Crushed beyond comedy

I have never felt so depressed and lost. The ex got into this, somehow. And took my writings in the total wrong way. She doesn't understand the pain I'm in and what I'm doing to cope. She has this assumption that I was hanging out with the old friend as a possible love interest and that is not the case. I hung out with her, as I've stated before because we connect. She accepts me for me, something I went a year and half without feeling. Do I like me, no. But it is nice to hang out with someone without judgements. It was meant to ease me back into reality of being alone again. The ex acted like this crushed her, blah, blah. Only to find out she's been dating one or more men. When she called, even though it wasn't great, I thought there was hope. I even told the new girl, I thought it was best if we took a break as I was trying to make it work with the ex. All for nothing. I lost both my friend and the ex for the future. Even after the first ex left me for someone else, we were at least 3000 miles away and had gone back and forth about breaking up for years. I was still hurt that someone could move on from me so quickly. But this one stings more than I could ever imagine. I can't even talk about it without crying. I'm thinking seriously about just packing it in and quitting it all. I don't think I can live in San Diego or do comedy any longer. I don't think I can move on. I want to get better, put my life back on track, but I know I'll never be able to do it alone. I have come to the realization that the recent ex literally wants to break me down to nothing. She acted like she was jealous and angry when in all reality she's been seeing a new guy. And what stings the most is the fact she felt the need to tell me he was "perfect on paper." Oh and also he has abs. Good for you, get everything you want in one great package. She's also doing this body challenge online. Ok great, you're so happy and better without me, thanks for reminding me how pathetic I am. Everything she wanted, everything I'm not and likely never will be. I'm crying as I write this. I'll never be a man someone will marry, ever. I will always just be second best. A starter boyfriend. Never good enough for someone to be proud of. Never a man a girl would be proud to introduce to her friends and family. I'm just a pathetic clown. Pathetic alcoholic, a friend, a fool. I've never felt so worthless. To be replaced so quickly yet again. I'm not memorable, I'm not worth fighting for, or second chances. Time to pack it in and give up the "dream" that will never happen. I was doing better. Going without speaking to her. I hung out with the new friend to help me move on because that's what's best for her. I know being with her is best for me. I broke down and told her my reasons for being the way I was. I never felt good enough, ever. She reassured me of that daily. And the fact she's with the new "perfect" man so quickly proves my thinking. I can't see things getting better for me anytime soon unless I make a major change. I just can't believe I'm being replaced again by a man they will marry. I know it's for the best, her family, friends, and even she hated me. I should have never even bothered to get better. All it's led to is disappointment. I tried to create the man I know she wanted, I wanted. All the while I was being replaced, and there was no thought of getting back together. A false hope. Which I guess was better than no hope at all. Now every moment is a blur, a wasted fragment of time. At least I had a marriage to look forward. Now there is no sure thing, nothing is consistent other than sadness and alcoholism. Good for her, way to fuck with my brain and heart. I'm proud of you. I survived the first break up, I'll survive this one. But this one is going to take a long time. It's the false caring that has crushed me the most. The attempt to feign interest, all the while with someone else. Allowing me into their home only to tell me about this "perfect" man. I may be a shitty human, but I am the same shitty human to everyone. Both girls portrayed themselves to be these great people. Everyone told me you have to get them back, they're these great people. Do great people really spit on people's hearts? Do they listen and watch someone pour their hearts out to them and stare blankly into their eyes. No emotion, no concern? Is that what great is. I live everyday with people thinking I'm this horrible person. But I have a heart, one that can be used, thrown out, and replaced without concern. What to do with my days other than drink and forget reality. Comedy, what really is the point? I want to start talking more about my life but nothings funny about a miserable alcoholic. It's nothing but couple's that attend the shows. And while I'm working I have to see these happy couples, these "perfect" men. I'm seating people for $8 an hour, to get my 8 minutes. Should I just quit the Store, try to find an investment job, to be that "perfect" man. Someone a girl could be proud of. I can't recall ever being happy in my life. My entire life. Middle school I dealt with obesity. High school I dealt with being really skinny, and being weird around women. College I had the first gf. We had a long distance, often fighting relationship. I loved her so much, but she just never felt the same. Didn't want to say good night. Than I had the 5 or so years of being single. Dated girls here and there but nothing serious. Just couldn't find someone I totally gelled with. Then the most recent ex. It started off like a fairy tale. Then I guess I happened. Vegas happened. We should have just ended things then. No one could accept me for that person. I should have got myself in gear and wanted to change then, but I just didn't feel the support. It wasn't her place but I wanted the ultimatum. I wanted her to leave me. It took the break up for me to want to get into gear, and now she doesn't want me back. Guess it's my fault. I'm a very depressed person. I need a strong person in my life to get me going. And while the ex is a strong, supportive person. She was also set in her ways. As cliche as it sounds I would have taken a bullet for her. Her life is so much more meaningful than mine. But in no way would I expect, nor think she'd do that for me. And I know the woman that I will marry will do that. I need that support. I need someone to accept me for who I am. Someone that will force me into sobriety. The reason I always left when we fought, wasn't to break up, it was to get away. Get away from the anger. It was always me feeling inferior. Always less of a person because of my battle with alcohol. She acted like she wanted me to quit but offered mimosa's and champagne brunches, come on. She was always first, always the better person. I know we weren't right, but I will always wonder if we could have been if I got sober. I offered to try it for a month. It would be great to know for sure, plus it would help me get clean for a month. But she shot this down. You "care," really about who you? Ok then. Enjoy the "perfect" man. I reached for help with the only person I know could help, and I was shot down. So it's just me now. Sunday was the Store. I don't recall exactly how things went, but I think I got a pretty decent spot. Can't remember anything good or bad so that's a win at least. Monday was back at the Store for the open mic. I went up somewhat early and worked on some jokes. It was fun as always, and some lady comic said I was very smart and funny. That was nice. Wednesday was back at Winston's. There was a good amount of people there when I arrived. They were there because the bar is celebrating it's 25 year anniversary and they had $1 beers before 6. Most of the people trickled out by the time the contest started. Which only 5 of the contestants showed up. Two at least told me, one just no showed. I advanced everyone. Thursday was back at the Store. I followed a comic and played on his joke. That went very well. Even got an applause break. That was cool. I couldn't reach that climax after that, but it was a fun set regardless. Friday was the finals. I saw the ex during the day, which led to absolute crushing my soul. I felt then and still do like a zombie. I wake up every morning at 6 am and stare into the darkness that is my life. I went there with the impression there was still a chance, at least a strong friendship. Pled my case how weak I was and how much I needed her, to which she reacted by telling me about the "perfect" man, who would be taking her out later that night. I cried to her face to which she stared. People are not who they want you to believe. Love doesn't leave that way for good people. True love lasts forever. But maybe that's just for good people. Maybe I'm not deserving of second chances, of ever lasting love. So I went to Winston's dead inside and hosted to the best of my ability. The show was packed, the winner was well deserving, and I made some money. I got some food, met a friend for a drink, and went to sleep. I battled my brain who wanted to get a bottle of wine, but I didn't. I went to sleep. Is it a step in the right direction, maybe? Still woke up and texted the ex. Only to get a response hours later that it's my responsibility to clean up my act. Man up, and move on. Thanks "caring" person. Is that really whats best for us, ok then. Saturday I zombied all day and went into work. Luckily I didn't have to open either show. The line up was whatever. The first girl was just there. She's cute, but as far as comedy, come on, pathetic. The second guy does a lot of impressions. He's talented for sure, but has done the same exact jokes every time I've seen him. Which is slightly weird for the younger comics, but it works for him very well. Plus he mixes the order and sells them very well. The headliner was a party style comic. He was reading off his phone a bunch, to which one girl yelled, "I like comedy that flows, not someone reading off their phone." They came with a group of 10 and were somewhat a pain all night. They barely laughed so not sure why they chose to attend a comedy show. He was very nice, but I heard when he got in his car that this was the worst audience that he can remember.

Had some shows, made some money

A lot of shows have been going on but it's all been a blur. Life stuff have been happening and I've been putting a lot of focus into that. Still battling the demons with alcohol and going back and forth if I want to rekindle things with the ex. I spoke with her a little bit the past few days. I guess she was sick. I'm not sure if she actually misses me or just needs someone to fill her time. I do honestly want to give it one more shot if I do it completely sober. I think it will be good for me to test myself to see if I actually could not drink. Plus I could know for sure we are not right for one another. I'm trying, but I'm not pushing the issue. I'm also talking to a couple other girls and actually been hanging with one. Things have been getting somewhat serious. It's with the Vegas girl that I've always felt like I had some kind of connection with. Problem is she smokes, and has put on a few pounds. And I'm going back and forth if this is someone I could openly date. I do like her, and she likes me. And that should be enough. But, there's also the idea that I think our lives would spiral down an unhealthy alcoholic path. She is very much like me. She finds me funny, like really funny. That is great. We have great conversations. I don't know what I'll do in the end. I know if I get back with the ex it will kill any chance with the new girl. Also, if I pursue the new girl that will end things with the ex. I think I'd have a better, more successful future with the ex. But in the present, I know the better decision would be to focus and allow myself to like the new girl. Who knows. I do want to clean up the drinking, and know with the new girl that may never happen. Comedy's been a roller coaster. Been getting frustrated with some people at the Comedy Store, and watching unfunny people get big laughs from the audience. I've been having some good sets. I did 15 minutes at the Store Thursday. I did about 13 and couldn't think where I wanted to go next. i had plan to do a new set but the crowd was so rowdy I chose to just do my set. It went well and I had some fun interactions with the crowd. Friday at Winston's I told a few stories about one night stands and when I thought I was gonna overdose on weed. Had a guy come up to me after to say I was funny which is always nice. Were kicking off a new contest this Wednesday. This will be the 8th one. Well be moving to Thursdays starting in December. I think this may help. We had hoped the Street Fair would help draw in more people but sadly that was only the case one or two weeks. I think Winston's could do a better job promoting the show, but what can you do. We have the finals of the next one this Friday. I'm expecting it to be busy. It's great cause the prize money is already taken care of, so I should get a majority of the door. Had a pretty profitable week and I'm hoping that will continue for the rest of the year. None of the Store people got to technically open the last few weeks. Last week there was a gaggle of young, in my mind horrible comics. It was painful to watch. I'm getting frustrated that maybe this dream may never happen. The comic last night had a great stage presence. His jokes weren't amazing, but he definitely sold them like they were. He repeated the premise by yelling which I thought was interesting. He hung out, and took pictures after which I thought was cool. I'm getting so tired of how they treat the door guys. Like were pee ons, deserving of nothing. Even the door guy that serves once in awhile gets treated much better. I don't know if they just look down at us just because we want to do comedy or what it is. Very frustrating. Tuesday I headlined the open mic at ACC. The owner who normally talks to me didn't say a word. He''s likely pissed I haven't hit him up for weekend spots. He is a shady dude and cancelled a show just because people only brought 24 humans. Just bad business. I've been doing a little day drinking this week, so I had one beer before I went on stage and felt a little tipsy. I was just messing around on stage and felt I was funny enough.

Spending time at the Store

Saturday I worked at the Store. They brought their own opener so none of us got to go up. I thought the first guy was pretty funny, kinda awkward but found him funny enough. The 2nd and 3rd comics were unwatchable. The girl recently headliner at the Comedy Palace, and the dude regularly opens for Jeff Garlin. They are terrible, and the worst comics I've seen in that spot to date. People were wondering how long he was doing. His stage presence is almost unwatchable. Both their material was beyond moronic and hacky. I couldn't bare to watch it was so terrible. It was a moment in time where I really thought about quitting, not only the Store, but comedy in general. I don't know if my style will ever work. It's very frustrating, and almost depressing. The headliner was from workaholics. He did a great job knowing how to teeter the inappropriate line, but not going too far. He is also mixed race, and discusses it, but never actually says what he is. I found that a very cool trick to keep the audience on edge. I thought he was my second favorite headliner so far. Sunday at the Store was pretty slow. I went up early as usual. There was a group that wanted to sit in the front, so people could talk to them. I opened my set by chatting with them a bit. It was good and bad. I did ten minutes and it was a roller coaster. I enjoyed it. Monday was the open mic. As always my favorite show of the week. I did more jokes than I normally do, but still chatted with the crowd a bit. I had a guy ask to take a picture with me. That's never happened before other than family. He was there on his birthday which is very weird to me.

Maine, NYC, and back again

So, I've returned home safely from my cross country trip. I have to say it was a good time. I failed at taking a break from drinking. I took one night off and literally was up all night. I in turn headed into NYC for about 8 hours, including seeing the Letterman taping and walking all over Manhattan and Central Park. I overheard a convo from a guy trying to hit on the girl. I couldn't help but laugh. She heard me and chatted in up with me. She was a dance instructor and a member of the ROCK Church over there. It was uplifting that their are pretty, intelligent women out there. I have been doing well with avoiding contact with the ex. I'm sure we'll eventually speak again, but I really have no remorse about leaving her. I wrote letters to the 3 essential women in my life. I really had very few nice things to say about her. I don't know what I feel this hate, but I really have so many negative memories about her. I think I will move past her rather quickly, I hope anyways. I did miss her when I was spending time with family and they were asking about her. But she made it pretty clear that she's already been on multiple dates, including having sex on the first date. This is the same thing Kathy did. I refuse to let myself fall down that kind of path again. I don't know why women can move past me so quickly. It is what it is. I am far from perfect, but I am a good, caring soul. I'll find someone who accepts me for me, and I will be happy. As far as the trip. The Comedy Connection is closed, which appears to be for good. I decided to check out the open mic we showcased at a few years back. It was very poorly run. I approached the guy asking how much time we got or where there was a light. He basically said no light, and 6-8 minutes. I watched as the host sang songs and did 3 minutes between comics. Comics who by the way were doing at least 10 minutes. They were telling random girlfriend jokes. And other rather hacky jokes. When I went up there and tried my bits it just didn't go well. First off the host told the last few comics they basically would have negative time. I got a few chuckles, but was by far not a good set. I walked out the door, licked my wounds, and moved on. It was a case of they were all friends and I was an outsider and didn't have a chance. I could have taken a different approach as it was as open mic but oh well. Next time. Tuesday I did a show in New York at the Creek and Cave. I got lost at first but made it. Had to go to the bathroom, but could not find a public restroom to save my life. Finally went in the basement of this place and lit it up. It was gross. Anyways when I walked in before 8 there looked to be a good crowd. There was a 6,8 and 930 show at this place. Come to find out the 6 show was just an open mic and all the people in the crowd were comics. They filed out rather quickly. There was about 15 people, including comics when I went up. Some jokes did ok. Wasn't a killer set but I was happy with it. The hosts went up together which I thought was a cool thing. That worked well off each other like Jesse and I. Wednesday I did a show in Greenwich Village near the Comedy Cellar. I got lost once again and headed the opposite was even though I was 3 minutes from the place. I had my friend look up directions and I made it. Was a little panicked cause I was suppose to be there by 930, and arrived closer to 935. The dude that put me on seemed to not care about being late. They were suppose to start at 8 but started closer to ten. When I went in there was 7 people in the audience, 3 Americans, 2 people from Holland, and 2 ladies from Venezuela. One girl popped in and left, then 2 girls came in, and left. They have guys outside called "Barkers" that try to convince people to come into the show. I saw them strike out for the most part. I believe they have fun doing it. My set was fun. Jokes didn't work at all, but I had fun doing crowd work. It was tough because basically all of the comics did crowd work. I realized more than ever that I need more relate-able jokes. I wrote 15 pages since I saw gone. Mostly stories about my life, and all the one night stands I've had. Also, I expanded the speed dating joke. I am going to try them next week at the Store. Need to read them over, but I feel confident they will get laughs. Tonight was Winston's. It was nice to return to that stage. I had fun doing the show. There was a decent crowd, not big laughers, but they did enjoy some people. For my set I rambled off a bunch of 80's movies and sitcoms, and made up how I masturbate to them. It got some laughs. I don't know if it would work in a club. I think if they were splattered in a set it would work best. Joke, do one, joke again.

Lotta shows and depression

Well I've been going through a break up with the ex. It was my decision and while I do think it's the right decision for both our futures. It does suck a lot right now. My days are very boring. I just stay in bed, sulk, and try to fight off the urge of drinking. I saw her on Saturday and she looked great. We talked. I thought then it could work, but even then she wasn't asking anything about me, and just ignored what I said. I pretty sure she's also already been intimate with another dude. I think she was just screwing with my head. I had a vivid dream last night that I walked in on her with another guy. I jumped out of bed and contemplating started to drink. I decided to go see her. She let me in, but it was not like Saturday. When I saw her, I smiled, she just said "what?" I asked her about the guy to which she laughed and refused to answer it. We went back and forth for about 15 minutes, and I ended up just leaving. I can soberly not be the first to contact her anymore. She is over me, and I need to strength myself. Drinking is always a problem. I did take a day off and am going to focus on getting away from hard stuff. That is my goal. I head home tomorrow so I want to show the best Jeff I can. As far as shows. Sunday, I believe I followed a dude that does a lot of asian jokes, and I apologized to the person in the front row. The set was then a mixture of crowd work and jokes. I know I did the break up joke and like what has happened before some gal yelled maybe she'll take you back. It was a funish set. Monday was the Store open mic. The crowd was pretty dead as always, and I intended to try a bunch of jokes, but ended up talking with one guy in the front. I had no direction, I opened with how are you, to which a guy that went up earlier, yelled yes from the back. I ended up talking to him for most of my set. I somewhat fell like I'm wasting my and the clubs time when I do that, but no one has told me not to. Tuesday was the Palace competition. I had a somewhat difficult round. 3 people that are funny and have done it longer than me, plus a bringer. It was kinda sketchy as the show was suppose to start at 8, but started at 820. The problem is that most of the bringers people came after 8, and if the show started on time they wouldn't be able to vote. Kinda lame. But I pretty much phoned my set in and didn't advance. I really wasn't that affected. Obviously, I want to advance, but I'm not going to win the thing, and that's all that matters. Next was Til Two. When I arrived there was a good crowd. I've had a tough time the last few times I was there so I was excited. I was the headliner and went up last. I was suppose to do twenty minutes but I saw what I thought was the light but ended up just being a camera flash. I was kinda bummed as I chatted with a comic earlier about doing longer sets. I ended up only doing 13. I did well, but for some reason I just can't catch as break. Wednesday was Winston's then Beachwood. Winston's was pretty dead. Sadly our run of having people come in early has ended. Were talking about moving the contest back to Mondays for the next one but that's a lot of competition. There's already 2 open mics that night on top of the Madhouse contest. I'll get comics, but doubt I can get some that draw, considering the Madhouse contest has such better prizes. Maybe Thursday would be better. I will try to get that date. Beachwood was surprisingly more fun that I had expected. I was on the drink tab so that's always good. Sadly I drank way too much to be driving home. That's really depressing. I am in no way proud of that. My set was fun. Jokes and crowd work were used. I actually accidentally got a table kicked out. That was kind of awkward as the bouncer went over and told them to leave as I'm struggling to make it through. It was kinda funny I went up before a comic I'm far better than but oh well. I get no respect around this town. People said they enjoyed my set. Thursday was the Store and I honestly can't remember how that set went. Friday was Winston's. There was a good amount of people but they did not want to laugh. They were there for the two features. One Mexican and the other PB white boy. The Mexican posted the next day of facebook how the show wasn't what he expected and needed a break. My set was just horrible. I was more sober than I usually am. But I couldn't have felt more miserable on stage. I want to get off right away but I struggled through and that's a skill in itself. A few people did well by just talking to the crowd, but that's all that worked. Saturday was the Store. I got to open the first show to a sold out crowd of 199. It was the most talented line up since I've been working there. All 3 are touring comedians. Steve Simeone, Steve Rannazzisi, and Ari Shaffir. My set went somewhat ok. I expected more from a huge crowd. Some lady said she enjoyed my set. I don't think the guys did as well as I thought they would. If a crowd of 200 can be tough, they were. I closed the show out well which is something I've been working on. Sunday I did a country club in Carlsbad. I made a little money and got some food. I was offered free drinks but the last time I saw the guy I got so wasted I passed out and pissed on his futon. His wife brought it up the first thing. It was really embarrassing and I didn't feel comfortable drinking out front of them. I sat outside and nearly was in tears thinking about my struggle with alcohol. It also brought me back to the show I did at his house was the first time Lindsey and I broke up. Sunday I thought we had a chance to rekindle it, but it's just not meant to be. My set was ok. Started off well, but kind of lost them as I went on. They were a bunch of rich white people. I'm not really great in that environment. I was struggling to think what joke I wanted to do next. Monday was back to the Store open mic. That day I wrote a bunch "do you ever masturbate" insert random show or movie. Some did well, some not so much. After that I tried to remember the redneck and crackas jokes but couldn't for the life of me. I had fun with the set, and think I can filter in those masturbate jokes into another set. Tuesday was Lestat's. I thought I'd get 15 minutes, then I saw I was the feature and thought maybe I'd get 20-30. I text the dude and he says 10-12. Ok then. I don't really mind but goes back to getting some respect. The headliner was running late so I got to do 15 minutes. I was thinking after what jokes I would have went into next. I think at my Comedy Store show I am going to do 25 minutes. It would be a good challenge and I think I can. My set started off strong and trailed off a little bit as I continued. I wasn't happy with the ending but oh well.

Lot of work and some comedy

Sunday was the Store. My set was ok. Wrote like 4 new jokes, and tried 3 of them. One worked, one started ok, the 3rd didn't get much a response. I sprinkled in some old stuff, and closed with some crowd work to end decent. Monday was back at the Store for the open mic. I tried a bunch of jokes, most of them did decent. I worked with the crowd a little bit, and basically just made fun of the night. Tuesday I worked at the Store and did not perform. One of the workers opened the show and did the worse on the show, which is crazy because most of the others were new to comedy. One comic asked if he could film, I said no, he asked why I just said it's policy. When he got on stage I could see his gf sitting weird. I had a feeling she was filming. I went behind her, and sure enough she was. I told her to stop. I don't really care, I just don't like shady people. Wednesday was Winston's. The contest was ok. There were a few people in the audience, and with the new window installed, it adds a different dynamic. People can watch/ heckle from outside. The voting was close. One of the comics stayed until the end, but left right before I brought the comics back on stage. This was a pretty stupid move, as people rarely can remember people's names. He ended up getting 5th place and not advancing. After Winston's I did a set at the Whistle Stop. It was pretty awkward. I followed a sketch. I started off pretty bad, I battled and ended ok but didn't feel good about it. A few of the comics said I did well, but they were just being nice. The comics after me messed around on stage a lot and that seemed to work out much better. One of the bookers told me how the other comics that had opened in month's past had a tough time as well. I talked to the other booker about maybe putting one comic on before the first comic, to ease the crowd into stand up. He pretty much said they do the show for the sketches and don't really care about comedy. They book comics from L.A. to try to make contacts for shows up there. I guess if there's one way to do it, you might as well put on a show you enjoy in exchange for stage time. Thursday was the Store. I went up pretty late into the night and basically did all crowd work. Added a few jokes, but for the most part I talked to a table in the front and made fun of one of the comics that brought most of the people. The crowd was very small. Friday was back at Winston's. There was a decent amount of people in the crowd. I didn't do a set as the comic before me talked about all the lesbians there, as well as eating butt and scissoring. I was too uncomfortable to do jokes. Saturday was back at the Store. First show was somewhat packed. All the comics did really well. Second show was small, about 40 people. Still all the comics did well. The last comic said she was only 30 which I wanted to believe was a lie as she's already headlining but I read an article that she was on about 30 comics to watch under 30. I have to keep plugging away. Talking to one of the comics that lives in L.A. he kept stressing how a move would make so much sense, don't wait. He was saying L.A. is bad for comedy but good if you want to do T.V. and whatnot. I realized San Diego is actually better for stand up than L.A. I really only want to do comedy unless I get a Seinfeld like show where I was head writer or the main star. I don't want to do bit parts here and there. I think a move to L.A. in like April 2014 would be pretty smart. I'd been doing comedy 5 years, and I would be comfortable in all environments, plus Bob will have some establishment there.

Made a few bucks

Still bummed and confused about what happened Monday. Could have really used the $1000 or at least $200 to get a new laptop and the much needed blood tests. I need to get back on track and retake my life. I don't want to struggle my entire life battling with alcoholism. It scares me a little bit. I go back and forth whether I could quit if needed. I believe I could, I simply don't want to. I imagine that's what all alcoholics think. I'm definitely a functioning alcoholic, but drinking every night can't be healthy to say the least. Wednesday was very busy at Winston's. Everyone did well and that was exciting. There was, going back to the open mic, 4 straight women that performed. Not against female comics at all, but I normally space them out as there just isn't a lot of them. The 3 female comics and one gay comic advanced. They just installed a new window that I think has been drawing in a few more random people. After that I went to Bar 11. I was a little drunk and had a hard time on stage. I got some laughs, but struggled and did the worst on the show. Thursday was the Comedy Store. I went up in a prime spot. The manager gave me a little extra time. I was going to mess around but I wanted to keep the show going esp. as I was doing 10 minutes. I'm getting somewhat tired of my jokes. I've been trying to write more, getting tired of my jokes. The weekend headliner popped in. I felt I held my own against him. Friday was Winston's. There was already people there when I arrived. It was a good crowd throughout the night. Some people struggled, but overall if the comic was funny, the crowd laughed. Made a few bucks, which is nice. Saturday was working at the Store. The headliners were old school. Have there sets they've been doing for 15 years and don't mix it up. Just long, hacky stories. The first crowd was the best I've seen in there since I started working there. A girl I used to date showed up with her new fiance. I'm fine with it, although I miss the sex. She was so intense, it was nuts. I had hoped to go up, but one of the headliners brought a friend who opened both shows. She was meh. She even did well the first show. They invited us to perform on their Belly Room shows any Monday we wanted. I have to make it up there at some point.