Honestly?

I'm not a religious man but I do believe that life speaks to me. I lost 640$ today. I won basically 3 hands in 5 hours. That's amazingly bad. I played pretty solid, just got ungodly unlucky. I made one move against a maniac that didn't pan out then I pretty much missed every thing. The last hand I lost with Kings when I flopped a set to a flush. The money literally means nothing to me, it's just crazy how bad streaks happen.
I try to think why God is doing this to me. Does he really want me to focus on bettering my career at Home Depot? I called out today, I woke up with an awful headache and really didn't want to face humans. I just don't know what to think.
Well I told some jokes at the Blarney Stone. I did ok. I need to get a new half hour from the time I headlined Winston's. I did some new jokes and they went ok. I like my jokes and they went pretty solid.

Hey life, throw me a bone...

So I've had one of my best weeks of stand up since I started. Last night at Winston's was really awesome, minus the fact one of my comedy buds claimed I hacked his joke. He's trying to say basically he owns all "how many (blank) does it take to screw in a lightbulb joke." I have no problem with him saying this, I didn't steal his jokes, nor did I ever hear him say any. I worked with my friend playing the guitar again, and the lightbulb jokes were just a small part of it. There was maybe 75 people in Winston's and all of them were silent listening to us. It was one of the greatest feelings of my life. I also tried two new jokes that both went well.

Also, like I've said Home Depot made me full time, and I have benefits etc, I guess that's good.

And the bad. Poker has been god awful the last 2 days. I can't say I played my absolute best, but I've been getting extremely unlucky. I'm down 680$ in the past 2 days. Everyone is hitting everything, and I can't hit a thing. It's crazy how bad luck runs in streaks. When we first came to San Diego, we won every night playing blackjack, then bang I can't win. EVER!!! If I play blackjack now I lose every big hand I play.

Also the love life. Still stagnant. There was a gal I thought had potential, but she's clearly still not over the last guy she dated. I seriously can't think of the last time I was completely happy since I've been in San Diego. Well to be honest I can't remember the last time I was totally happy in my entire life. If I had to guess it was August of 06, we were playing blackjack. I made about 400$ in 10 minutes, and said I was going to stop because I made enough money to buy my girlfriend a flight to visit. Pretty sad that was the last time. I would have to say I was pretty happy when we were in Maine, and the last time I was in Vegas. I just need to figure out this life thing. It's crazy how one week I'm ready to quit comedy and move to Vegas, and the next I'm ready to quit the depot and move to L.A. to pursue comedy. L.A. is prolly the place to be as it has both poker and comedy, and is even closer to Vegas. I just enjoy the SD weather and like the people I've met so far. I can't say I'm a big fish in a small pond quite yet, but I'd say I'm at least a fish that if caught I wouldn't immediately be thrown back. I just want to wake up happy.

It's official I want to be funny again

Wanna say I had a lame birthday as I didn't do anything with any friends, but let's be honest I'm 27 do birthdays really matter anymore. I got way more facebook comments then I expected. It actually did mean a lot to me as I never post on other people's stuff nor say congrats/ happy birthday. I know in reality it means nothing, but for some reason it was kinda cool for me. I never was a person that needed a lot of friends. In high school/ college I always had 4 or 5 real friends and a lot of people that would call me friend but I could care less about. In San Diego I'd say I have a few friends, maybe 1 that I feel really comfortable with. I have a few more that I think could be solid friends, but they have other lives and don't really need my friendship. Not sure I've talked about it before, but I don't even talk to the person I thought was my best friend. We had a falling out last year, and he even recently deleted me as a friend on facebook. He met a lady, did a lot of drugs, and changed. It's sad but at the same time he was the closest to Kramer from Seinfeld you'd ever meet. He was my best friend but we had maybe 3 serious conversations.
Anyways I hung out with on friend tonight. We decided to stop by the Comedy Store. One of the bookers asked if I wanted to close the show. I said yes even though we planned to leave. I never got a text back from one of my "friends" that I was suppose to meet up with so I figured I'd stay and tell the jokes. I went up kinda late, but felt I did well. I must say it was an easy crowd, and the laughs are so loud there. I told most of my staple jokes, and feel I probably got the light early but I did quite well. I can see now why those guys get egos. I could have said almost anything and got a laugh.
I have a lump in my neck, I did some research and it could be cancer. I'm pretty sure it's not, but until my benefits kick in I won't know. I guess that is a good thing from being full time at the depot. I have been following the WSOP 2010 and really wish I was in Vegas. I think I probably should quit the Depot and focus on poker, make a lot of money, keep telling jokes in SD, and then go to Vegas next summer. I enjoy both poker and comedy, I just feel I need to keep the job at the Depot to keep my father happy. The folks were so happy when I told them I got full time. They have no real idea how much money I make from poker. I live to make my parents lives better. I was talking with a fellow comic last night and we could only think of one/ maybe 2 local comics that have their families in the area. I'm not a huge family guy, but I think it would be great if my parents were here. Ok done being gay, night people.

Do I like telling jokes again?

I'm not sure, but I know I do like being on stage. In all facets of life I would say things are going well. I've been doing well on stage. I think mostly because I'm doing what I want and experimenting with different things. When I first started like everyone else I struggled to get stage time. I didn't really know how it worked and thought, "Hey I'm funny put me on all the shows." I actually recall my first time doing the open mic at the Comedy Store. It was maybe my 4th or 5th time on stage. I did really well. A fellow comic who I learn now picks the Sunday lineup was hosting. I went up to him when I was about to leave, and asked how you get on the best of San Diego line up. He basically shrugged me off and said just keep coming down. Here I am 14 months later and I've only done that room maybe at most 10 more times. c;pser to 5 if I had to guess, and I'm surely not on the best of. I do have a show I am promoting there next Wednesday let's see if that does anything. There was a guy that got stage time there last night, that although a nice guy, and decent comic, I was pretty sure that he got stage time there. I've never seen him at the open mics, and he doesn't come off like the politic playing guy. Who knows.
Anyways last night I was on a show with a guy that is in the semi finals of Last Comic standing. He's a SD native, and has been doing it for 5 maybe 6 years. He started at 17 or so. This was the first time I'd seen him. I've heard mixed reviews on him. Some say he's terrible, other like his style. People have seen him kill and bomb. He did 30 minutes last night. This is fine, as he was the headliner, but whoever booked the show put 3 comics after him.... Not only was this hard enough, but the dude ripped on the club at least 5 times, and even said as he ran the light by 3 to 4 minutes that he didn't care if the crowd left, "who cares about the next few comics." He then retracted by saying people should stick around for the next 2 guys. (there were 3). He just came off like pompous asshole. I understand he may have been playing a character but watching how he acted before the show, he clearly is a pompous asshole. People tried to shake his hand and he gave them a fist pound. Don't get me wrong I hate shaking people's hands, esp. with how gross most comics are, but show some class and shake a hand. One of my comic buds tried to introduce us. He simply said are you a comic, and continued with his convo. I could care less, I simply like to see how people act. Looking at him I imagine he was probably always awkward and picked on, so maybe deep down it's a defense mechanism. He was funny, but I still think there are more deserving San Diego comics.
Wow, watching the history channel, they just said cocaine was made illegal because they thought it was the cause of black slaves acting violently towatds their keepers. And no this isn't a joke. Just figured I'd let ya'll know. And yes it should be a joke, but I don't think enough people would believe me. Honestly cocaine made them angry, how bout theyre slaves...
Anyways. So there was one comic after the headliner then me. I knew it was going to be difficult. First the dude did 30 minutes of awkward tension, then everyone got their checks, and the show had already been going for 90 plus minutes. I had always wanted to get someone to sit on stage with a guitar while I tell jokes. Somewhat of creating the wtf? atmosphere. I gave my buddy an idea of what I wanted to do, but we didn't really rehearse. I told some jokes then brought him in, then told some jokes. If they didn't hit hard I'd have him play a quick riff on the guitar and say something about it. I think it went well.

Hello crowd, hear me talk....

Comedy not much to report. Mostly doing crowd work, as I clearly can't write a new joke. I just don't get how I got a new 10 minutes every week when I started and now can't even think of one joke. I had a show at Winston's and then Blarney Stone on Sunday. I pretty much dicked around. Someone did say I was funny at Winston's so I can't complain.

Poker is going really well.

Long, roller coaster day

Well had one of the longest days of my life yesterday. Worked from 9-6 at the depot then gym then went north to a poker room and played poker. I was doing pretty well, not getting many hands but maximizing value. I was up probably 500$ or so. I was waiting for a big hand as there were 3 guys there that were drunk, bad, and spewing money. I didn't get anything, finally after 5 hours I had my chance. It wasn't against the drunks but against the dude that played super tight and I knew if I could hit something bi he'd overplay his hand. Well here it was I turned a flush put him all in, he called with one pair, and of course hit a fourth diamond to give him a higher flush. This was a 600$ pot that if he doesn't hit his 9 outer I win. I'm pissed but hope I'll still get a chance to bust the drunk tards. Welp 10 minutes later they leave. So instead of booking a 800$ win, I leave up around 250$. It's around 2 AM and I have a meeting at 5. I toss and turn, sleep basically none and head to the meeting.
Meeting of course is a huge waste of time. We sit around and act excited and sad that the store is only making 200K a day but were not on plan. I did get an award so it was cool to get recognized. I then stumbled around to different classes for stuff I'll never remember. After that I tried to sleep for an hour before my friend picked me up to go back to the same casino. We played low stakes for a little bit and pissed some people off. I lost around 100$ in 2 hours or so playing like an idiot cuz the stakes are so little.
We then bought into the tournament. He got knocked out early but I made it down to 12. I played for 4 hours and got knocked out 12 for no money. Awesome. The worst part about it the knock out hand. I had AK and then guy that knocked me out had aces. So lame as the guy went all in the last 3 hands.
I then went home and tried to get a few hours of sleep before my show at 8. I get a call from the promoter at 7 asking if I promoted. I told him somewhat, meaning I told a few people I knew wouldn't come. I get there a few minutes late only to see 2 people in the audience and getting told the show was cancelled. Awesome way to waste my time and make me look like a jackass. I hung out for awhile then went home. My buddy met me there. We drank an adult beverage then headed over to a bar show. I kinda wanted to go up. This is rare for me.
We get there and it's the typical bar audience. Mostly comics and the occaional drunk person. I did a few things that were possibly frowned upon. I walked on stage and acted like I was texting during a few comics sets and even got up and mimmed during another. Looking back it's probably kinda "look at me" douchey, who knows. I then got on stage and tried to do something new, well that turned into having some banter with a crowd member. It went on for a few minutes until the booker basically told me to stop. I didn't really feel like doing a set after that considering I knew the guy was going to keep talking and I wouldn't be allowed to say anything back. I got off and hung around a little more, the show was interesting. A bouncer and promoter apologized for telling me to stop but I understand they need to please the crowd.
I left and decided to play a little online poker. Great idea. I then lost another 350$. So after 36 hours of being up. I went from possibly up 1000$ and doing 2 comedy shows. To down 350$ and making an ass of myself at one bar show. Lifes grand...

I'm a tool...

Had a couple bar shows the last few nights. Thursday was at a dive bar that has a pretty good stage area and could fit a lot of people if needed. I got booked a little while back to co headline the event. I basically told the gal I would have trouble promoting it as it was so close to other shows I'm doing. There was a dude on the show that I've met before, nice guy but does 3 jokes that are almost word for word what I do. I truly don't believe he stole them purposely at least but it is pretty crazy. He went before me so clearly I couldn't do those jokes. I was booked to do 15 minutes. I started off with some impromptu crowd work that went crappy. There was maybe 10 people sitting near the stage that was way overly lit. There needs to be some kind of happy medium with how bright the lights are. I got lit what seemed to be somewhat early. I asked the gal and she said I did the full 15 but wasn't sure. She checked the tape and I actually did 15. I wasn't mad if she did light me early I just felt it went quick. Not all my jokes hit hard but I had a steady rhythm. I did a lot of different jokes. It was cool to do 15 minutes out front of a small crowd and feel it went fast. Some gal came up to me after to tell me they were in the back and enjoyed it. I overheard the bouncer asking for the dudes info that does a lot of my jokes, not sure he wants to book him again, god I'd hope not.

Well yesterday during the day I found a way to lose the entire 400$ I won online from a few nights before. I didn't play bad I was simply extremely unlucky. Time and time again. It reminded me why I stopped playing online. As much as I don't want to question it as these sites make billions of dollars, it's crazy to think I deposit money one night and got pretty lucky, then a few days later getso rediculously unlucky and lose it all back. I stopped and will withdraw the rest and not play online for at least another 3 months.

Winston's show was slow as expected. The headliner was a local guy but I knew he wouldn't promote. One of the guys I had promote didn't at, neither did the gay. The crowd was small but did listen which is nice. I didn't havea chance to do a full set as the dude behind went long and we were over time again. I wasn't too worried other than the factsome dude came up to me to ask if I was going up. I had no idea who he was, but he was sitting with a lady. Maybe one of my friends told him to come see the show, who knows. They left without saying another. I'm still curious who that was and probably should have did a little more time, but sadly I really don't care about stage time. Well that is all for now, all night of poker at the casino tonight and show tomorrow, hopefully there's good things to report.

Holy bomb...

So I bombed last night for the first time in a little while, but what makes this bomb special is that I kind of enjoyed it. I would have stayed up there and continued to bomb but I felt bad for the people that booked me. The spot I did was a tiny bar, I had done it before and actually got booked for another gig from it. I knew this time was going to be awful as there was a maximum of 10 people there, and I followed a high energy dude that did at least 15 minutes. I didn't have the energy to try to win over the crowd. I'm not going to lie I went into planning to do crowd work, I felt somewhat confident from my set on Sunday. But this was a different crowd. They weren't drunk or loud they were simply small and boring. I know it's my job to be funny, but I have no desire to tell my jokes anymore. I am still disappointed with myself that I retorted to telling the Home depot joke. I wanted to embrace the bomb, but felt I needed some kind of laugh. I asked the crowd who they liked and someone said Brian Regan. That made me happy as he is a little known comic, but is amazing. I wonder how he would do in that environment.

I played some poker tournaments today online, did well, made like 400$ in an hour. I watched the first episode of the new last comic standing. I used to love that show, now I watch it and think really? That's what's funny? I dreamt a lot about my ex last night. I couldn't understand why until now. We used to watch the first season together. I used to love stand up even back then. I'd enjoy going to shows. I remember even then not laughing much but just enjoying the atmosphere. It's crazy to have met Dat Phan and seeing how he is as a person and on stage. I haven't seen much of the comics that were on that show, but they're probably doing something. What am I doing? Getting drunk by myself every night, still telling the same lame jokes I wrote a year ago. I lost the desire. I met my peak with comedy. I think poker is my true calling. I like telling jokes, but I think I really enjoyed the friendships I've made more. I was seriously thinking about moving home this year, but the comedy, mostly the people I met, kept me here. I think I need to take a break from comedy and really focus on poker. I have a passion for money. I know I'm funny, but the results are out of my control. I have a few shows in the next month or so that I am tied to, but I think after that it's time to make the move to Vegas and make poker my life.

Week has past..

Well it's been a week since the contest. I'm over the fact I didn't win, but still can't say I'm not surprised I didn't even get top 4. Crazy to think in the previous 3 rounds I had no audience but got 1st twice, and one second. The first 2 rounds, I know I got first from both judges. In the semi's I got a first and a second. Then the finals I get 2 judges that don't even put me in the top 4. This clearly affected me. I know 1st and 2nd was seperated by one vote. I imagine if I could have gotten some judge love I definately would have at least placed. I guess I should have been happy to make it to the finals, but sucks I get one judge that has problems with me, and one that tells jokes that include slow farting, the love of big titties, and hikes up his pants and dances. Real original. Anyways I'm over it, and am still happy for Billy.

Quick life rant. I got a girl's number at the bar on Saturday. I texted her today and she didn't respond. Why the f word would anyone give out their number if they don't intend in speaking to them. People are morons. Speaking of morons I was eating at Jack in the Box today, and while a guy was announcing his order he asked if they had a fax machine? Ya really...

Couple of shows last night. The first was at the Palace. It was the first show since the contest. I knew it was going to go poorly, as the audience was mostly idiots, I went up 2nd to last, and the 2 people before me pretty much bombed. I tried a joke it didn't go that well. I ripped on myself and made light of the fact the crowd was tired. I did pretty ok considering.

I then hopped in my car, drank an energy booze and headed over to this dive bar open mic. I rarely go there as it's always a tough crowd. I like going there and just talking with the crowd. I did pretty good with it. I'm gonna try going more often. I really doing crowd work, it's fun, but I don't really get much material out of it. I'd do more crowd work but at a lot of the clubs the lights are so bright you can't see past the front row. Couple more bar shows this week, more crowd work to come I'd imagine.

Back from Vegas

Well I took a quick trip to Vegas to...well celebrate my big loss. We drove out Tuesday night around 8. I drank a large coffee on the way there, then we stopped half way at a gas station and I bought a couple Monster energy drinks. I rarely drink coffee and never drink those energy drinks. I drank one pretty quickly, then sipped the other one. After about an hour I felt a tingling in my left arm and tension around my heart. Whether I was having a minor heart attack or not I will never know but I definately stayed up a long time. We got there and walked around a little bit. My friend had never been there so it's always exciting to go with someone that had never been. After a little bit we went to a casino and played poker. He isn't that experienced and played pretty poorly. He lost his money and then walked around a little while. I was pretty card dead but played until 10 AM in the morning. I fell asleep around noon and woke up about 3 PM to go lay by the pool. While I'm there I got an interesting call. A show promoter I used to do shows with, who basically never invited me to shows and never found me funny called me. Conversation goes, "Hey Jeff just calling to congradulate for winning San Diego's funniest person contest...." Me "Umm that was Billy" Him: "Oh well Billy's a great comedian, I wonder why I thought you won, well did you place." Me: " Ya I got 4th" I said this for a few reasons, 1. There were some ballots that had only my named checked, which is not filled out correctly and were thrown out 2. more importantly the dude that got 4th is a hack and this promoter "boy" he's on all there shows and I knew if I said I got 4th it would get back to him, and it would mess with there minds. do I care he beat me, at the time yes, now i realize really only 1st matters. plus it's comics that mostly books shows and everyone knows he's a hack. i will keep doing my thing and my break will come. Well the 4th place dude sent me a message yesterday asked if i told the promoter i got 4th. Plan a success. I won't be responding, oh and he also updated his status saying "voted sand diego's funniest person" What a tool. Esp. considering the dude got 4th when i was 1st in the semi's. Not going to continue into it, just amuses me. Will update if anything else happens.

Anyways Winston's show was decent. Small but supportive crowd. I didn't really feel like doing a set, but I did do a few of the features jokes before brining him on. It was fun. I like doing that stuff as it mixes up telling the same jokes. The dude I run the show with even said you looked happier doing those jokes then your own, and it's probably true. We talked about it after. It's so much easier telling other people's jokes as there is no pressure if they fail. I could never actaully hack jokes, but it's fun to change it up. I convinced the guy to do a reverse show next fun, I think it will be fun and be different.

Well that sucked

I'll first talk about the Winston's show Friday. It went pretty well actually. I did a lot of jokes I rarely do and got a good response. I was happy. I then hung out with some fellow comics. There was one dude who was buying a bunch of stuff, and talking to some ladies that were clearly way out of my league. I know my limits.

And now the shit that we all know is the best. I had the contest last night. I actually promoted hard and had a good turn out. I was a little nervous, not because of the contest but more because there were a lot of people there that had never seen me. I started off a little shakey, but transitioned nicely. I was happy with my set. I wasn't as comfortable as I could have been. The 2 rounds I won, I said my name and where I was on the ballot after jokes that worked. That must have helped in some degree. Also, in the previous rounds the judges voted for me. I am not positive but I have a strong feeling neither judge put me in their top 4. That effects where I end up.

I kind of hung out a little bit. Chatted with a few people. I spoke to someone who felt it was down to me and another comic. I watched the final 2 guys and they had pretty strong audience response. So then we waited around for awhile allowing them to count the votes. I thought probably top 3 at least. So then they start announcing names. 4th place is a douche who steals all his jokes. 3rd place is a nice guy, but most his jokes are generic dane cook jokes. 2nd place is a dude who can bring a lot of people and tells black ppl are different than white ppl lets laugh jokes. And then I'm thinking could I have gotten first... nope. Didn't even get top 4. The winner was my friend Billy Bonnell. I was happy for him. When I first started I always thought he was good. He's a really good person and an even better comic. He deserved to win.

After the announcement I kind of just sat in awe. I couldn't believe I didn't even get top 4. Oh and the comic that said it was down to me and another guy, well neither of us placed. She even said she thought that Billy didn't do that great. I was just so shocked with the results. I want to say it makes a difference where you go up but Billy went first so I guess I simply wasn't funny enough. I am still kind of in shock because when we went back on stage and they announced our names I got probably the biggest audience cheer. Clearly I'm not going to say the contest was fixed but I will say the judges vote obviously made a huge difference. I see now why I moved on through the last few rounds without promoting that much.

I'm sad with the fact the people that got 2-4 are such hackey/ unoriginal comics. It's sad to watch basically any comedy central special and see the same material spoken over and over again. I gave some girls a ride to the show and they were talking about how much they liked the 4th place guy (who all his jokes are other people's), and that they liked the 3rd place guy cuz "he was cute." It's just so frustrating to work so hard at trying to dive into different aspects of life besides, "man those ladies like taking pictures, and it's hard being black." Whatever...

Jokes: Tony the tiger, 7 way bra, home depot, smokey the bear, home depot, cigarettes, facebook, how r u, names, directions, can i be honest, intervention, cialis, 100 % american