I AM PATHETIC

Wow, I'm such a piece of shit. I need to stop drinking, I;m just pathetic. I hate myself more and more everyday. Wednesday was Winston's and then I did a bar show downtown. Winston's was pretty busy. One girl brought a good amount of people. The open mic ran long so I didn't do any time. The booker at the Comedy Store in L.A. was at the Store so one of the guys that was supposed to do the show downtown backed out to do the store. I took his spot downtown. It was a fun show. I basically just talked to the crowd and slipped in some jokes here and again. They gave us a $20 food comp. which I blew through on a round of drinks. I drank too much and had to drive home. Which I did because I'm a piece of shit loser. God I hate myself. Thursday was the Store. It was a small, tight crowd. I spent the first two minutes ripping on the comic that went on before me. My actual jokes didn't really hit, but it was a tough night throughout. Friday was Winston's. It was one of the better, respectful crowds we've had in awhile. Some guys didn't take advantage of it, and just ripped on the audience saying they were old. I have no idea why they would insult a paying, laughing audience. I told the comic before me, "you can do jokes." Which he did and did really well. I was slightly unsure if I could follow him. I did well, most jokes hit. I was told after by a couple people that I did even better than the comic that went before me. That felt pretty cool. Saturday I did a house party. It was an adult shindig, and I got way too drunk. It was crazy because I was feeling fine, and all of a sudden I can't remember anything. I'm worried I made an ass of myself. I really need to stop drinking. I am pathetic. I'm such a piece of shit loser. I'm disappointed with myself on a daily basis. I have no idea why I do this to myself. I spent my set ripping on the guys who's birthday it was and making fun of his house. After someone told me they saw Louie Anderson and Jerry Seinfeld back in the early 80's and that he didn't enjoy them. He said I have a special look, and am funny. That was cool.