Louie speaks to the comedy mind

While I try to use the blog to paint a picture of the mindset and inside of a comic, the show Louie brings it into light. Just watched the season finale. And while the show is somewhat funny it dives into a lot of the little things about comedy. One being that many are single and trapped in their own heads. While I seem to be able to get a lot of women, keeping them is a very different story. It has as much to do with seeking perfection as it does to do with the constant need to feel wanted. I have always needed that extra need to feel important. That is one of the main reasons my last relationship failed so miserably. I never truly felt she loved me, and the way it ended she probably never really did. With the last gal, everything was great when we were together but not once did she contact me first after the 2nd week or so. Then I get a call from her after a week asking me to set her up with one of my friends. I kind of gave her a hassle about it, and led to the end of that. She called me sensitive a few times, and while I am, no need to be a dick about it. The fact that so many women just want you to ignore them and make them feel unimportant is so strange to me. I do somewhat get it, as one of the main reasons I continuously said we were done is because I never felt she even liked me. So the constant, trying to impress her, and feel wanted was the "game." And that's what the ladies want.

Ok tangent over. Anyways back to comedy and Louie. There was a scene where Louie tries to go out with a few other comics to a nightclub. He was awkward and out of place. It's so crazy how I used to enjoy nightclubs, dancing, and just having fun with friends. Now I don't know what I enjoy about life. Even though I end up telling jokes somewhere most nights of the week, I can't say it's a barrel of joy. Comedy sucks the joy out of so many things in life. Although I'm trying to have fun, I constantly tired and just can't find fun in life anymore. The roller coaster that is comedy drains you. SOme nights you're funny, others you're not. I'm just on a constant cycle of trying to impress people. At times I wish, I could be one of those lunatic comics who thinks they're hilarious. Would make life so much easier. But instead I'm stuck miserable when I do bad, and feel nothing when I do well. For a business with laughter being the payment for the most part, it's a depressing business.

Well the jokes. I did a short set at the Comedy Store first. I had a monster energy as I was on 3 hours of sleep, and tried to take a nap but that didn't last long. I opened up chatting with the crowd a little bit, and tried a new joke. It went really well which I was happy about. I felt I was doing really well, and think I opened up the room for the comics that followed. There was maybe 8-12 people there when I went up but felt good. The manager was there and I noticed he popped in to watch one of the up and coming comics. I think the dude is funny, and is a lot like me as he's not into playing the politics. Just wants to tell his jokes, and get back to life. He's married so he has that to balance life. Anyways, while I was on stage, I could see the manager still in the back, wanting him to come in and watch me. He popped in for the comic after me as well. It could have just been by chance, but it would be weird if he came in only for 2 of the best open mic comics. I kind hung around, walking by him a few times, hoping maybe he's say something to me. Nope, maybe I should have said something to him, who knows.

Next up I went to the Blarney. It was pretty dead, until about 10 or so of my co workers showed up. You'd think it would be good, but many of them have never seen me before, so there was added pressure. I rarely stress, and to be honest I probably didn't care but if I said I didn't want to be funny I'd be lying. I started off with a little chatting with the crowd, tried a couple jokes, and had a little comedy banter with a chargers fan. I was quite happy overall. One of my strengths in comedy is ending on a high note. I never know how long I do at Blarney, but once I feel I hit a max laugh I end it. Had some audience members say I did well, but no one from work. They were all somewhat friends, but a lot of them feel they are a little too cool to come to a comedy show. They came cause we had a meeting at work across the street til ten and they swung by for some beers. Well see how the response will be from them in the next couple days.