Brick by Brick

Had another good show, but not in the "my jokes are funny" way, more I think my stage fear is gone. I usually get nervous less and less it seems everyday, but today I was nervous for maybe the 3o seconds before the host brought me on.

I got on stage and felt no pressure or nerves. I got a 15 minute spot, onto which I wanted to do all new jokes. I did about 13 minutes of new jokes, and ended with 2 old minutes. A lot of the jokes didn't do too well, but it didn't affect me. I kept going with it. I think I maybe got 5 new possible minutes. I will rework it and do those minutes at Winston's on Friday. I butchered and cut short a few jokes, oh well. The crowd was a little uninterested. Intervention is such a messed up show. And no I will not give that a new paragraph, I am watching it now and there is a women that hasn't swallowed food in 14 years. Whackos.

But anyways back to the comedy. I was happy with my performance, I'm finally getting that comfort I wanted. Oh and I was completely sober. 2 of my last 3 shows I was a little drunk, but today I had no alcohol. I'm excited about that.

I need to buy a camera to start taping my shows. I still only have one video uploaded and it was from my 6th show, and the nerves were obviously showed on the tape. I sent it to a guy to try to book a show, and he didn't respond. I take it he wasn't interested. It wasn't a great tape so I kind of understand, but I wanna get booked wherever I can.

I scheduled 40 hours now at Home Depot. God it's a boring job. Just walk around all day, my feet are sore. I bought some insoles today so I hope that helps. Also, due to me being a fat ass, my inner thighs chaffed like you wouldn't believe. God this Invention chick is rediculous. Oh and I didn't go to the gym today by choice for the first time in like 3 months. I've been doing pretty good about going to the gym, but I figured I needed a break. Hitting it hard again tomorrow.

I rambled enough, good night Mom.

Observation of the day: What parent thought of putting soap in a child's mouth? My dad found the perfect amount that wouldn't kill me, but would make me remember telling people I had a "shitty day" was not appropriate table talk . And thanks for that conviently placed pubic hair for that extra motifying touch.

Ruby Room

Well the night started off pretty bad, as I got lost trying to find the dang place. I had a few friends attend, I thought it started at 8, so that's when they showed up. The show actually started at 10, and I didn't go on til 1145. The show was run really poorly. It was a variety show, so before I went up there was simply music being played through a computer.

I did pretty well. A lot of people came up to me after and said I did well. I felt pretty good up there, but I was a little buzzed. I really want to make it as a comedian, but it is so hard. There are so many funny people. I think I've been progressing well, but who knows when or if I'll ever get my break. I wanna give this my first A-, but I gotta save those, I'd give it a B++

Observation of the day: Why the hell do porns continue to show the guys face? I don't want to see that.

Winston's

Ahh to be confident. I did a set at Winston's this evening. He's been putting me up earlier and earlier which I guess is a sign that I'm not doing that well. I had a really good set last week and did decent this week, so hopefully I will get a chance to go up later. I got the big show tomorrow, but it looks like none of my friends are going to be there which is kind of lame.

I am starting to feel really comfortable on stage which is nice, but I still am not sure what's gonna work or not and still stumble on some words. I'd give it a B-.

Observation of the day: Who the hell decides what art pieces are good?

My Birthday whooooo!!!

Had a show last night. My first half drunken one. It was at Brick by Brick, there was maybe 4 people there that weren't comedians, so that was a weird show. I did mostly new stuff but wasn't really prepared to anyone of it, so it ended up being pretty much one liners. I did some talking to the audience, but it was an overall different experience.

I worked for the 3rd straight day at Home Depot. This was my first day on the floor it was boring as hell. I don't know if I'll be able to do it as a full time job. Looks like I'm only working 3 days a week for awhile anyways, so I'll wait it out.

I got a big show on Saturday. They expect about 100 plus people, so we'll see. It's in Hillcrest, which is the gay part of time, so hopefully they enjoy a pasty, nerdy white dude. You never know.

Observation of the day: Strangers stop calling me boss and chief.

Roller coaster

Happy Father's day. I called mine when I woke up this morning, he sounded ok. He is basically the negative old man that I am. Seems he wants to retire and get some little job to keep him busy. Whatever makes him happy. But as he's like me, well I'm probably like him, even if everything in his life was going amazing he still wouldn't be happy. I never met my great grandfather but I'd like to know when the negative gene started. I sometimes wonder how the hell my parents met. My dad is business, no gossip, and my mother is the most chatty, cheerful woman on the planet. I guess they balance each other. I don't know if I could stand such a chipper lady day in and day out. Probably have to drink even more than I do now.

And the up and down of comedy continues. I didn't have an awful set, but it wasn't my best. My comfort level and pacing is getting a lot better, which I'm happy about. The crowd was pretty small but I did ok. I made a fellow comic laugh, a lot and loudly, so that was pretty cool. She's a she, and she is a dang fine looking lady. I'd give my set a C.

The open mic host was kinda a douche and that was pretty pathetic. One of the open mic comics made fun of him, which is obviously stupid, but he turned into a dink to the other open mic comics. He said something to the effect of, "This isn't as good as the Saturday night comics, sorry about that." First off obviously not, they're OPEN MIC COMICS. The crowd paid zero dollars, and a lot of people have been doing comedy for a few months. You've probably been doing it for years, and are the host at open mic night, wow, you're really moving up. There's so much politics and kissing up in the underground open mic scene it's so lame. We're all trying to make it, no need to be a douche and turn the crowd away. I don't know I enjoy doing comedy, but it's a marathon not a sprint. Success isn't gonna happen over night, and we all should be supporting each other. Whatever....

So after the most pointless orientation 7 hours of my life, I start training at Home Depot tomorrow. It should be fun. I kinda feel like it's the first day of school tomorrow. I haven't taken this much time off from working since I started when I was 14. It seems I may only be part time, so I'm still looking for other stuff.

Observation of the day: Stop riding your gosh damn brakes, honestly. I think we should get one chance to ram into those bastards without our insurance going up.

Another good set, back to work tomorrow....

I had another good set tonight. It was the first time in a little while that I've had a good set when doing only new material. I'd give the set a B. This is a cool feeling as I'd like to do 10 different minutes than I did at the Comedy Palace when I go up at the Ruby Room next Saturday. I'm pretty sure I can do it.

I have a short show at the Comedy Store Sunday, and then a 10 minute set at Brick by Brick Tuesday. I will probably do what I plan to do at the Ruby Room there. I'll probably do 1 or 2 new jokes but it will be mostly old stuff and the set I did tonight.

Well in real world matters I start training for Home Depot tommorow. I'm excited I guess. I need to get out of the house and meet people. I used to always be really busy in college and I felt I got more done that way. I'm gonna try to continue to do stand up Tuesday and Fridays, and do another day a week. I haven't been writing quite as much, but I have so much stuff I've written that I haven't performed that if I can still write 10 new minutes a week that's solid. I bought some small notebooks so I'll be able to take notes at work. I think I'll get a lot of observational stuff from watching the Depot people. Hopefully I'll wake up in time to get to work at 8. Kinda crazy 2 weeks ago I was going to bed at 8 am, but I've been slowly training my body to change. Well see what happens.

I almost forgot. For those who don't know, I'm a big fan of Jeopardy. Today was the first time in my life that I would have won the show if I was a contestant, and no it wasn't a kids jeopardy, it was the real deal. I got about 15 questions right, and I got the final jeopardy right, when all the other contestants got it wrong. It was probably the most amazing feeling in my life. Normally I get about 7 or 8 questions right, and barely get the final jeopardy, it was amazing.

Observation of the day: Do banks really need that tv to prove to us they have cameras? Are people busting in, "This is a robbery!" "Whoa Derrick, this is one of those banks with cameras, we best get out of here."

Comedy is not easy

Wow crazy night. My set went pretty well, I'd say B+. The crowd seemed easy, but a crowd can turn and be tough at the drop of a hat. The promoter of the show went up after a comic that brought the most ppl and didn't have the set he had hoped for. After him was a comic that isn't that great. He didn't do very good at all. I've seen him before, he's just not that great. He left the stage and basically broke into tears. I felt bad for him. Comedy is tough, some nights you feel at the top of the world, the next it's the pits.
Tonight was a good show, and I got paid for the first time ever. They collected tips and we split them. I made 5$!!! The host asked me to come back which is a good sign. I do wonder how'd I would have done in the later spots. It's just so crazy how one night you can say a joke and it gets an awesome response, and the next night you get nothing.

Observation of the day: Why is a hair you find in the shower so disgusting?

Stealing jokes

So I did a show tonight. It was 3 minutes, and I went up second, it was lame. I stayed a little while, and I saw someone I've never seen before, but I've heard all the jokes. I should have wrote them down so I could remember who he stole them from but I didn't. Now it's kind of bugging me. I asked another comic but he said the guy was nice and wouldn't steal. I'm 84.3% sure he did, but I can't find it. If I see him again I'll pay attention.

I'm already getting burnt out. I don't really feel like I'm getting better, almost worse. It's a crappy feeling. I have a big show Tuesday. If I can have a great set, it could be a big break, if I blow it will be a huge setback.

Comedy = Drugs

It's crazy how as I do stand up more and more I find it more relatable to other parts of life. I am not a drug taker but I am a drinker. As you start drinking it takes you 3 or 4 beers to get drunk, then you need more and more. That is kind of like comedy. When I first started I was happy getting a few laughs from my friends, and it was awesome to make a few strangers laugh. Then it felt like I was really on a roll, and couldn't have a bad show. Then I hit the wall, even if I did really well it didn't feel like it. If I got a huge laugh with one of my jokes I want it to continue.

My biggest fault up to this point is really being affected if one of my first jokes bomb. I am slowly learning that you do need to start with an older joke you know works and end with another good one. That way you start off well and get that acceptance from the crowd and end strong so they'll remember you. It's tough as most sets are between 3 and 5 minutes. Many of my jokes are 3 minutes alone. I need to start reworking them and cutting down, work on some mroe one liners.

Tonight I did a show at Winston's. It's getting pretty crazy as far as comics attending. I got there at 5 and the list was already full. Luckily the host likes me so he put me on the show even though I was 2nd on the reserve list. I only got 3 minutes but I tried to make it work. I eliminated one joke, started off pretty strong but hit a wall in the middle. A big problem of mine is my mind is working so much that sometimes when I try to say a word, 4 diffderent words come out. That happened today and it was pretty poor. I came out of it but it really ruined one of the jokes. I'd give it a C-.

Observation of the day: Why is it so important to kids to get a new outfit for the first day of school? I needed it, now I still wear a pair of pants I got in 7th grade.

Comedy = Poker

Although they are completely different they are a lot alike. They are both very stressful, some days you do well, others you fall flat on your face, and at the end of a bad day you say I never want to put myself through that again but you gotta keep plugging away.

I performed tonight at Brick by Brick, which is simply turning into the Tuesday Winston's. It's all comedians and theyre a tough sell. I'm starting to notice almost a fraternity between the comics. There's 2 guys that are above everyone else and all the other comics are trying to seek their approval. I used to like one of them, but he's gotten pretty full of himself. He's good and all, but there's no need to gloat about it and hope the other comics will line up to stroke your penis.

I pulled the ultimate rookie comic move by changing what I attended to do when I arrived. This is what I did my first show, and it isn't wise. I did a few jokes I've written but never really went over my notes. They bombed, and I still can't let bad jokes roll off me and put on a good show. I did mostly old stuff which is lame. Even if people laugh it's just not the same rush you get when a new joke works. I give it a C-.

I realized that people for the most part want poop jokes, and arn't really excited about the observational stuff. I am gonna keep plugging away, possibly do a show tomorrow evening. I still have Winston's Friday, and I got picked to do the Comedy Store on Sunday. Hopefully I can turn things around.

Observation of the day: If you're putting water into your shampoo container to give yourself a few more washes your life isn't going exactly the way you had hoped.

Messed up world

So I finally got a job offer. Not a dream job, but a job with a decent company, Home Depot. I'll first give you an insight on how messed up the U.S. is. As I said before I've mailed out over 100 applications and resumes and never got anything good. Welp yesterday I decided to fill out applications at Walmart, Target, Home Depot, and Von's. And with these applications I did not include that I had a college degree. Welp today at 9 am I got a call to interview at Home Depot at 10:40. I went in swooned the fella and got offered the job if I passed the drug test.

Well I don't do drugs, so I headed over and figured I'd drop off some urine and move on.. Whoa nelly it's not that easy. First off, the nurses at that place were the most miserable ppl I've ever met. I'd probably hate my life if I dealt with urine all day too, but come on no need to be a douche for no reason. Anyways, I go to give my first urine sample and forgot she mumbled I cant flush the toilet, and did. She wasnt pleased. I had to do it again. So I went out and pounded a bunch of water and thought I could go. Welp I couldn't strike 2. So the pleasant nurse told me to leave and come back in 2 hours. I didn't know the area so hoped I'd find something to entertain me for a bit. I stumbled upon a Barnes and Nobles and figured I'd head in. God they have so many books. Everyone has a book nowadays, and they have a whole wing dedicated to Sci-Fi and comics, the nerds are taking over. So I tried to find some kind of reading material that will hold me over for a bit. I found a Jim Norton book, he's a pro comic who does a lot of edgy material. His book was even more blue. That is a man that enjoys prostitutes. Anyways I skimmed through for a bit and then headed back to the clinic. Luckily I gave enough piss and left.

I headed home and took a nap. I woke up, drove to Winston's, and put my name in. That place is getting pretty popular, for comics anyways. Tonight was 95% comics, and the rest of the ppl were there to see there friends perform. Those\ are very tough crowds to perform for. I went up 19th out of 25 ppl. Kinda cool getting recognized as being good enough to go up later. But I feel a little more pressure to be good. And I always do new stuff at Winston's so I have no idea if the crowd will like it. Plus I have no idea anymore if a joke is funny. I'm so much in the zone in there and trying to spit out everything I wanna say that I don't even hear laughs. I'm gonna start bringing my tape recorder and place it in the back whenever I go on. That way I'll be able to gauge the crowd's reaction. A few comics said I did well but you can never tell. I tell ppl good job whether or not they sucked, so I could be getting the same treatment. I guess I'll give the performance a C.

Observation of the day: Why the hell are your parents so afraid to let you see the restaurant bill....

Decent Day

I got out of the house and actually filled out my first resume. It was to be a server at Dick's Last Resort. It's a restuarant downtown that you get to treat the customers like crap. I figured with my sarcasm, I 'd get a chance to perform and make a few bucks. The bartender said she didn't think they were hiring but we'll see.

I did a music mostly open mic tonight. I went up second and followed another comedian. I HATE doing music open mics. There was a few other comedians that went on. They were pretty much amateurs, one of the guys it was his 2nd time on stage. He was really nervous so it's really diffcult to judge. It's weird being the older statesman now. The other comedians were asking me questions, which is flattering, considering I've only been doing it for 2 months or so, and have only done 14 shows. Comedy is tough, but I like the challenge.

I did all older stuff, mostly the same set that I did the night before. The jokes didn't quite work as well, but people said I did well. I'm really learning which jokes are definate keepers and which are sometimes work sometimes suck. I would have to say I have a solid 15 minutes at this point. And that's with nearly an hour if not more of stuff I've never done before. I will continue to do 4 new minutes at Winston's and slide in a quick joke I know works at the end.

No performing tomorrow, gonna keep looking for jobs and narrow down what I'll do Friday Although I already have a good idea what I'll do.

Observation of day: Not a full observation but if you haven't seen pitchmen you gotta watch it. A dude on there tried to pitch a pad that you'd wear in your underwear that will block odor if you fart. I thought of this in college and think it would be brillant.

Up and down day

Had one of the weirder days of my life today. As I stated yesterday I got a job offer to report the World Series of Poker. Well I found out today it was an unpaid position. I was still thinking about doing it but my friend that lives in Vegas never returned my call. So I paid rent here and I'll be here at least another month.

I applied to about 25 places today. I still haven't hit the streets yet, but I plan to do that tomorrow. It's so frustrating. I've had so many jobs but for the most part they all have been media related. So if I apply to anything else they just look past me. I just want a job, I want to meet people and get out of the house....

I performed tonight. I was thinking about backing out all day as I was kind of depressed but I went up there anyways. I did ten minutes at Brick by Brick. Last show I didn't go so hot so I was a little worried. There were a lot of people there but a lot of them weren't there for the show so they were talking pretty loudly and I was worried that might ruin the show. Luckily they weren't there when I went up 2nd. Unlike Winston's, it's good to go up early at Brick by Brick because that's when there's the most people and they're ready to laugh. I did pretty good, it was mostly jokes I've done at least once or twice, and it went pretty well. My roommate went and she said it was my best show. I think I did well but there's some spots I can still improve on. I give it a B.

A mexican dude came up to me after my set and said I did well. He was a little drunk and talking about how more people need to make fun of Obama. He enjoyed my mexican joke which was nice. He also bought me a shot so I'll consider this my first paid gig.....

The Brick by Brick host asked me to be apart of his monthly show on June 27th in Pacific Beach. It's a Saturday night show and he expects 200 hundred people. So that will be a big show, gotta keep plugging away and narrow down my best ten or so minutes by then.

Hopefully I'll go up again tomorrow night, so I'll let you knw how it goes. I hear there are a lot of drunk hecklers there so it could be rocky.

Observation of the day: I love how everyone is so blown away that Susan Boyle is a good singer. I guess the world figures ugly people can't be good at anything.

Welp still no performing. I got scheduled for every Tuesday in June in S.D. I also got a possible job offer in Las Vegas for a reporting position. Not sure whether it's a paid position or not, I'll know tomorrow. If it is I'm out of here. We've had one of my roommates brothers staying in our living room for over a month. I got into a verbal spar with him yesterday. He's a nice person but we can't be helping straglers. I'm waiting to see whether or not I get the offer in Vegas. If I do, hopefully my friend still has a room open. Other than that I've been writing like crazy. I have to buy a new notebook tomorrow as I'm out of paper. It's a new thing everyday and tomorrow I could call a new state home.

Jeff


Observation of the day: Are there any losing boxers out there. It seems all of them are 36-5 with 28 knockouts. Where do the losing boxers go?