Wow I'm awkward...

I think ever since I've started doing stand up I've become more awkward and shy. 2 times in the last week girls have bought me drinks after the show. And 2 other gals talked to me. One was with a dude, but basically said "Are you as funny in person as you are on stage." Tough question to answer, but all I could say was, "Not sure, but I am as awkward. Last night, I'm not really sure if the gal was interested but she did strike up conversation with me. She remembered me from a crappy Blarney show. I had a pretty good set last night considering there were max 10 people in the crowd. I started with a joke, then started with why I can't get women, a gal in the front said something and that just sparked me to talk to people in the crowd for the rest of the time. It went really well I'd say. The girl talked to me after, but A. It's weird talking while comics are on stage and can see you, B. I can never tell if a gal is interested in me or just amused by the comedy thing. I asked her for her facebook stuff, but I kind sensed she wanted to keep talking. I'm such a goof. Her friend was there with a dude and she's by herself. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. To my defense I did work at 6 AM yesterday and had to work at 6 AM today, but really I'm a moron. It's like I'm more comfortable telling jokes to 200 strangers then talking to one pretty girl. I wouldn't say I'm a shy person persay, I think I'm just intimidated by pretty girls. Confidence is key and I just aint got the fire. She accepted my friend request so we'll see if anything comes of it. I'm pathetic....

Decent, still not perfect

Pretty decent set last night. Got off to a rough start, but finished strong. They were a pretty dirty crowd. I started off clean and planned to do some different jokes. I switched things up and did some of my old dirty jokes. I'm kind of tired of those jokes. I have been writing a lot, but there was over 150 in the crowd and a few people that never saw me before so I figured I'd bring the funk. I was suppose to get 12 minutes, but got lit early and only did 11. It's not a huge deal, but I don't even think the booker even realized it. The time did go by really fast, but once I checked the time on my camera it was short. It was one of the few sets where I felt I wanted to do more time. Often it's like time is dragging and 8 minutes is perfect, but last night I could have kept going for awhile. Sadly I don't really have anything to complain about. The people that said they'd come came, and even 4 surprises. They actually were turning people away. I've seen more people there, but I don't think they were staffed for such a big crowd.

Ppl... David plus 3, jenna, tessa, daniel plus 1

Here's the video, my pacing still needs work, but I'm coming along.

7 people laughed

So I tried to get up at Moondoggies, but the booker said they were full. I decided to hit up the Wit's End. It's a tiny spot, with what I thought was mostly music. I mean the main reason I went was to hang out with the old gal. And in the end we had maybe 10 minutes of chatting. It was good seeing her, but it was good closure knowing how different we are.

Anyways, when I got there, there was one other comic. He said he wasn't even sure he was gonna go up. I knew another female comic was going. She used to do comedy a little bit, but not much. She's booked for a couple shows this week so she was trying to work on some jokes. She's kinda cute, and although she does have some talent sadly it's her looks that get her booked on those shows. Also, there was another female comic there. She was just there supporting her friend playing music. I've talked about her before, she is one the best San Diego comics, but she's taking some time off and think she's lost some of her edge. It's very important to just keep plugging away.

I was surprised how many comics ended up showing up. I was the first comic up and followed about 5 musicians who did 10 to 20 minutes each. In the end there was about 15 comics there. My set went pretty good considering the small amount of people. I did a mixture of jokes and slight crowd work. I only aknowledged crowd members when they said something, I didn't pick out people. I was happy with how it went. Tried some newer jokes, and worked on older ones.

There was a comic that went up a little while after me. He didn't really tell jokes kind of ranted about his life. It's good to do that but he went on and on. There was about 10 comics still waiting to go on, and he didn't seem to care he was doing as much time as he wanted. Finally after probably 15 minutes the bartender reminded him that there were still a lot of people waiting. I don't know how comics or any other entertainer can stay on stage when they're dying. If they are getting paid it's one thing, but to stay on stage just for selfish "I deserve the time" reasoning is silly. Share the wealth.

Couple of open mics down

Well Sunday had a double header of shows. I was on the open mic at the Comedy Store. 3 minutes is a breeze. I did basically all new jokes, some said for the first time. The crowd was pretty big and responsive so I was a little nervous. It's been awhile since I felt the nerves I was feeling before I got up there. I think it was more a rush. It's crazy to think I did basically 10 new minutes every time I got on stage when I started. The jokes went pretty well. They still need work and my comfort and timing needs help, but I'm happy I'm writing again.

After the Store I went to the Blarney Stone. I figured there weren't going to be many comics as most of them that usually go were at another show. I got there and it was just me and 3 others. I went up 3rd, the first couple guys struggled a little. It's funny cuz one of the guys that went up was also at the Store. He did basically the same jokes, one which absolutely killed at the store, and pretty much got silence at Blarney. Bars are very rough. Anyways I got up there and talked to each individual table. I was happy with the outcome. I chatted with some gal that was at the show last week after. She bought me a drink, and called me her "dork fantasy." She's kind of cute nothing amazing. She said I was funny which was nice. A girl also looked me up on facebook saying she saw me at a show awhile back and thought I was funny. She asked about weekend shows. I said I did Winston's, and jokingly said I'm also hilarious for dinner parties. She just responded no thank you. It was kind of awkward as A. I was joking and B. She was not attractive at all. How undesirable am I that I can't even jokingly ask out an ugly chick.

Weird stuff. I realized today there are 7 shows tonight in the San Diego area. Special shows at the Beach club in Oceanside and Comedy Store. But on the regular. There's Lestats, Comedy Palace, U31, Wit's End, and Moondoggies. That's pretty crazy. I've only been to Lestat's once or twice but heard it's pretty good. Comedy Palace has been solid the last few times I've been there. As far as the last 3. Wit's End is a music and comedy show, aka, going to be rough. U-31 is mostly a black crowd, my nerdy jokes don't often work. And Moondoggies, well we've discussed that. I may check out one or two, not sure yet.

Lastly I messed up paying people last week at Winston's. I mistakingly gave one gave 50$ and another 10$. I'm glad word got back to me, cuz the dude I gave less money to desrved the money. He brough people, is funny, and a good overall dude. I awkwardly send a message to the other guy asking for a little money back. He got back to me and was understanding.

Painful, yet paid

Well last night was the most people we've packed into a Winston's show since I've taken over. There were over 100 people. As a comedian in most shows around town this would be a good thing, not at Winston's. I'm not going to complain because although many of the people came to see the headliner, at the end of the day it is a bar. There was a lot of talking, not quite as bad as Moondoggies but it was rough. I should have taken the opportunity to do crowd work, I bet it would have worked as most of the people all worked with one another. The dude before me did really well, so I felt a little added pressure to bring the A game. I had planned out a set, as I expected a good crowd, but had to abandon it due to the hostile environment.

I wouldn't say I did horrible, but I definately have done better. Looking back I could have done a lot of things differently. I did have some people tell me aftr I was funny and apologized for the chatter. One girl who I told to shut the f up actually bought me a drink after. My brain thought maybe we chat after the drink was bought, but instead she bought it and just walked away. No good bye or anything. It was very awkward. She said she felt bad, but still a strange encounter. I don't know why I don't take those opportunities to talk to women, I'm just such a tool. Here's the video, it's painful to watch, but oh well.

Moondoggies thanks for the memories

Well I tried to do two shows last night, but when I got to the Palace there was about 50 comics there. There are so many comics that I have no clue about. There is one newer guy, who I like as he spoke out to another comic for feeling used and not allowing his gf to get in for free. But it seems everyone thinks he's the next big thing. I will say that he has good jokes, but they're all pretty easy. He has one about excited black people and Texas accents. Funny yes, but nothing ground breaking.

I left the Palace early as I had to pick my friend up from the airport. I headed over to Moondoggies after that. It had been awhile since I went up there. It is a pretty hard room, but it is even harder now. I got up there planning to at least tell one or two jokes, but I literally could barely hear myself talk. I abondoned the stage and walked around talking to people in the audience. This is rough as I came off the stage so now I losing the attention of the very few people watching.

I did get free drinks and tacos which I was happy about. The dude after me basically did the same thing as me, walked around and tried to be whacky. It was funny. The featured comic, sat on his chair and told his jokes. Stuck to the script. I would say he did ok, but a lot of the loud parties that were there left when he got on stage. He told me after I shouldn't have given up on my jokes and just stayed with it. I understand what he was saying but I could barely he myself through the speakers, it would have been awkward to tell no butt sex jokes.

There was a dude there who I've seen once. He's an LA comic and when I saw him last he held a guitar but never played it. I think he's a funny dude. Pretty grounded as well, as he asked me and 2 other dudes for our facebook stuff. Last time I met him I recall he said it was easy to get on Letterman, that was kinda weird but after talking with him again I think he was just messing around.

Slight rant. I'm realizing I have very few trustworthly friends in the comedy world. Everyone is simply trying to get somewhere. I must say that I do have 3 or 4 real friends. One of my good friends got a call from someone at the Comedy Store who is booking a showcase for the manager to try to be on the best of San Diego rotation. I know she asked a few other comics, I am curious who else said my name, I doubt any. I am on the show at the start of August. Two other guys I kinda thought were my friends clearly take comedy way to serious to help me out. There simply trying to make it, and favors are not to be done. It's sad people have to be that way, because in the end very little is going to happen for our careers doing shows in San Diego. But if they feel they need to hoard there stage time and give it to those they feel can help their careers more power to them.

Disaster narrowly avoided

So before the show even started the host came to me and told me there was a group of guys there ready to fight so don't bother them. I went up 5th, after my buddy who was there for the first time did well. I was doing ok, not really able to get into my jokes due to trying to do crowd work and getting interupted by yelling. I said something to one of the meatheads, "he sucks the new mayors weiner." I'm not sure why I said this, it wasn't funny nor necessary. I'm an idiot. He kept saying what did I say, I basically tried to apologize in a somewhat funny way to not lose the audience. I then turned my attention to one of the gals in the front row. She was paying attention and somewhat attractive. I sat down at the table and talked with her. That brought the crowd back, and I ended on a highish note. I told 2 new jokes. I knew they weren't going to do well but was happy to voice them anyways.

There was a dude there that went to Winston's Friday looking to kick a fellow comics ass. I found it comedical and asked him about it. The dude is a tool, and at minimum a cokehead. I wouldn't mess with him as he's clearly insane, but am somewhat interested into why he wanted to fight him. He said something to the affect that the other dude talked crap about him. Luckily he doesn't know that half the comics in San Diego talk about him, so he'd want to fight a lot of people.


Jokes: Private property, no soliciting, random crowd work

Solid new Winston's set

I had to go up earlier than usual as one of the dudes that started OBC was headlining and he wanted to have the entire show after 730. There was actually more crowd members than I expected. I thought maybe we'd make a decent amount of money at the door. I find out when we count the money the dude let all his friends for free. Also, we get 100$ on the bar tab, and the dude drank all of it other than the one drink I got. We then gave him 75% of the little amount of money the door actually made. The rumor is the dude is leaving SD in October and I'd be happy to get rid of him. I actually waved to him and he didn't even flinch. He has done a lot of drugs, and clearly has no idea how to interact with humans.

I did some newer jokes, and older jokes I rarely do. It all went prety well. I closed by asking people if they liked impressions. I then said this is my impression of me telling jokes if I was a lady. A gal that kind of looks like me came up and told my jokes. It went over ok. I like trying new things anyways.

Still no poker to report. Love life is interesting as always. I randomly talked to a girl I went on a couple dates with a few months ago. We texted on and off throughout the day, I have no clue what's going to happen with that but I'm pretty sure she has a bf, not sure why she's talking to me. She's attractive but more money hungry then anyone I've ever met. Got a text from the last lady, I have no clue whether she likes me, even as a friend sometimes. It kinda reminds me of the ex, she ony shows me attention to prove I still am interested in her. I still don't really know why I am, but I have little respect for people that change over night. I'd have to say it is one of the weirdest girl experiences I've ever had. Oh and a girl from work that had come to my Wed and Thurs show, and then hung out with me last night, asked if I was interested in being more than just friends. That was kinda weird, I felt bad, and just went into my awkward no thanks routine. I've developed this awkward character. I'm pretty sure it's from having to be so friendly and say hi to strangers at the depot.


Jokes:40 yr old virgin, facebook relationship, gal tie down, tatoos, suicide call, HD Lowes, smelling things

Somewhat rebounded

Had a somewhat ok set last night. It was weird, the vibe there on Thursdays is so much different than the Sunday/ Wednesday shows I'm used to. So much more competitive and cold. I sat in the front with my friends for a little bit. That was kind of different. I am not a big lol'er so I'm kind of awkward to sit with, as I probably take away from the show experience. I went to the back after 3 or 4 people. Right before I went on I overheard one of the comics complaining about his spot (last after me). I was trying to hear if he was complaining about having to go after me or just being last. I'll never know. The dude clearly isn't a fan of my comedy as he was a judge for the finals and didn't put me in the top 4.

I did feel a little added pressure to do well after him complaining, and getting put on the show. I went on pretty late, so that was a little difficult. The dude before me gave me a pretty good intro, which is always good. Even though he was just bs'ing, it felt kinda cool to hear him say good things about me, as he's the clubs manager and a pretty good comic. The set had some highs and lows, I did most of the jokes I wanted to do, it would have been a good time to try crowd work but the lights were too bright.

Couple of random things. I saw a dude that's been doing comedy a long time, opened up for some big name people, pretty much forget a bunch of his jokes. It was weird, it's not like he was doing new jokes, he does the same jokes night in and night out, and he couldn't remember them. He does a lot of crowd work, but to forget jokes you've been doing for 5 years is pretty bad. Also, I will have to say I've been getting a lot of random compliments from comics lately. Like the guy that I called to book me, told me he really likes my jokes. And he hears some and thinks he wish he thought of them. That I don't take the easy route. It's cool to get recognized for what I'm doing. Also there's one comic that said I was the most talented unrecognized comic in SD. Some other dude said one of the comedy store comics, who is pretty solid and very good at crowd work, said I was the best of the new group of comics. Hearing those thiings does make me happy, and think maybe I should be less bitter and reach out to people. I'll get there. I asked to be on 4 shows this week, two I actually got put on. If I want to make it I have to put in the work, shake hands, kiss babies, I'll get there.


Jokes: Speed dating, chubby chaser, can i be honest, intervention, cocaine, smokey, tony, home depot toilets, 100% american, planned parenthood, hand jobs, getting older...ppl.tessa and friends

And why I never get cocky 101

Well I went from having a great week to a somewhat crappy week. I've been thinking of a bunch of new ideas so I decided to do the new material night at the Palace. I got up there and tried them and totally flubbed up my words. It's been awhile since it's happened that bad, but it was uncontrollable. I worked well on playing it off and mentioning to the crowd I was a moron etc. Both jokes didn't really work, but who knows how they would have gone if I delivered them solidly. I was happy that the dude that was hosting the show let me pop in and go up whenever I wanted. I appreciated that a lot as it seems so few people return favors I do for them. I don't expect things, but honestly very few people help me out with shows they are on. I actually had a dream that I got into a fight with two of my friends who recently took over hosting a show. It was weird.

Last night I was back at the Palace as part of a promoted show. I had a couple people show up but didn't promote it that hard. It was a pretty decent sized crowd, and they were responsive to good, dirty jokes. Yesterday I actually wrote out all the jokes I've done. Just the words that spark the joke, but I have a lot of stuff, very few do I do often but it's cool to think of the creative crap I've thought of. My set went decent. I kind of was put in a hole as the comedian before me A. is hilarous B. did 20 minutes when everyone else did 10 C. went insane on a heckler for yelling something at him. He was slapping the table and challenging him to a fight. He then brought me up. Although his rant was funny, it was extremely akward for the crowd and there was a lot of tension in the room. It was very difficult to follow. I was planning to do some newer jokes but they weren't going too well. The crowd didn't want to think they basically wanted to hear dirty talk. I switched over and it went ok. It wasn't my best set, but not the worst.

Jokes: Coke, anabolic, nintendo, planned parenthood, gf lies, needle haystack, hand jobs, facebook, spell check, haircut, HD Lowes, tony tiger... ppl Tessa, Megan

Wow akward day. My friend who came to the show last night sent me a message saying she had family in town who wanted to see a comedy show. I thought well maybe I can try to get on something. I called the Comedy Store, and the dude said they were over booked. He was actually pretty nice, as normally he's kind of a cold person. I then thought maybe I'd call the booker for the Palace. I've never really spoke to him and had to get his number. I call him and say hey it's jeff bilodeau, WHO!? I've done shows with you etc.. Sorry, no clue. He then says he was losing reception. I hung on, he then said who is this. I say Jeff Bilodeau, comedian, from the Palace, Oh ya what do you want? I told him about the message, he said how many people I said 6, he said he'd put me on. So I guess it's somewhat a success even if he's just using me for money, I'll take it.

Also today I responded to an ad about joining a poker talk show, they got back to me, and it's suppose to start in August. I think it will be good exposure and think could help my poker and comedy career.

Great comedy week

Well I just completed 4 days with 5 shows. The week kicked off with a show at Dreamstreet in OB. It was a bar show and not an easy crowd. I had my friend come on stage with me with his guitar. We've done this schick before and it went well. That night it did not. The crowd clearly had never been to a comedy show before and it was difficult to make them laugh. I did have a couple people tell me after that I did well, and acknowledged the tought crowd.

Next was Winston's. There were a lot of people in the crowd but few of them were very listening or laughing. Some comics fear this, and I can't say I love it, but I do enjoy the challenge. I did some newer jokes, and some crowd work. I was happy with my performance.

Next was a show at a pizza restaurant in La Jolla. I was a featured member of the show but didn't promote it much as I knew the other comics wouldn't promote. Everyone on the show was a legit comic but none were big promoters. I ended up having 3 people come watch me. I felt pretty solid about my set. The producer told me a lot of people told him that I was their favorite comic. I'm not sure if he was simply trying to kiss up but I'll take the compliment.

Next was being on the Comedy Store as a San Diego's best. It was nice being on but I simply got on cuz I promoted a show a few weeks ago. I got there and was already disappointed as I tried to get on the open mic next week, and didn't get picked. I'm sorry but that's bull shit. I put the booker on Winston's whenever he wants to go on and he can't give me 3 minutes. Jealous much? Honestly and I was there listening to this one dude basically jerk him off cuz the other dude tried a new joke on stage... really? wow, kissing ass is so lame. Anyways my set went well. I did some jokes I'm still developing and created new tags for others. I'm proud of the direction I'm going.

My week ended at the Blarney Stone. I enjoy this place, because if you're funny there you can be funny anywhere. The host introduced me as someone who toured with a black comedian, so I went into this crazy black character, it went well I'd say and I was proud of myself that the n word didn't slip. I tried some newer jokes and I'm happy overall with the set.

The girl... I hate women, honestly. Shit happened, I'm pretty sure she told the ex about it, as he said some awkward comment to me then said he had to leave. I'm so done with trying and caring, I'm clearly only good enough to use for free drinks.

All crumbling down....

Seems like my life has gone to shit since the depot made me full time. Poker has been god awful. Made a deep run in a poker tournament on Monday, only to mess it up by running into a huge hand against a maniac. With that said I will say how unlucky I am. There had been a guy raising a lot of hands. I raised with AK, he over shoved, what ended up being kk, i called, he won. Last night I got put all in with kk, against ak, and the dude of course hits an ace to lose a 300$ pot. When things like that happen to me so often it is really really depressing. I don't know what I've done in my life to make me so unlucky but it really brings me down. Last night was the first time in awhile where I thought slightly about giving up poker and comedy and just moving back to Maine. I'm starting to believe nothing good will ever happen to me.

As far as comedy I had the first round of the new popularity contest at the Palace. I had to go first as I wasn't there in time for the drawing. I busted out of the tournament on a spot were I could have folded and waited for a couple reasons. One I kind of wanted to make the show, but slightly because for some reason I lamely let the girl back in my life. I'll touch on that in a moment. Anyways I rushed down to the show and ran in. I had plenty of time as the host did a lot of jokes. The crowd was kind of tight, and I didn't really have a set planned. I felt I did ok, but I didn't end up advancing. I didn't watch most of the people, so don't have anything to gauge how I did against them. One of the my friends was a judge, so I should have at least gotten his vote. The other judge was a palace regular, I don't really have any history with him. He did come up to me after and said, "I wanted you to advance," to which I said, "You should have voted for me," he said he did. If so, I must have gotten very few audience votes. I really didn't care about not advancing, just reassures me how stupid people are. I am happy with my jokes, and like that I'm trying new jokes that arn't easy and overdone. I did close with my Nintendo joke that I hadn't done in months, not real sure why I did, mostly because the crowd weren't getting anything that involved words with more than 3 sylables.

Trust your instincts

So last night was really fun, and think proved how great Ocean Beach Comedy is. We did the reverse show, where everyone tried other people's jokes. Not everyone involved with the show did the swap and not everyone was as good as everyone else. I enjoyed trying to mimic other people's styles. Some comics I think I hit their mannerisms and others, well not so much. The guy I co produce the show with was weary of the doing the show, but I mimicked one the comics a month or so ago and convinced him it would be a good idea. Altough most of the crowd didn't really enjoy it, the laughs from the comics made for a great night. I had faith the show would be a success and think it was. One guy said we should try it every other month. I don't think that would work, but I definately think every 6 months or so, maybe July 4 and New years would work. It's good to have a show for the comics, brings us together, and adds to the commradory that makes Winston's so special. My buddy did really well, and the reason was I think he had confidence. Confidence is such an important stage quality. I think he has a lot of potential he just doesn't sell his jokes the same way he did others. I think many of the regulars around town really arn't that funny, but they work such easy rooms that they get a false sense of talent. That confidence shows on stage which in turn tricks the audience into thinking they are better than they truly are.

As far as the gal, looks like that's out. As I first expected she isn't over the ex. It's crazy how people can change vibes in the matter of hours. I'm ok with it, it's just crazy how I see specials on death row inmates getting hundreds of mariage proposals in a matter of months, and I can't find a legit girl in 4 plus years. I mean I'm not completely looking, but it's just silly to see these girls falling for these guys that are douches. I really don't care to try, but would be lying if I didn't say it wasn't frustrating.

Successful week

No poker this week, so good stuff to report. Went out with a buddy to Pacific Beach Bar and Grill on Tuesday night. I used to go there every week with my old best bud, and actually used to talk and mingle with the opposite sex. Now I just look at the 21 year old ladies and think, "Wow I'm old, and slightly creepy." My buddy wanted to stay so I sat at a table and texted with a gal. I ended up hanging out with her last night, I enjoyed myself a lot. She is genuinely a nice, caring person which is a nice change from the girls I've met out here. She's pretty intelligent as well. I was actually interested in listening to her chat with another woman about paintings and the such, something I care little about. What I found facinating was with how much passion she spoke about the subject. There is really nothing in my life that I'm totally passionate about. There's stints where I love poker or comedy, but nothing I could go on and on with someone to the point where outsiders who have no tie to what we're talking about would be intrigued. I was happy with the evening, we'll see if anything comes of it.

As far as comedy I had my first big show at the Comedy Store on Wednesday. I tried pretty hard to try to bring in people. I got around 15 to 20 to come. 9 who had never seen me before, and were interested to come again. It's amazing how often people say, "You seem so shy I never expected you'd be funny." I sometimes wonder what people envision a comic to be like. Most comics are shy people for the most part, I wouldn't say I'm completely shy but I'm not the life of the party type. I don't need to say hello to everyone and tell the best story to win everyone over.

Well I think my set went pretty well. The crowd was kind of tight, but I like how it went. I did some newer jokes, and one joke I had never told before. Not everything hit as hard as it could but I was definately happy with it overall. I'm focusing on writing one new joke a week, I think that will keep me motivated. I still want to keep doing crowd work. There were 2 guys that went back to back that are mostly crowd work comics. First I must say the show went very long, and the order they out the comics in is just mind boggling. 2 and half hours is much too long for a comedy show, and if theyre going to do that they should put the high energy people at the end.

Well the promoter guy said he'll put us on a sunday show in a couple weeks. I learned after if we brought ten or so more people theey would have put us on a wednesday show as well. Makes no sense, esp. considering one group of people called to make reservations and they were told they reached capacity of reservations. Why in the world would you tell people that. Until people are sitting in their seats or paid the money there is no guarentee they will come to the show. I think this costed us a few audience members to say the least.