Rollercoaster week to the max

Sunday was the Store, both work and perform. After week after week of going on 2nd or 3rd, I end up going up late. Normally I'd be happy about this but the opener brought a good amount of the people and it would have been beneficial to go up earlier. I ended up doing ok, just not as great as I could have done going up earlier. I did did a joke that got a good amount of laughs on Friday, and pretty much got nothing on Sunday. Comedy is so weird in that way. Monday was the finals of the contest. I was expecting a good amount of people but no one could have guessed it would have been that packed. There was 180 people, on top of them turning down 50 more people at the door. The show got started around 830. The dude that went up first was forced to as he showed up late. I didn't really watch his set but he's a hacky black comic to the max. He wears a shirt that says P Man, and closes with "I'm P Man god damn it." Great. And of course I draw number 2, because I run awful in life. Well I was somewhat nervousish before I went on, but just wanted to get it over with. I wasn't expecting much. But I opened pretty strong and that momentum built throughout. I had one of the best sets I can recall having. Every joke hit pretty hard. I was feeling I had a legitimate shot. I went outside, feeling pretty happy. I was buying drinks and just trying to enjoy the rest of the night, knowing I did the best I could. It was one of the few times I can remember not wanting to get off stage. I did only 6 or so jokes in the 10 minutes. I wasn't even able to do the end of my last joke due to the fact I was going over time. I guess they announced, while I was outside, before the show, that comics would get the light flashed at 10 minutes, and cut off at 10:15. I took this pretty seriously. As I watched the rest of the show, and even taped a few people I noticed they went wayyyyy over time. And those same people got 2nd and 3rd respectively. I ended up getting 4th. Not bad with the fact I didn't bring anyone, but if I would have went up later, and they stuck to the rules, who knows what could have happened. I was bummed, then angry, now I just like "whatever." The worst part of 4th, is there was no pay. 1st was $1000, 2nd was $300, and 3rd was $200. The money or the title really meant nothing to me. It's more gaining the respect of the comedian community. I don't know why I care, but for some reason I'd like to be able to turn down more shows. Tuesday was working at the Store. It was a strange show. It was a talk show style show, with a band on the stage and the host held interviews, and did a few characters. It was a very small crowd, 15 or so. The guy was really nice, but not sure how the show would have gone in a full crowd environment. After the show I recorded the podcast with Rene. I think it was somewhat interesting. Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning I emailed my set from Monday to a few agents. Actually 2 of them responded. One asked what cruise lines I had done, to which I said none. The other asked for other credits and videos. The first one responded back a few times and asked me to send him a clean video, which of course I don't have. So that is something I will be working on in the next few weeks. It's going to be very difficult to get a good clean tape. The other agent never responded back after I gave him the videos, oh well. I also emailed the Comedy Connection about doing a weekend in the summer, he said they were booked. He said maybe I could do a Thursday, and said I said "fuck," too much. I actually was told by a comic a few days back that I said it a lot that night too. I reviewed the tape and I truly did. I will be conscious of that in the future. Wednesday was the finals at Winston's. I wasn't sure how the turn out would be. There ended up being about 50 paying customers. I somewhat feel there were more people than that, but that's what the door brought in. We were to pay the winner $300, and the bar picked up the rest of the tab. I'm not going to claim anyone stole from the door, but I somewhat felt there should have been a few more bucks. Anyways the first two comics did very well. They stood out, and for going first and second that is a skill in itself. The person who won ended up winning. This comic somewhat reminds me of myself. He kinda stays to himself and writes a lot of smart, edgy material but is normally passed by. He is nice, and let's hope the win doesn't change him. Thursday was my promoted show at the Store. I was working which was an added stress. We had two newer comics on the show who were very nervous, but brought a good amount of people. They both started off nervous but found a groove and both did well. I was happy with my set. Did 13 different minutes from the last 2 promoted shows. I forgot one joke, and ended somewhat poorly with the last joke, so I choose a different joke to close with. I ended happy with my set. Friday was Winston's. There was a small crowd already there at 6. This can be good and bad. The crowd can get tired towards the end as a 3 hour show is very long. They were very hit or miss and got chatty at times. I managed to get through my set after digging myself somewhat of a hole. I did a mixture of jokes and crowd work and I was pleased with the result. It was in no way great, but like a great boxer I sparred my way to a tie. Saturday I went to brunch with my gf. They had bottomless champagne, which I took full advantage of. We then took a nap, then I headed to the gym, then work. Well, like I said I'd never do again, I drank a little before work. Not much just a shot and a small Club drink. Just enough to make work more tolerable. Well as the night moved on I felt myself getting more tired. The comics were meh. One of the headliners did so many pop culture references. He popped in on Thursday and some audience members made light of the fact he will never appeal to the entire audience. He just talked about a lot of things that aren't totally relate-able. The other comics talked about race and relationships. Literally every joke was about either race, dating, or sex. It's pretty pathetic. Anyways, both shows were filled with drunktards. The second show was even more chatty. I hate having to continually tell people to big quiet. The bouncer ended up throwing up a few people. To which the white women said, "I can't believe that (n word) threw us out, we're not even black." Yup, then she said she was a stripper in Vegas. People can be so sweet. Anyways, I was the senior person still working, as it was just Rene and I. For some reason I get more nervous having to close the show over doing my own set. Something about having to recite the words. Anyways I screwed it up. Messed up one of the guys names, and even froze for a second. I couldn't think of what we called the cards people put their emails on. "Ummmm idiot, how bout email cards." I felt bad, that I messed up that guys name. He said something to me after, kinda laughing about it. Not sure he cared, but either way I felt bad, and actually had dreams about it.

Does anything matter?

So I was busy at the Comedy Store this week. Tuesday was another shitty bringer show at the Comedy Store. It was 420 themed, and the "headliner" calls himself the 420 comic. We lit him when we were suppose to and the booker turns off the light, and runs into the showroom yelling, who wants more of the 420 comic. No one, but I guess they did. After him Tommy Chunn went up. He did 5 or so minutes of this over the top annoying, cocky set. He gets on stage and yells bitch in an obnoxious yell, and the crowd eats it up. He's basically everything I hate about comedy. I'm happy to say I did better than him on a show, and say that with pride. There was a comic on this show that did pretty good on this show, by the name of Medicinal Mike, who was also on my show Friday at Winston's. He totally, admittedly ate shit at Winston's. Winston's is as close to comedy justice as there is. After the show, I recorded another episode of the podcast, and it was a good time. Wednesday was the contest. It was the first round, and there was a decent turn out. 10 or so, but that's a crowd nonetheless. Jesse and I played a game where he played game show themes and I tried to guess. That was fun. I enjoy the fact that even on crappy shows, we can have a good time. Thursday I worked and performed at the Store. Once again I went up first. It's so annoying. I guess it's a favor putting me up first rather than later, but I disagree. While I was on stage about 30 or so people filtered into the show. They warmed up by the 3rd or 4th comedian. Then Jay Larson popped in. He did 15 or so minutes and totally drained the energy out of the audience. He had a really solid joke about a phone call, and seemed really nice. He even gave another comedian advice on her set. The guy after him totally sucked all the energy out of the show for reasons I have no idea. I'm not sure if he was nervous about following Jay, but he did this whacky, dry start that just turned the crowd off. It was awful. After that, the comedians were kind of hit or miss. The crowd was laughing at random jokes. Friday was Winston's. It was a 420 weed inspired show. The turnout was slow as expected. About 30 or so paying customers. The show had some high points, no point intended, but many of the comics didn't do that well. I went up, and felt pretty decent about my set. I'm happy I'm continuing to take on the Friday night shows. My buddy, who is a very talented comedian, told me he didn't want to go up in fear he would lose his confidence. I have to take pride in keeping up with the struggle. Saturday was working at the Store. I was actually somewhat excited about the show. I am at least aware of the comics that were on the show. I was somewhat disappointed. The headliner did basically the same set each show, and I thought he was more of a crowd interaction comic. He also ran the light by 20 minutes the first show, and 40 minutes the 2nd show. He was scheduled to do 40 and did 80 MINUTES!! Wtf is wrong with people. He ran the light on the 2nd show, simply because he wanted to do some stupid thing where he gave the crowd a chance to ask a jew a question. This basically entailed the other comics on the show yelling racist crap to him. There was some laughter but for the most parts it was sighs and most of the crowd began filtering out. The feature of the show is actually more talented that the headliner, and more crowd members asked about him. He has his "set," but doesn't stray much from that half hour. I've seen him do 4 shows so far and it has always been the same jokes. Lotta of impressions and race crap. He said he doesn't listen to other comedians and just does his own thing. He said it doesn't matter if comics do the same material topics, as long as they do it better. I agree to a certain degree, but come on how many racial jokes can be done. I don't know if I'll eventually have an "aha" moment and just give in to doing easy jokes. After the show a crowd member basically got in the features face about wearing a Dodgers hat in SD, and the nerve of it. I was standing on the latter changing the letters of the marque at this time. I'm yelling at the comic that's suppose to be watching the latter. I tell him to make sure these drunken idiots don't get too close to the latter. 5 seconds later he's shaking hands with them and letting them walk right under the damn latter. Are you that retarded? Luckily nothing happened, but it's ridiculous. I could be slightly pissed, with all the right, because he's been working at the Store for a month and opened the show. He has already opened a show because he was just hanging in the lobby and the headliner asked if he was a comic, and then he was asked to go up. This time, the feature, who I guess they are buds, requested this comic to go up first. Such BS. I was pretty pissed, but I guess that's out of my control, as L.A. runs the Store. It is unfortunate how little the two managers care for my comedy. The chick is a bitch and I can't stand her. She has no clue on how to handle people. She's as close to the girl from Waiting as it gets. And the other manager I guess never cared for my comedy. Someone parked at Von's and they wanted someone to go on stage and announce the car before it got towed. I was first asked, and I had no desire to do this as I knew it was going to be awkward as fuck. The manager saw my fear and saw nah, let someone else do it. I don't care to be honest. It turned out the feature did it, and it was as awkward as I expected. He said this isn't a joke, which of course got a laugh, and announced it, which also got a laugh. The person never got her car, and it ended up being towed.

Sunday "funday"

Well well. Sunday I worked/ performed at the Store. Long day, as I worked until 1, drank til 230 and then had to work at 8. I was pretty exhausted but made it through the radio day. I took a nap in my car, and hit up the gym for a little cardio. Got to the Store and saw I was going up pretty late. The crowd was small, and the show got off to a rocky start. The opener was a small asian kid, that is funny to comics because he is so absurd, but the audience was more like wtf? There were a few comics in a row that did well, but then a comic preached to them and after that point the crowd was tough. I started off with two jokes that feel flat. I then chatted with the crowd a bit and that did well. I closed with a joke that went decent. I was somewhat happy with it overall.

Monday I checked out Lestat's. It's mostly a music open mic and haven't been there in nearly 2 years. There is a random drawing and I actually got picked 2nd. I decided to go up around 9 so Lindsey could go with me. It's a clean show, and I only did 5 minutes. I think I did fine, got a few chuckles. And one joke that never seems to do well at the Store hit moderately well there. Comedy is so weird sometimes.

Earlier in the day I had somewhat of a breakdown. I was listening to the song, "Somebody you used to know," over and over again and started crying. Granted I was drinking, but the song makes me think back to my ex. I actually tried calling where I thought she worked but she no longer works there. I started writing an email to her sister as I can't find her online anywhere, but even in my drunken state thought better of it. I still think I need to speak to her to completely be good again, but I'm not sure it's for the best. I texted my sister, and likely worried my family, but I just want to be totally happy, who knows if it will ever happen.

Comedy aint paying the bills

This was one of the lowest weeks making comedy money this week. Thursday was working at the Comedy Store. I went up 2nd, after the token old Asian comic who always does the same jokes, and doesn't even attempt to say my last name. I feel somewhat douchey being brought up simply as "Jeff." I struggled right from the start. I was somewhat a dick to a few Mexican ladies in the front, as they were talking and I told them to be quiet and asked if they spoke English. Not really funny, and turned some of the crowd off. It was pretty unnecessary. I fought through my set, told some of the new jokes. One I wrote that day and was excited to try, but it kinda fell flat. I did hear a pretty high laugh in the background, which I at the time was a comedienne down from L.A. It turned out it was, and she even complimented me as she was leaving. I said have a good night, she said, "I thought you were really funny." I said, "you too." Not sure how she took it, and I never know what to say. I think it's rude to not say it back, but condescending to say it back. An audience member said something like, "strong skit," or something to that affect. It was more like, "good try," over "you were funny," but I'll take it.

Friday was Winston's. I knew it was going to be slow, esp. with the rain. The promoters I put on the show didn't do much promoting. One of the girls has done a lot of the bringer type shows, and even asked me if she had to bring a certain amount of people. I just said, "No but I ask everyone to promote." She brought one person, and talked about her "fupa" for 8 straight minutes. She's basically doing through a midlife crisis, and trailer park to the max. Actually yelling out stuff from the audience, saying how she likes banging Mexican dudes, and her friend does black guys, nice.

There was about 15-20 crowd members. They actually were into the show and wanted to laugh, but a lot of the comics did inside jokes and kinda of shit on the show. Pretty dumb as the crowd was just looking around trying to figure out what was going on. I tried basically the same jokes I did the night before in front of 80 or so people, and it went light years better at Winston's. I would say all audience members pretty much laughed at all my punchlines. A few fell flat, but overall I felt pretty good about it. I opened with singing it "aint no fun," pretty stupid but had fun with the set.

Saturday was working at the Store. It was an older comics show. Vicki was on the show, and she was funny and sweet as always. She actually made stew for everyone. Such a rare treat in comedy. Had to listen to the bitchy "manager," tell me to get out of the way, and then I know bitch about it after. She is ridiculous, and basically everyone there hates her. I'm not sure why she still has a job. I don't know why anyone would act like that. She is trying to be the new age Mitzi Shore, but what she doesn't realize is this isn't L.A., she doesn't own the club, and no one gives a shit what she thinks of them. She, and no one in San Diego, has any say in anyone "making it." I don't know why some people have to be so miserable to work with. Esp. when she's showing off her receipt that she sold over 1600$ worth of drinks, meaning at bare minimum she made probably $175. And I made $12, TWELVE BUCKS. And everyone says "well that's the business, you do it for the stage time." Yes maybe, but honestly it's crazy to think she's making that much money and still finds the time to be such a bitch. I literally don't like even looking at her.

The show was ok, same guys got to open. One of the older comics bitched that as younger comic got to open the show. He bitched that he had to wait a year before he opened a weekend show. Well maybe it has to do with the fact you're not funny. I still think it's so stupid that time is such a factor in comedy. Why punish people for having more talent. If someone is funny that should speak for it's self. These comics are doing the same jokes, set after set, 8 fucking minutes. They are not getting better and are not working to move up the ranks. But us "young comics," are writing and reworking jokes, and getting no recognition. Oh well, just gotta play the game I guess.

Winston's contest

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Busy subpar week

Worked at the Store on Tuesday. Didn't get to go up for some reason. I sometimes really think I get passed over for a lot of shows because I don't speak for myself, and do a lot of different jokes. It was a small crowd, but they laughed heavily. Would have been nice to go up, but oh well.

Wednesday was the Winston's contest. There were 10 or so audience members. Pretty slow. Still working the overnights so I'm not drinking on those nights. I took Thursday off to hang out with my gf, but basically slept most of the day. Friday was Winston's. Crowd came late, but there was a good amount of people that one comic brought. He was new, and knew he could bring people. He is moderately funny, and his friends were somewhat interested in laughing. I rewrote a lot of my jokes to get ready for my show on Apr 26. I had a good enough set and had a few people talk to me after. A dude actually bought me a show of tequila which is always cool.

I feel like I'm getting inspired again. Been writing more, and getting a lot of new ideas. I believe it has a lot to do with listening to the WTF Marc Maron podcast. I actually started my own podcast last week. I was suppose to do it with two other comics, but they were an hour late on the first show, and I was so pissed I just did it without them. The first one I did with Jesse. I had a feeling he was drunk, but didn't realize the extent of his drunkenness until he told me he barely remembered doing the 2 hour interview. I actually liked how it came out. He hated it, and was so embarrassed. He came off cockier than he really is, but nothing he said was out of life. He just repeated a lot of stuff, and that made it a little annoying.

Saturday I worked at the Store. During the day I went to a champagne brunch with my gf. I had a good amount of champagne so had a nice buzz. We took a nap, and then headed to the store. To top it off I had a shot of whiskey. I was a little tipsy at work, which no one could tell, but it's rather risky. Won't be doing that again. The show was decent. The headliner did a thing where he brought some audience members on stage and made a mock boy band. It was funny, but seemed risky. I asked him in the green room if it ever went back, and he said "no," seeming somewhat annoyed. Oh well, he did get us pizza for running the light by about 20 minutes each show.

Sunday I was back at the store. I had to go up 3rd, never know how it will go. I was happy with it overall, still working on the jokes for the set at the end of the month. I hate going up early when I have to work, and even tried to trade with no luck. After the show I went to the radio station an hour early and tried to get a quick nap. Long day working until 1 am Saturday, up at 8 AM until 4, then back at the Store at 7, then back 12-6, just long.

Monday was the Store open mic. This has quickly become my favorite night to perform. It's a small crowd, but they're supportive. I feel no pressure, and it's reassuring to know I deserve to be apart of San Diego when I do well enough every week. I tried a few new tags, that mostly worked, and even got a new tag while on stage. Even had a gal yell she wanted to see my balls, granted I said I had a Seal tattoo, but funny nonetheless.

Tuesday was an Emerging comics shit show. It was almost packed, to watch some awful comics. A couple of guys were going up for the first time and they each brought over 20 people. It was crazy, the crowd was divided with black and white people on each side. When I was seating people a black gal said she was joining a group, so naturally I brought them to the black group. Welp I was wrong. She had a good laugh about it, and told her friend about it. I said sorry and laughed. The newbies are bad, but the worst part is a few of them actually got standing ovations. My god, I've never got a standing ovation and likely never will. He closed with a joke like, "knock knock, who's there, wilma, wilma who, will ma dick fit in yo mouth?" Insert Arsinio Hall standing ovation. Also there was a guy that did the show last time, who is just awful, but gets a decent amount of laughs. Plus there's a black guy, who got second in the first contest I was in, who basically destroys with jokes talking about how dark he is, and what a fart feels like. Makes me sad, oh well.

Store madness

Sunday was work and perform at the Store. I went up 3rd again, same exact order as last week. Wasn't sure how it was going to go. The crowd had more Mexicans than white people, which has never happened in the history of Comedy Store. They were a rowdy bunch, but they laughed a lot. They were somewhat tight, meaning they didn't care for edgy material. I felt pretty good overall about my set.

Monday was the contest. I wasn't sure how it was going to go. I planned to shit on contests for a moment or two. From the start I stumbled on my words, and had a tough time recovering. I was doing jokes that had been doing well in the past weeks but I was getting nothing. The guy I followed brought most of the crowd, and did hacky black jokes. He crushed and ended up getting first place. What saved me was I literally said, "You ever take a shit and start sweating." At that point I had pretty much checked out, and assumed I wasn't going to advance. I did close pretty strong with the trick daddy joke. I ended up advancing. I knew it was between me and another dude. I luckily got the judges vote, so that helped me through. On to the finals and we'll see what happens. I learned a valuable lesson from the show.

Winston's and the Store

Winston's was pretty packed. I wasn't completely sure how the show was going to be, I assumed it was going to be decent, but could never have guessed how packed it was. We had over 80 paying customers, which is awesome. I do not think April's shows will be very busy, so it was nice to make a little bit of money. I got there at 6, because I knew we had a full schedule. On top of the 30 plus comics we had, there was 10 more comics that were trying to get spots. I normally give those people an opportunity, but we got a late start and pretty much all the comics showed up. I gave all those people lightning round spots, and no one complained, to my face at least.
My set was, in my mind, one of the best I've had at Winston's that I can recall. Basically every joke I told, I got an applause break. Pretty crazy considering a lot of the crowd was talking, felt pretty cool. Normally I can hear some laughs, but the talking normally is louder. I could honestly hear more laughs than talking. I had a few comics, and even a couple actual humans talk to me after. Been awhile since that happened. Had a guy tell me he'd seen me at the Comedy Store a few times, and now hear and always enjoyed me. As long as I do comedy, nothing in the world feels better than having a complete stranger compliment me. There really is no better feeling in the world. Just humbling, and makes it almost all worth it. With that said I also had a girl talk to me for 5 or so minutes about how my Indian style rape joke is wrong. She wasn't mean, and actually started off by saying I was the funniest of the night but that joke was not cool. She also said she laughed at the joke, but as someone that was raped, it wasn't appropriate. I totally agree. I think rape jokes are the worst. You can do murder jokes, but no one in the crowd was murdered. The joke always gets a great response, and I think my joke is more about what we did to the Indians, but I could only agree with her. It's so crazy, as another person told me he almost had tears rolling down his face from hearing that joke. It teeters the line so much. I think I'll likely drop the joke, but for now I'll painfully continue to tell it.
I also was not able to get everyone on the show Friday. When that happens I need to tell a few people I can not get them on. I normally try to put on all the people that are loyal to the show. There is one comic that shows up minutes before his time, never thanks me, and leaves right after. The same comic that complained last week that I lit him early. He asked me why he wasn't on the list again. I pretty much told him I have no reason to put him on the show. He blabbed that he wanted to treated fairly and what not. He has a complex that makes him think that people don't treat him fairly because he's gay. Which is not the case. I don't treat him the same because he's conceded and not funny.


Saturday was the Store. Kind of an annoying show. The first show had a big group of pricky douchebags. I had to try to adjust people's seating and a spoiled douche starred at me and said, "You sat us here, what do you want us to do?" God I hate people. Brought up rich, and just such a prick. They talked throughout the show and yelled random shit. I hate dealing with these fucktards. The second show was a little better but there was two issues. First the headliner made a girl cry because he said she wasn't very good looking and her friends were hot. This is messed up on so many levels. If there was a line, this is way over it. The other time he called an old woman a crackhead. The cryer walked out and the crackhead yelled at the waitress, who had absolutely nothing to do with it. Then, I guess, after the show she walked out on, and then returned, told the headliner how great he did. So crazy how stupid people are. That same woman did talk to me before the show saying she hadn't been to the Store in 30 years. I don't care, but thanks.