Am I going to ever have a good set at Winston's again?

It's crazy I just can't seem to have a set I feel comfortable with at Winston's. It simply feels like death up there every week. There definately have been more people there since I've taken over, which is nice because that means more money in my pocket. But last night I got no laughs and barely any money. It's like even jokes that kill some other places I can barely get chuckles. All the crowds want to hear is about fucking, cumming, and shitting. I hate doing jokes like that, it's so over done. Can't you people appreciate a well crafted joke. Christ think outside the box. People say it's a comics job to make people laugh. Well if i have to stoop to that level to make people laugh comedy probably isn't for me.

We had some people come down from L.A. One guy was pretty good, but he had been doing it for 7 years. The other 2 were sub par. They had solid stage presence and commanded the audience attention, but all their jokes wee yelling or at the level of an 8th grade male. I mean I know bars are tough rooms but this is getting rediculous. I can't get any steam. I kill one night, then do Winston's and feel like shit again.

Let's talk about egos for a moment. There is one local comic that is getting a huge ego. It's pretty rediculous. We're all at the same level you don't need to act like just because you kiss ass better than me you can entertain better than me. Note to up and coming comics, don't show up for your set 5 minutes before and leave 5 minutes after saying, "I'd stay but I got another set, I got another set." Good for you. I don't really care to be honest. I want to get booked for shows because I'm funny not because I tugged your balls for a half hour and laughed at your jokes I've heard 500 times. Sadly that's not how comedy works, but I will continue to work on promoting myself, and start booking these jaded folks less and less.

Show from last night and show from Jan 3 2010.

Jokes: Smokey the bear, 100% American, What a dick, anger book, gf cheered, hand jobs, pulling out, not tough/black women, speed dating

Couple shows in the books

Got a call on Monday from an unknown number. I'm not one of those douchebags that doesn't answer just cuz I don't know the number so I picked up. It was a comic that has been around the scene a little while. Tried making it in L.A., has done some college tours, even performed for the troops in Iraq. He is the staple comic with a solid 20 to 30 minutes, but is very hesitant to stray from that. Anyways he called me to ask if I would be on a show he was putting on. It was a graduation show for his students. He said "I'm putting you on because I think you're funny." It was cool to hear him say that. At first I felt cool, then I noticed that there was another show going on that night that had a lot of talented comics on it, so who knows how many people he asked before me. He did talk to me a few nights later complimenting me, saying that it's pretty amazing how good me and the 3 other dudes I'm taking on the east coast thing have gotten in so little time. I'll stop being negative nancy and take the compliment.

He teaches a stand up comedy class. I never took one, and not sure how much it would help when a comic is just starting. In the Seinfeld moie about stand up he has the quote "If I was to speak at a comedy class convention I would say, "Just get up there and do it!" It makes a lot of sense. What is funny in conversation doesn't always transisition to funny on stage and vice versa. I'd be interested to take a class now. I think it may help writing new material. But you can't force writing. When I started I used to do so much new stuff, a lot of which I never do anymore. I'm trying to cycle some of those jokes back in. Anyways onto the shows.

First spot I'd done on Mondays where they have an open mic which is mostly musicians and the show is all clean. I didn't plan out my set. I don't know why I do this, it never really works out well. I can never remember my jokes, it's pretty pathetic. I have almost an hour of jokes and I can't remember 10 freakin minutes. It was an up and down show. When I had good jokes they laughed, when I stumbled they weren't forgiving. I had some people say I did well so that's all i can ask for.

Second show. I promoted a little bit. Had about 10 people show up. That's good. I can't expect 50 ppl at every show. I really appreciate when people come. I don't understand why people say theyre going to show and then don't. I did a lot of different jokes, even some new jokes. The crowd was kind of tough, but they were paying attention. It was basically the same as the first show, when you were funny they gave you respect, when you weren't they were tough. I made it through without doing any of my staple jokes. I felt pretty good, ppl enjoyed it. I'm going to try to be happy.

Ahh Winston's why do you hurt me so

Did Winston's last night. It was another packed show. The crowds have been really big but it is kind of hit or miss whether they will follow the show. It's tough because we only have so many seats. When people are standing they are more likely to talk and less likely to listen.

I did all different jokes than I did Sunday. Kind of funny one of my comic buddies came up to me after and was like "You did really well at the Palace Sunday, why didn't you do those jokes." Implying man you sucked tonight. I enjoy doing different jokes even though they may not be as strong. People said I did good after, and one guy said I was one of his favorites. I guess I'm always harder on myself.

I really think I need to stop drinking on stage. It's just so hard to not drink when it's free. I kind of feel like I'm reverse stealing. It's like when I leave a buffett. Am I really too good for free stuff. For a few weeks I thought I needed the drinks to help me out, now I just think it's more of a crutch.

Well one of the comics asked me to be on his talk show on Sunday. That will be cool. I miss doing that type of stuff. Not really sure what's going to go down, but it will be fun either way.

Here's the video. Wish I would have taped the Sunday show, oh well.

Jokes: TGIF, theme songs, typewriters, online dating, getting older, smelling things, gf question, cigarettes, variety packs, pretzels, old vage

Comedy fire

Finally felt like I did really well. I was the host of the show so that's always difficult but I felt like all my jokes hit hard. For the most part I did my regular jokes, I tried some of the newer stuff. I felt ok doing old jokes as the people that came to see me never saw me. It was a little weird cuz the last girl I dated was there along with the new girl I'm dating. I'm still friends with the last one so it's cool. Plus she was the one that broke it off so I'm in the clear.

I was a little disappointed that so few people actually came. Only one person from work showed up. I understand people are busy but with as many shows as I have it's pathetic that some people haven't seen any shows. What are you doing that keeps you so busy? People are dicks, and arn't open to trying new things.

Lastly. Money. I made a little bit tonight, from tips we collected from the audience. I hate collecting tips. I'd much rather charge people 5$ each to get in then stand in a line and guilt ppl into tipping us. It's rediculous esp. considering how much they charge for drinks. I had 4 friends come and their bill was 85$. That's out of control. I'll low ball it and say that eacch person spent 15$. There were around 120 people. So the place made roughly 1800$ from stuff. If we charged 5$ a person that's another 600 bucks. So 2400$. They could easily give us 25% of what they made. 600$, divide by 8. That's 75$ a comic. Not much more than what I made tonight but I didn't have to guilt people into giving me a few dollars.

What the f word.

Most stressful Winston's show yet. First off we had 35 comedians scheduled. Then the dude that I run the show with added about 5 more people. The show is already full now I have to figure out a way to find 30 more minutes to add to the show. It was pretty rediculous. So we had to cancel the lighting round. The old douche that comes to OBC yelled at me. "You have to be fucking kidding me, you can't give 7 fucking people 1 fucking minute each, that's bull shit." I told him to not come back. He then proceeded to give me angry looks and talk to all the other comics.

There was also a comic that tried to get on the show a few weeks ago. He's done shows throughout the US. Which to be honest doesn't matter to me. I need people that will bring audience members. I told him I'd give him time as long as he reminds me during the week. He never did. He called me at like 6:30 asking what time our 6 PM show starts. I told him we didn't have time for him, and that he never emailed me. He tried to tell me he did, but I'm really good at checking emails etc. Anyways I say goodbye. He then calls me 3 times. I don't answer, so 2 hours later he shows up at the show. I'm already stressed out, and now I have to deal with this dude. He's telling me how the guy that ran OBC before had a problem with me. I told him I have no problem with him, please leave me alone sir.

Then I go on stage and basically struggle to entertain some loud douches. I did half decent. I wanted to kill as a few of my friends who haven't seen me were there and I would have liked to impress them. Anyways we close out the show and start paying people. I paid the headliner 75$, which I think is more than enough for 25 minutes. He came up to me after and said I heard other people got 100$. I worked really hard, brought some people, don't you think I've earned the 100$. So I gave him another 25$. He took it. Awesome move.

That felt good

Well I did some jokes last night. My friend and new lady friend were there. There was a decent crowd but nothing major. I did a lot of jokes I never do and a few new ones. I felt I did pretty solid, and a lot of comedians said I did well once I got off stage. One comedian actaully asked me to be a part of one their shows. That was a cool thing.

I really like doing new jokes. I'm kind of pissed I havent't had any new ideas coming to my brain. How I came up with 10 new minutes every week when I started is crazy.

I had a possible show this evening but I wasn't that interested. It was pretty far away and I have a friend in town. He has seen a lot of shows this week and didn't want him to sit through another. He got pretty drunk and talked a bunch about how America is crazy. It was kind of weird. He was always the shy guy but he was preaching to me like a cult leader.

Hey you...shhh!!!

Did a couple tough shows the last couple days. One went decent the other went poorly. To my credit the first spot was booked as a talent show, so there were musicians and people there to just hang out. The 2nd was a bar that was wide open and people were spread out. I could hear scattered laughter. But even doing jokes that normally kill, I got sighs or small chuckles. People told me I did well, but I just felt like dog poo up there. I guess we're all harder on ourselves. Wha urks me the most is the face I headlined in Nov and did 30 minutes. I barely have any new jokes or jokes that I enjoy. I have to really start pushing to do new jokes.

New Year New show

Winston's was packed last night, I made some money. The original feature dropped out, and I had another comic fill in. We had a comic come in from Maine. That was pretty cool. He brought a good amount of people. One of my comic buddies brought a decent amount of people. I'm hoping tying so many people to the show will help continue to bring a good amount of people.

My set went pretty solid. Did mostly old jokes, well did all old jokes. The laughs pretty much dont mean as much when I know the jokes are funny. I have about an hour of jokes I've written and never performed. If I counted all the jokes I wrote before I started comedy, I probably have 3 hours of unsaid jokes. I need to start examining that stuff and at least get some new jokes.

Blog double header

Monday did a show at the comedy Palace. It was only comics there, until some couple came in late, most of the comics already went up. Strangely the people stayed. A few comics went up again. I didn't think the dude asked me to go up again, but he said he did. I wouldn't say I was upset I simply always like to feel like I'm at least a seasoned open mic er. For some reason whenever I do open mics infront of comics I take on a strange nervous comedian persona. I did ok considering.

Tuesday was fun. There was a decent amount of people in the crowd. Right before I went on stage one of my comic buddies told me to try out one of his jokes. At first I wasn't going to do it, then said f it and did it. I then decided to just do other comics jokes. They all knew I was just kidding, and had the comics rolling. It was really fun doing that and mixes things up. I want to do it more. Another comic who I did his joke did one of my jokes. He then said something like "THat's the only joke worth repeating." The reason he doesn't know many of my jokes is because I am always trying new stuff, none of my shows are the same.

Ups and downs

Had the show last night that I was pretty nervous about. I felt like a douche because I said I wasn't going to promote the show. It was a weird line up. I told the promoter I would go up after a dude that is quite creepy and has a joke about rape and piliging. I did pretty solid. I lost the crowd a little bit at the end but I felt pretty strong about my performance.

Then a few other comics went over to this dive bar spot. I tried out some older jokes that I may bring back. I didn't do that great but I tried some stuff and I did ok. All the other comics did better than me, but they were basically just doing old jokes. I need to keep working on new jokes. I still have all kinds of stuff I have written down that I've never done.

I got booked for a Vegas show in March. It's not a big thing, just the travelodge off the strip. It's 100$ and a free room. This will basically pay for my trip there, but it's cool to do other areas. Still working on booking more Maine shows. Pissed all ten or more people from USM never got back to me. I will never EVER give back to that school. They don't ever help their students and now I learn help their alumni even less. People not getting back to me is my biggest pet peeve.

Trust your gut

So we had a show last night at Winston's. I knew we probably should not have had one, but we did anyways. There was very few comics there, and an even smaller crowd. I decided to try raffling names to mix it up. I gave a comic who is about 75 but there every week the opportunity to headline. He was really excited, and although he is not that funny, he's there every week and why not give him a chance. It feels good to do nice things for people at times, who cares what other people think.

I was able to voice out a few jokes, I knew they wouldn't go over well as it was a tough sell I simply wanted to get them out. It's always tough telling jokes when you're the host because everyone just wants you to move onto the next comic. I battled through the night and made a few dollars. It's cool making a little bit of money here and there from comedy, esp. considering my job is cutting my hours down to 3 days a week. I need to start looking for a new job. I think about how cool it would be if I had all the good things in my life at one time.

It's so pathetic that I still think about my ex basically daily. We broke up over 3 years ago, and she is married to another dude. I know we weren't right for each other, but the fact I haven't found onbe girl since then that I'd even want to call my gf is so draining. I meet a girl, I think she's the right one, a week later it's done. San Diego girls are so shady. I have no clue why you'd give someone your number if you're not interested. I guess I'm too honest for my own good.