Hello life downswing, it's been awhile....

First I'll chat about the last few shows I was apart of. Winston's Friday was subpar. I had a feature scheduled that was suppose to help promote. She backed out last minute. The other dude I had connected to the show didn't do a great job bringing people, plus the people he brought were drunk and not real receptive. I decided to not even go up. I worked on about 8 newish minutes. I had prepared two completely 2 jokes plus some jokes I rarely do. I figured this wasn't a good night to try it out.
My weekend was actually pretty fun. After the show Friday I went over and hung out with one of my comedy buds. I got a little too drunk. We woke up early and went to the casino and played a tournament. There was about 120 people in it. I got down to the final 20 or so and had a huge hand. I got all in with by far the best hand, and ended up losing. I was ready to leave, but my bud wanted to stay. I played another small tourney and got kinda of coolered. I had ten's and the other guy ended up having aces, yup awesome. I ended up borrowing a few bucks and playing at my buddies table. We were playing much lower limits then I'm used to, but it was really fun just playing and hanging out with him. We messed with a lot of people's minds and that's always a good time. We ended up going out again that night and it was a good time.
Sunday I did nothing, but I did have a show later in the evening. I was hosting plus I was doing a set. There was 75 plus people in the crowd so I was excited to try out the new jokes. I wanted to go up somewhat early as I wasn't real comfortable with it. Well I get up there and the crowd basically hates me. I try a few jokes, they miss. I sit down and tell the home depot joke and bring them back a little bit. I tried a few of the new jokes and they miss completely. A fellow comic came up to me after and said he enjoyed one of the new jokes so I have to appreciate that. I should really start doing more crowd work. I think I am a funny person, but I've come to realize maybe I can't write funny set up/ punch line jokes. Anyways after my set I still had to host, meaning go on stage after a room full of people hated me. Kind of demoralizing. Also there were a couple people there that had never seen me. They said they were coming but I didn't see them. They came up to me after. I'm slightly embarassed how bad I did.
Well as far as the title of the post. Things are looking grim. Two weeks ago I was at the top of the world. I was winning a bunch of money, and thinking "Well maybe my degree isn't getting me anywhere but the knowledge I have with poker can support my lifestyle." Fast forward to the shit. I lost again tonight. I remember now why I hated playing poker. The people are awful, and when they constantly get lucky against me and act like they know what theyre doing really pisses me off. I lost 5 times tonight in 2 hours with a few of the top few starting hands in poker. I realize I'm going to lose sometimes, but every night it happens. I can't play at this place anymore. Like I spoke about before I'm not real supersticious. But there's a dude I've been playing with that since I met him I can't win. He was there again tonight, and of course I lost another 350$.

Crazy to think how happy I was two weeks ago. I couldn't lose, I had women interested in me, I was ready to take a break from my job. How quickly things change. I lost all 4 women that had any interest in me, I've lost 1400$, I broke my glasses and am now wearing them even though half the left lens is covered in super glue, and even if I wanted to crawl back to my low wage job I can only work 28 hours a week. Oh and to top the shittyness off I have a nasty cold sore. I used to get them when I was younger every year around picture time. No idea why I got one now. But as life seems to happen to me, when the shit hits the fan it always seems to be diarrhea style. I was so close to be actually happy a month ago, now I'm at the bottom once again.