Comedy off the stage

Put in a marathon day yesterday. 8 hours at the depot, hour at the gym, then 8 hours of poker. Anyways I played pretty well. Got unlucky in a few spots, but kept my composure for the most part anyways. Some old dude slow rolled me. Meaning he didnt show the best hand for a really long time. It's a really sleezy thing to do, esp considering he got extremely lucky to beat me. Then another dude played a hand awful and hit a miracle card on the river. I said, "This jackass doesn't know what he's doing." Made myself look like a moron and the guy was huge. I'm a douche sometimes, oh well. Had a few other big hands. I think I made the right plays for the most part.
I had a chance to double up to like 1500$ when I turned a straight with a flush draw. The freakin big stack ended up having a straight to and I didn't make my flush. Oh well. So anyways the comedy part. Two guys were acting like they were buddies. Then one of them guys lucky against the other. Then they play the next hand heads up. There was about 400$ in the pot on the flop. They agree to check it down. Meaning they wont bet anymore money. Anyways they check turn, and then the one guy checks, and the other guy goes all in. It's a real douchebag move. The guy that went all in I guess didn't realize what he did. To be honest I thought he was joking. Then things get crazy. He asks if he can take it back, which he can't. So the guy that checked basically says a few things, then calls him a mother fucker. Then the all in guy goes, "Come on let's go outside." So they do. They both have about 600$ in front of them plus 400 in the pot and they go outside to duke it out. I mean there's two security guards so the chances they actually fight is slim. Everyone at the table is like wtf. Some awful idiot, is like "They left the table the hand is dead we get the money." I'm just shaking my head. I look outside and the mother fucker is trying to lunge at the other guy. After a few minutes the check guy comes back. Then finally the mother fucker returns. They end up giving the pot to the mother fucker. He starts shaking everyones hand apologizing. Then he starts giving people money. It was so weird. I used to play with that guy back when I played a lot. He's actually a pretty nice guy, he was foreign and I guess they don't like being called mother fucker. He used to be really terrible, but he's gotten much better. He lucksacked his way to beating me out of a 1400$ pot probably 2 yrs ago, and I don't forget that. Anyways that's that. 2 shows tonight, hope they go well.

Hello weird drunk crowd...

I was a part of another show at the Comedy Palace last night. The show was entitled "Keeping it Weird." Most of the guys on the show were part of a radio show with the same name. I actually was the board operator for a few of their shows before the station changed formats. The are some interesting characters.
I wasn't a promoter on the show but I was put on the back end. Basically the club adds 3 or 4 comics to every show. The promoters are free to put the comics wherever they like and they put us 3 at the end.
The crowd was decent throughout but they got tired. I was the 2nd back end person to go up and it was about 10 PM when I got up there. It's usually a good idea to keep the shows in the hour and half time. They were pretty drunk and heckling when I got up there. I started off with some jokes then some people starting yelling and I went with that. I tried telling the typewriter and home depot joke with no luck. It was the first time someone admitted to owning a typewriter and then when I started on the home depot joke some mexican started yelling and ripping on me for working at home depot. He said he was an engineer etc. It was fun doing crowd work. I was planning to do 8 minutes but probably did closer to 6:30. I think I did ok considering the crowd I was dealing with.
Work stuff. They are cutting back hours a lot. I only have 16 next week. A customer called me an idiot yesterday and somehow had the restraint to not say anything back. Today I'm cashiering and when I gave someone their change he said, "Arn't you forgetting something?" What? "To say thank you." Ok douche. Then he said something to the effect of he's going to shop at Lowe's and I'll be out of a job. First off loser go shop at Lowe's I could give a shit less. And just because I'm ringing up your shit doesn't mean I need the job. I work at the depot mainly to get rid of boredom, make friends, and get people to come to my shows. Of course I didn't say any of that, but maybe he'll read my blog and realize he's scum.

Hello Palace, thanks for the time

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Pretty People don't like to laugh

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Reality...are you aware of it?

Did a show in the middle of nowhere. It went crappy as expected. I made a few bucks and made a few people laugh so I can't complain. Kinda funny the owner apologized to me right when got off stage. That was a lil different. I think he was also a little scared I was going to get stabbed. Some girl told me not to call her black, and of course 3 minutes into my shitty set I called her black. She and her friends got up and left. I guess she was ready to slap me. I talked to her after and smoothed it over.
Silly silly comics, cockiness is for hacks. Saw some pretty funny comics on a flyer that said "The real" best of san diego. The people on it are pretty funny, but honestly how sad are you to have to put that on your flyer. I know they are taking a shot at another comedy club but grow up. You're pretty much putting down every other comic not on that show.
Another lame thing I saw today was an email from one of the comedy clubs. It was about a change to the way they do their open mic. I didn't read much past where it said it was "the best open mic in town." Ummmmm no it's not, and why the f does everyone feel the need to be so cocky?? I know Winston's isn't the best show on earth but at least I can admit it.
I guess I should explain why I feel he spot isn't the best. I think there are a lot of cliques forming in the comedy circuit. It can be seen the most at that spot. Comics are all spread out and sitting together. The crowd is usually small, and I just don't feel like I really can gauge the strength of my material by doing this spot. When I first started there was a spot that really helped me progress in comedy. The booker was really open and allowed me to do as much time as I wanted. Usually 10 minutes, but I grew so much. I realize this place is much more popular but I think there is no real pay off for being funny. Next week you'll still get 5 minutes. If I could offer them any advice I'd suggest they have 2 or 3 people do longer sets each week. Give them a week's notice so maybe this will entice a comic to bring a few friends along. I know they are still trying to focus on promoting the Wed and Sun shows, but if they could get an additional 10 or 15 audience members I think the show would be much better.

At Winston's if someone is funny I will give them more time. I'm still trying to figure out how to make the best open mic possible. One thing I do know is that I can't be captain nice guy to put on the best show. I think as the summer months approach I want to start the show closer to 630, and limit the number of comics to 20. Some people might only get on every other week, or even once, maybe twice a month. I think people have taken advantage of Winston's, and just expected time. This has led to little promoting, and little respect for me. One of the main reasons I took over Winston's because I thought it would help me get booked on other shows. Clearly that hasn't happened. There was a show put on this week that had basically all comics that I thought I was friends with and was not asked to be a part of it. I really have no clue why I don't get asked to be on shows. I know I'm not a great promoter, but I think I'm somewhat funny. Maybe I'm wrong who knows. But I guess I can't just put people on at Winston's, expecting to get the favor returned. I need to focus on making my show the best I can, and not worry about what everyone else is doing.

Trains going fast..

Well I did another show last night. It was in a small bar, but there were a good amount of people that were there for the show and actually listening. I went up 3rd. Not going to lie I was pretty pissed about the spot I got. I got 10 minutes, and they put me on the show, but I guess I'm never satisfied. There was a couple people on the show that got more time then me, but I need to just be happy. I ended up having a pretty good set. I did one brand new joke, and a joke I hadn't done in probably 6 months. The show ended up going way too long and a lot of the crowd started leaving or paying less attention. I'm glad with the spot I got. I was a little bitter at first but I had a good set and made people laugh that had never seen me before so I'm not going to complain. I need to start being more positive, esp. considering I'm back to playing poker.
Today was a freaking long day. I worked 9-6, went to the gym, then played poker 730-2. I have the show tomorrow in Santa Ynez. I'm not sure how it's going to go but I'm going to hope for the best. Poker was a roller coaster. I was up 300 pretty quickly, then played pretty crappy and dropped all the way down to my last 100$, trippled up and sat around 300$ for awhile. Then ended the day up 350$ I played a little recklous, but made money so I need to be positive considering I made more in 6 hours then I make working 40 hours at the depot.
When I got home I got a message from a guy that is putting on a variety show at the end of the month. He said he had some spy at the show and they liked my set. He asked to book me. I said sure. It's on a Friday so I need to figure out a few more details. It's great when comedy and not politics pay off.

Errr.. I'm back on the train

I tried to take a break but don't think it's gonna happen. First off, wtf is up with some commercials. Just saw a commercial with humans riding a ostrich and they bust in and poke a man. That's awful.
Anyways the show last night was interesting. I had a few people from work that had never seen me, plus the new lady flame there. I hosted and then did a set. I planned all these new jokes to try but felt the pressure to be funny. I did different jokes, but nothing new. I did a pretty racist joke, that got basically all sighs and no laughs. I think it's funny, but it's prolly time to retire it. Anyways I had a decent set. The coworker first said I was funny then said I did alright. He was kind of drunk so I don't know what he really thought. I talked to him today he basically said the same thing. People don't realize how much their words effect a comedian. Anyways, I have some big shows this week, hopefully people think I'm funny.

One year and counting...not real sure....

Ugh, was a part of my first show and did not feel like telling jokes. There is a few factors I'm hoping led to my mood. First I'm back to playing poker. And for the first time in a long time I actually want to play. I used to play because I can usually always make money, but I've had the itch to play the last few week or so. I made all the money back I lost in Vegas. Kinda funny it takes 20 minutes to lose 900$ playing blckjack, 20 hours to make it back playing poker, and nearly 200 hours working at home depot.
Another reason was I was pretty tired. Two nights before I didn't sleep much as I was kept awake in a good way and got about 4 solid hours of sleep. Then worked at the depot. Left the depot went to the gym then played poker until 1 am, came home and had to be back at the depot at 6. Worked til 3 then laid in bed until the show at 6. I usually always go to the gym before shows. It gives me energy and it's kind of tradition. Anyways I arrive and there is barely anyone there. I don't really expect anything different but I feel bad for the people that are first up. I'd much rather have less people and let these people go on when there are a lot at least a few audience members.
As the show went on I kind of had the itch then a weird situation happened. There was a comic on who I've only seen one other time. Nice guy has only done comedy a few times. Well the first time I saw him he did a lot of jokes that were a lot like my jokes, not word for word but very similar. Well he was back and did a few more jokes that were very similar. I don't really think he stole my jokes persay, but it's so strange to hear someone tell so many jokes that are alike. Anyways I mentioned it to the host and he felt the need to say something on stage. I really wish he didn't say anything. The comic asked me about it and I had to play it off like I had no clue. The comic also tried to get on lightning round, and the host turned him away. I felt bad. The comic is a nice guy and brings a good amount of people to the show. If he is stealing jokes it's not going to take him anywhere and it could just be me over thinking things.
Well when it came for me to go up we were a little over time. I only felt like telling one, maybe two jokes. I got up there and tried my not saying anything and maybe ppl will be quiet trick, that failed. I just ramped up the crowd a bit and brought up the next comic. It was a good enough crowd that I should have told a few jokes to get me out of my funk, but I just wasn't feeling it. I need to shake the wrinkles soon as I am hosting a show tomorrow, and have to do 20 minutes on Thursday on a show in Santa Barbara or somewhere near there.
Lastly the reason I am questioning things is the article about me was released. As expected it wasn't great. She kept it real, it was just depressing with all the shows I've done that was the one that was covered. What urked me a little was the fact she brought up the dirtiness of my jokes. I was performing in a bar at 1130 in Vegas on Saturday night. I can do clean, but was smart humor really going to win them over? Maybe I should just stick to what I want to do. I gotta figure it out. Anyways here the article.

http://www.lasvegasroundtheclock.com/index.php/dianne-r-davis-views-of-vegas/516-views-of-vegas-03-07-10.html


Late night edit: I think I've come to the realize why I am thinking about taking a break. I kinda feel like I've reach my ceiling. I've done a college, performed for my friends and family, did a Vegas show, took over my own show, headlined a few shows, had an article written about me. I mean all that's left is TV and that's years away. I've always done things to "beat it." I used to buy video games and play them for 3 days straight until I beat it. When I started playing poker I had no clue how to play. I placed in my first tournament. I then went on to lost basically everyone and plow through 500$ in a week. I slowly started to learn, but I estimate that I lost $15,000 learning how to play poker. And while I have not lost any money "learning" comedy but I've put in a lot of hours. Let's say I've done 100 shows. Each show I'll low ball it and say I invest 3 hours, so 300 hours spent doing comedy. I could have spent those hours working at the depot and made 3000$. Anyways, it's not about money, it's about the challenge and "winning." I don't see what else I can do in San Diego comedy. I'm not gonna get on at the comedy clubs here. Ya I have such a rush to play poker. Comedy is prolly going to be out soon after this week.

Vegas baby, let's blog....

Welp finished up a couple of Vegas shows, trip surely started off well, went real bad, then drunk, then drunk, then should be drunker, then can't sleep.

Drove up Thursday night after working 8 hours then going to the gym. We left S.D. around 8, and got in Vegas round 12:30. We immediately went ot Cesar's Palace and played some poker. I was doing ok chipping up here and there, ran up to about 700$ or so then hit a huge hand. I flopped a set, another lady had an over pair, and a dude flopped an open ended straight flush draw. She went all in, I went all in, and so did he. I can't really blame his play. Anyways there is probably 900 to 1000$ in the pot. The turn is safe, but the river is an ace. Sweet the dude gets his straight, and the lady gets the side pot. So I go from basically up 1000$ to even. I have no luck in life. Anyways, we leave after a little while. I'm up probably 200$ or so. We walk by a blackjack table and I drop 200$ on a hand and win. Sweet I'm up 400$ let's call it a night. Nah that's too responsible. Well to be honest I was done, but Billy wanted to keep playing. He was stuck a little money. He wants me to play blackjack for him. I really didn't want to, but of course I'm pretty drunk at this point, and have been up for over 24 hours, so f word let's do it. I run his money up a little bit then see a high count on the deck. Meaning basically there is a good chance I'll get a good hand. So I throw 200$ down. The other people at the table and the dealer basically laugh at me. I lose that hand. Couple hands later I take anther show, 300$ dowm frigin lose that too. The dealer again laughs and in turn insults my play. When I made all the money playing blackjack before I didn't hit a lot of hands the book says you should. The reason I'm putting so much oney down is because I think high cards are going to come. I'd much rather stay on 14 instead of busting and having no chance. Welp I'm down to my last 400$ and throw that on a hand, fucking lost that too. I mean it's crazy how much money I played playing blackjack before and how extremely unlucky I am now. It literally is depressing and mathematically impossible to lose as many hands as I do. So I went from up 400$, to down 500$ in the matter of 15 minutes. Booze + peer pressure = good game hard earned money. Anyways after that shit show we went in the car and slept for a few hours.

The next 10 hours or so are basically a blur. We slept for a little bit then got up and gambled some more. As much as I didn't want to I took out money from the atm, another 500$, well plus 7 fricking bucks in charges... crazy. Anyways I lend Billy 100$, which I'll probably never see again as he'll say I lost his 100$. That is basically why I never gamble for people. They love you when you win, but feel you owe them the money if you lose. Anways we play some more poker, I'm clearly too drunk and pissed off to be playing. I basically get no hands, then get impatient and throw away another 400$. There was a disgusting women at the table that made 2 awful calls on me. One of the main reason I can't play poker is I can't stand the people. That and I can't resist free drinks. Anyways after this we head over to the Hard Rock and nap for a little bit. I really have no idea how much sleep we got or how much we drank, but that and losing money basically put me in a trance.

After we nap we head over to the first Vegas show. It was about a 15 minute drive from the hotel. The place was in a vintage clothing show that had a stage area to the right. It was a pretty neat venue. There was a good amount of people. A lot were to see a SD comic who's birthday it was. I was suppose to go 2nd, but as he brought so many people I gotta bite the bullet. I really have no problem with it. I and the crowd was clearly too drunk for me to do polished jokes. I basically talked to the crowd for the most part and tried to be funny that way. I did ok, nothing to brag about but under the circumstances I can't complain. I then just sat down drank some more beer and ate pizza. The fact we didn't really eat all dat probably didn't help either. Jesus dog farts are disgusting, random I know but I'm at my buddies place and his little Frasier dog keeps farting. I keep hitting him, but I don't even think he realizes why. Anyways, a bunch of people were going out after, but I was in no shape or mental state to move onto more public events. I feel kinda bad looking back as Christian had to basically bring me and Billy back. He's definately a good comic and friend.

Anyways I wake up the next morning with blood on my pillow, had a little bloody nose throughout the night. I guess drinking and not sleeping isn't good for your body. So we wake up only to find out there is no hot water in the Hard Rock Hotel. Sweet. Luckily I didn't pay for the room, otherwise I'd be pissed. The other guys did there own thing and I headed over to my buddies place who lives in Vegas. I had told him about the show a few weeks back, but lost his phone number. I scrambled a little bit and located it. He was at the dog park, so I took the time to hit up the gym. We then grabbed some lunch and took it easy until my show that night. For some reason they wanteds to leave pretty early. I knew the place was going to be a dive bar, but they felt the need to leave. We get there and the smell of cigarette smoke consumes you. It's so crazy there are still places you can smoke at. We sit at the bar for a little while until the promoters of the show arrive. They are cool. Little whacky, but I expected that. They were telling me about a show they do on Friday nights that's in the back of a sex house. That is frigin comedy. Anyways there ended up being maybe 15 people in the crowd. The were listening but that is a hard sell. There was actually a reporter there that one of my cousins sent to the show. So not only am I doing a show in Vegas in front of probably the smallest crowd I've ever done, but I have the pressure to impress a lady that has never seen me live before. I did ok. My jokes did ok. Wasn't my best show that's for sure. The lady didn't really talk to me after other than, "you should take the mic away from your mouth." So I'm wondering how the article will come out. I did my best I guess, probably I could have had a tighter set, who knows. Well after there I was pretty exhausted. They wanted to go out but I wasn't really in the mood. We stopped at one place who was clearly having a Grease Lightning convention and then headed back. I made a drink, ate some food and tried to sleep. It wasn't easy as my buddies place is 85 degrees and he has 2 frickin dogs that dont stop whining. That frickin farting Frasier dog kept trying to sleep on my lap. Welp going to hang for a little bit then head to the gym and then the strip for more poker. Hopefully I can make a little back, otherwise I may be heading back to SD tonight.