very few people watching the show.

I knew my set wasn't going to great, but it was decent. Did mostly older jokes with a few newer ones squeezed in. I got a few laughs, so that's a plus. I was sweating like crazy up there as it was really hot, and I think the lights were brighter than usual. I'd give it a C+.

I may be doing a show at the Ruby Room on Saturday. That would be really good as I had my best show there. I should know by tomorrow whether or not I get booked for that.

After the show I went with one of the female comedians to a gay bar. Yup. I have no problem with the gays, but being in a gay bar, completely sober is not my cup of tea. It was slightly akward, and she kept talking to people. I think they thought she was my wing man to set me up. We had a pitcher than left. We went over to her place to hang out. She lives in studio, which is small. But she lived there for a year with a male roommate that wasn't her bf. I can't ever imagine doing that.

We listened and sang to some 80's music. I had a little bit to drink so I stayed there. There was no funny business as were just friends. I've never really had a really good female friend, so it may be interesting.

I posted the video below. Better quality than last week. Hope you like it, as it took me 3 freaking hours to upload it. I gotta figure out how to work the thing.

Losing modivation

Ever since I got the Home Depot job my writing has suffered. I haven't written any new material lately and I just don't enjoy doing old jokes. I'm starting to think stand up maybe isn't for me. Although I can get laughs from the old jokes there's really no rush. When a new jokes works it's the greatest feeling.

I did a set at Winston's tonight. They had the lightening round again, and did it twice. I did well the first one, and kind of bombed the second. It was a really perverted crowd so I tried to do a mature joke, it blew. I can't do that, it's just not me. I recovered pretty well but the number one stand up rule is be yourself.

My 5 minute set went pretty well. I stumbled once, but the crowd seems to love a stumble with a quick recovery. I did the how are you joke and my old field trip joke. I barely do that one, but I think it's smart and relatable. I tried a new joke about the show intervention and I think it went well. I closed with my homeless joke, which I haven't done in awhile and it went well. I'd give the comedy overall on the night B-.

I can't seem to get the same awesome set I had at the Ruby Room. Obviously that was a bigger show, but I want to make the leap.

As far as life. I got sun burnt and my chest is itching like crazy, it's really annoying. I'm so lame in the sense, I complain about having no friends and then get invited out and don't go. Oh, and some bastard stole the year sticker on my license plate. So that's pretty annoying.

I kind of enjoy the Home Depot job, even though my feet kill me every night. Also, it seems I'm not going to get 40 hours for awhile. I don't really want to get another job, unless it's a weekend shift at a radio station.

One minute I want to move back to Maine the next I want to stay. I think I'm going to stay until next March and reevaluate it all. I'm not ready to jump back into the Maine winter. San Diego is beautiful, but unless you want to do sales, you have very little chance to be successful.

Blah, Blah, enough serious crap. I should just move back and open a bar. Cheers.

Observation of the day: Why the hell do I keep losing weight in my legs, but my man boobs and gut are still in full force?

Brick by Brick 7-14

Show went decent. There was about 15 people there. I did half new and half old stuff. I think my comfort level is getting much better, I don't get nervous at all. I think it's really key for me to have at least one or two beers before I go on stage now. I don't want to have to use it as a crutch, but at shows when it's a small crowd and half of them are drunk, it's good to have that relatable feeling.

I think it was pretty decent, and the one thing led to another joke really amuses me, even though I kind of screwed it up. My pacing was a little off, and I missed a few lines in some of the newer jokes. Overall I'd give it a B-. Oh and I need to find a better angle to shoot the shows as this one makes my face look like a light bulb.

Bar Prices

So I went to a bar tonight. Got a few shots and then it came to my turn to buy. We were having red headed sluts. The term alone pisses me off from my ex, but I had no idea there price. I bought a round of 6 shots, and the price..... 42$. Are you kidding me? Where do they come up with that price? I almost puked in my mouth and this is why I never go to bars to drink. Even if I was a weathly person I doubt I'd ever drink at a bar.

I bought a video camera today. It's kind of crazy how much they've changed since I ran the tv station. I was pretty much clueless. And I thought I bought a tripod but I actually got a monopod. What the hell kind of item is this? Now I have to drive back and return it. Ya I should have looked at it first but really what the hell kind of product is this?

Observation of the day: Why do most gay guys have a lisp?

Back at it

So I was pretty affected by bombing last week. It's kinda crazy I've done comedy for 3 months and I bombed for the first time last week. I thought for a second about giving up. It's such a long process to make it, and I want my break to happen now.

I've been comtemplating moving back to Maine recently. I miss my family, and I still haven't made any great friends. It's pretty depressing to have no exciting Friday night plans. I'm kinda over the whole partying scene, but at this point I don't know how I'm going to meet a significant other unless I go out and meet people. I'd prefer just staying in, watching some tv, and sharing some wine and laughs. I don't wanna jump into marriage, but it's crazy to think my Mom had me at this age, and I'm nowhere near Dad ready. I think I'd be a great Dad, but you kind of need a lady to have a kid.

Enough blabbing. I went up again tonight after taking a week off. Some friends were suppose to come but they bailed. No worries, I feel bad making them pay 5$ to watch me for 4 minutes. I was a little scared to do new stuff, so I opened with old stuff, and then went into new stuff. It went pretty well. I realized tonight I have so much television material. But, I think people enjoy it so I'm going to go with it. They had a lightening comedy round, where every comic did one minute. I pretty much sucked at that, because it's just not me. I think it was a nice addition to the show. Either way I'd give my set a B.

Observation of the day: Ladies how big are your purses going to get. If you can fit 5 other purses and a pair of shoes in your purse it's probably too big.

Crappy Winston's

Had a pretty bad show at Winston's tonight. For some reason the show was just awful. No one was there, it was 93 degrees in there, and it started off really poor.

I tried to take about 5 minutes from my Tuesday show at Brick by Brick. It went bad, just some random chuckles. I also got my first heckler. There was a group of people that showed up at the bar with no idea there was a comedy show going on. They talked the whole time, and sat in the front row, which sucked. ABout 4 minutes into my shitty set he yelled, "I think your time is up pal." It was kinda shitty, but I rolled with it. Ended feeling crappy, god comedy is such a roller coaster.

Gotta prepare for my important show at the Comedy Palace on Tueday. I'm doing 10 minutes so I gotta figure out what I want to do.

Observation of the day: Has anyone seen the Heiniken commerical where the people are getting a ride in a cab and at the end the tagline is, "Let strangers give you a ride home." Really? I mean I'm against drunk driving, but if you're too drunk to drive you might not wanna just hop into the mustached man's molestor van because Heikiken told you to. This is basically inviting creepy sober dudes to sit in their cars outside bars at closing time. "Hi... get in, I got some candy, and a sweet mini fridge in my basement. " Thank you Heiniken for reversing what parents have tried to tell their kids for millions of years.