Holy cow. It just happened, so might as well write what I'm feeling before thinking about it. So the dude I took over OBC for and the one I run the show with are putting on a show at the Comedy Store. And.... they didn't even ask me to be on. Honestly, I've put the one dude on so many of my palace shows. I'm at a lost for words right now. The only justification is that I'm doing a show the week before. But honestly, there's absolutely no excuse to not ask me. I can't trust anyone anymore. Like seriously. How many people can use me. I'm at a lost for words. Fucked up considering I asked the dude to host my show a week before. What is wrong with humanity.
Was suppose to have a show tonight but it got cancelled due to the Chargers game. Got a text 40 minutes before the show. How do you not know until then. Luckily I didn't drive there. I think it was going to be a rough show, but was kinda looking forward to the challenge. He said he'll put me on a show in the future.
Last night I could have been on a show, but pulled my name out. I had put the promoter on a few shows on the palace. Some before he changed his style. And looking back I told the gal I co promoted with I won't promote if he was on as his act was all about rape and creepy stuff. I didn't feel comfortable having people see me for the first time with him on. Anyways, I made a snide comment about how I put him on shows, thanks for repaying me. He asked me via facebook comment if I wanted to go on. I didn't respond. My buddy was on the show, and told me I could do time. So I called the dude and he said he'll put me on. Well I find out later, it's basically a music comedy show. I said I'd take the time. I show up and there was maybe 20 audience members. I don 't care about that but there was an entire band set up on stage. I planned on singing Chris Issac's wicked games, but didn't really have the space. I had to work at 6 Am today, so just bailed.
Tuesday I did a comedy show in a little coffee shop, smart district spot. There was a good amount of people there. I was doing 15 minutes. It's been awhile since I did just my jokes for 15 minutes. When I stepped in at Winston's I had the heckler thing and my friend on the guitar. It's so crazy how much I hate telling old jokes. I wrote down all my jokes, and had to pick what I wanted to do. It's all crap. I just really want to focus on crowd work. I did some jokes, it went ok. I was sweating more than I ever have on stage. It's not really nerves at this point. I screwed up one of my older jokes, and tried to dig my way out of it. I wouldn't say I lost the crowd, but didn't perform well enough to get invited back or shake hands/ kiss babies. A gal did say I was funny after, which is always nice.
I just go back and forth with my love for comedy. Over a year later I still forget it's a roller coaster. Highs and lows. But like poker, I only dwell on the lows. I lost 1300$ in one day Tuesday. I can't stop thinking about that. I'm sad that Tuesday went so subpar. It was a good crowd, and I definately didn't capatalize on the opportunity. The main reason I tried to stop playing poker is how depressed it makes me. I hope I never want to quit comedy due to depression. I just see myself getting burnt out. There's no finish line. I always did well in school cuz I was rated. The better I did the better the grades. Plus I knew at the end I'd get a piece of paper that would help me land a job at home depot... But with comedy there's no finish line. At least with poker there are tournaments with a winner. I don't know... I just wanna be happy again.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment