Tough week

Well Tuesday night into Wednesday was pretty much the hardest day I can recall. We had to put one of our cats down. I have a wide array of emotions. First off anger. The cat always had problems but she managed to snap out of it after a day or two. We thought we finally figured it out. We stopped giving her wet food, and she seemed to be doing fine. My gf decided to give her wet food, to which I gave her more later in the night. She ate a lot. She was not looking good the next day, so the gf made an appt. with a specialist. I disagreed, I wanted to keep up with just leaving her off dry food. Anyways, she's the expert. So, we take her in, and drop her off fine. Gf picks her up and the cat is awful. When we dropped her off the receptionist asked if she was a cat. Strike 2 for wanting to leave. Anyways, we didn't hear from the vet for 10 hours. When she was picked up she was covered in urine and had seizures. That never happened to her. I was at work, so I was not able to see her at that time. When I got home in the a.m she was in bad shape. Twitching and struggling to breath. I just laid with her, and it was really difficult. After a few hours, we took her back into another vet. They gave her more drugs, but nothing seemed to help, it was too late. We ended up taking her back to the original vet and they put her down. It was the most I've cried, and felt crushed in a long, long time. I'm still suppressing my feelings, but I must go on. I saw a lot of myself in her, and it was very troubling to lose her. Wednesday, I bailed on Winston's. I also had a spot at the Store, but of course passed on that as well. I told my roommate who was working there I wasn't going. And because he's such a lazy moron, he never told anyone. Thursday was a day of drinking. We went to OB, had some appetizers and drinks. We then went to the Store. I had an early spot. When I got there, the door guy asked why I no called, no showed the night before. I said my roommate is an idiot. I told him about the cat, and he laughed. Pretty pathetic. I also told the other "manager" I apologized I didn't make it. He said I should have called earlier, so he could make adjustments to the schedule. Really? You can't give a couple people more time you goofball. He's just such a 2 faced douche. Anyways, my set went decent. We then went to a few bars, and grabbed some sushi. It was a good day of healing. Friday I went to Winston's. It was somewhat busy. But the crowd got there early, and started to get chatty towards the end. I think my set was somewhat ok. I brought back a joke I had scrapped because it didn't go well once or twice. Well it was likely the best joke I did that night. I also tried a new joke that got an ok response. After the show, a bunch of the comics hung out a South Beach. After that Billy and I went out in PB. It was a fun time. Got recognized at one of the bars. Always a cool thing. We bar hopped at a few places. Had a beer, people watched, talked about jokes, and headed back home. Saturday was the Store and Pauly Shore. Wow, wow, wow, if there's ever a day to make me question whether I should be doing comedy, this would be it. His dad went up before him. I was surprised how many people actually knew who he was. He got a somewhat standing ovation after the first show. He did have some ok jokes about being old, and how pathetic Pauly was. The second show he got very preachy and it was getting awkward. The crowd was staying quiet, but for a weekend comedy show it was far from funny. Pauly was almost sad to watch. He had a bunch of hacky political jokes and how people still approach him, nearly 20 years after he's peaked. He ended with 3 shows, a rap, a country song, and a party song. The crowd ate it up but it was very deflating. I also asked to forgo my shift beer to get a rockstar. To which it was made a big deal and they settled on giving me a small rockstar. Gee thanks. It's so pathetic how much the club and waitresses are making, and how little they care for comics. It is called "The Comedy Store," not the "Waitress Store." Granted they do work hard, but honestly making 4 to 5 times as much as us i just silly. Plus the waitresses are constantly taking shots, and they limit us to one beer. Even if I go on an off night I pay the same price as any other comic. It's pathetic with comedy that once you have/ are making money, people give you everything you want for free. But, while were struggling, we're treated like worthless scum. Last night was definitely a night that made me dread working there.

Minding the Store

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Winston's, Store, Podcasts

Wednesday was Winston's. It was slightly slower than usual, and 2 of the comics were late, and one didn't show up until the show was over. Thursday was the Comedy Store. I went up kinda late after an LA pop in basically took a shit on stage for 12 minutes. I had somewhat of an awkward start, called someone out for being a bad tipper, to which he got completely embarrassed. I then had to struggle with some hecklers, but I think I made it out ok. One of my gf's friends said they saw me and said I killed it. Who knows if he was just being nice, but he didn't have to say anything. Friday during the day I did a podcast with my gf. We went into the hardships of our relationship and being an artist and managing a relationship. I said some nice, honest things and she pretty much complained about me. I was asked what my 5 year plan was, to which I don't really have one. I don't think in this field it's smart to make hard goals. Comedy takes time, and I'm content where I'm at. We got into my alcoholism. It was pretty uncomfortable. But it obviously needs to be addressed. I don't know if it's mind over matter, but my liver has been feeling swollen and uncomfortable. I should get checked out, but I just don't want to hear the verdict. I'm going to really make a conscious effort to only drink 2 days a week. Friday night was Winston's. We started really late. I guess I need to be there right at 6, in order to make sure the show actually starts. Sometimes those guys are too lax. Someone joked about me not having a problem being too nice. It's tough when we have time restraints. I chose to not do a set. It was half being a pussy and half because we were over time. Saturday I worked the show at the Store. The headliner was Chris Porter. It's pretty neat because I watched him on last comic standing when I had aspirations of being a comic and now I'm closing out the show and shaking his hand. Things are coming full circle. He was pretty funny, and had an original take on a lot of subjects. He came kinda angry, but I liked it. The feature was there a few weeks back and is also witty. The opener was awkwardly not good. It was uncomfortable to watch. I just don't get how she has been passed at the LA Store. She just talked a bout being a skank. But she looks so young, it made everyone uneasy.

New spots

Sunday I did the Comedy Palace. I assumed I was going to get more time than I get at the Store. I was hoping 15 to 20, it ended up being only 10. Oh well. The crowd actually seemed pretty supportive. Which was surprising because the Palace normally blows. Plus the comics on the show weren't used to doing promoted, non open mic shows. They were very risky and edgy. Not that I work clean but I don't take the easy way out. I told one of the comics who didn't get a response by saying, "I don't think Mexicans are real." He didn't know why it didn't get a response and also didn't think it was racist. I tried to let him know that he has to have a separate set of jokes for promoted shows and open mics. Open mics are made for more edgy, shocking material. Don't get me wrong, most crowds are stupid and like sex jokes. But, the key is to know where to draw the line. I ripped on the comics when I opened saying there was a lot of women hating material, and did my joke about hating hand jobs. One of the comics mentioned I did this joke. I came back with, this isn't a women hating joke. No one likes hand jobs. It's boring. The guy I followed ended basically by saying a Mexican with a mustache was gay, and then went into asking if he was a landscaper. To which the guy retorted, "Are you a faggot?" Nice to have to go up after that. My set was pretty solid. I was happy with it. Not everything hit, but I can't complain overall. Monday I tried to get a spot at Lestat's but my name was drawn pretty close to last. Tuesday I worked at the Store. It was a bringer show, so I didn't get to go up. The show started a half hour late because there was no one there at 8. They almost cancelled the show. They would have if there wasn't 10 people by 8. There was 8, but 2 showed up right at 8. There ended up being a decent crowd, 40 or so. The host opened by doing 20 plus minutes. Made some lame excuse saying, "I've been waiting for the light." To which I ran and turned it on. The security head told me I shouldn't have done that because there's no sense giving him that satisfaction when he never asked for a light. It makes sense. There is a headliner that is all there shows and is just god awful. He does have smarter material than one of the comics that yelled about teeth and ran the light by 4 minutes. Overall though he is the worst, and the fact he's the headliner is just pathetic.

Winston's and whatnot

Wednesday was Winston's. It was pretty busy which was nice. It was a mixture of free tickets and comics bringing people. They were a good crowd overall too. We were running over, so I didn't do a set. Everyone did pretty well, except the last dude. We were having a drink after and I pretty much told him he was approaching comedy the wrong way. He insults the crowd, and basically talks down to them. Doubt he'll make any adjustments, because he approaches comedy like he's too cool for it all." Thursday I opened the show at the Comedy Store. It was a struggle. I started off ok, then took a little bit of a dive. I said a few jokes that got no laughs at all. I can't remember telling a joke with that many people and getting zero reaction. I got slightly flustered and even began sweating. I pulled myself out of it, and ended somewhat ok. I immediately left and headed over to the American Comedy Company. I had the possibility to get up. Ended up I was about 5 minutes late, and missed my spot. Oh well. Still haven't gone up there yet, but I'm not too concerned. Friday was Winston's. Pretty decent crowd turn out. The show was going well, a few people had a rough time. I had somewhat a feeling I took it too far with the weird intro's, and may have screwed someone over. After that I moved into a more serious intro role. I think it was a fun show. My set was a roller coaster. Started off slow, had a nice middle, and couldn't get a strong ending. I was happy with it for the most part. Still working the struggle. Saturday I worked the Store show. It was a different show, as it was called the Rock N Roll show. The host looked like he was 14, and was very timid. He seemed nice enough, but is definitely not a host. He did have some decent jokes, but his delivery was very dry. Next up was a dude I started with. He lives in L.A. now. I spoke to him, and he seems grounded. He did pretty well. I think he is somewhat finding his voice on stage again. The next guy was the show booker. He was pretty brash, but the crowd seemed to like him. The headliner was pretty strong. He had a very easy going delivery and just seemed like he was talking. The first show I had a feeling he was going to get a standing ovation. His closing bit has a huge build up. A few people did stand, but I felt the aura of the room was a big standing ovation. I really felt like he was on cocaine. I told my roommate I thought this, and after the show he concurred. I told the security guy I felt the same, and he said yes for sure. I am currently listening to a podcast where he says he never did drugs. The podcast was done awhile ago, but who knows. The second show he ran the light by 40 minutes. He did 85 frigin minutes. So crazy to where you want to run the light by that much. It makes me question if I really want/ am destined to be a comedian. Even when I'm doing 8 minutes, I feel like I'm always looking for the light. I mentioned before the only time I can remember wanting to do more was the finals of the contest. Sometimes at Winston's I want to do more just to end strong, but that is different.

Couple nights at the Store

Sunday I went up 2nd again at the Store. The first comic started off strong then fizzled out. I ripped on him a little bit throughout my set. My set was decent. Had some ups, and ended somewhat ok. The comic texted me later apologizing for the way he ended. I let him know that it was no problem at all. It's good for comics to stay humble, but it is important to have some sort of self assurance. I feel bad that other comics so readily insult my roommate and his comedy. They were ripping on him and the "manager" actually said, "how does that feel?" What does he expect me to say? I just wanted to make sure his job wasn't in jeopardy, which I found out it was not. I do think he does have a false sense of the reactions he is getting on stage. Out of curiosity I asked him if people had bad things to say about me, to which he responded, "I honestly can't say anyone has said bad things about you." Monday was the Store open mic. It was slower than usual. The manager actually cut the show short because the crowd wasn't drinking. When I went up there was 5 audience members. I chatted with the couple in the front row, which I found out he was a radio dj in the SD area. I zinged him a little bit, but all in good fun. I chatted with him after the show, and he seemed to enjoy what I said. Him and another comic that night said I was a natural. Cool to hear. Tuesday was a bringish show. The headliner was an LA dude. He ran the light by 20 plus minutes. I asked the "manager" at what level do you have to be where you can run the light by that much. Without breaking stride, "He said once you have comedy central credits, when you're on showtime, when you're a weekend headliner." I still don't get it, but oh well. Most of the comics on the show were pretty sub par, esp considering there was 120 people for a Tuesday show.

I AM PATHETIC

Wow, I'm such a piece of shit. I need to stop drinking, I;m just pathetic. I hate myself more and more everyday. Wednesday was Winston's and then I did a bar show downtown. Winston's was pretty busy. One girl brought a good amount of people. The open mic ran long so I didn't do any time. The booker at the Comedy Store in L.A. was at the Store so one of the guys that was supposed to do the show downtown backed out to do the store. I took his spot downtown. It was a fun show. I basically just talked to the crowd and slipped in some jokes here and again. They gave us a $20 food comp. which I blew through on a round of drinks. I drank too much and had to drive home. Which I did because I'm a piece of shit loser. God I hate myself. Thursday was the Store. It was a small, tight crowd. I spent the first two minutes ripping on the comic that went on before me. My actual jokes didn't really hit, but it was a tough night throughout. Friday was Winston's. It was one of the better, respectful crowds we've had in awhile. Some guys didn't take advantage of it, and just ripped on the audience saying they were old. I have no idea why they would insult a paying, laughing audience. I told the comic before me, "you can do jokes." Which he did and did really well. I was slightly unsure if I could follow him. I did well, most jokes hit. I was told after by a couple people that I did even better than the comic that went before me. That felt pretty cool. Saturday I did a house party. It was an adult shindig, and I got way too drunk. It was crazy because I was feeling fine, and all of a sudden I can't remember anything. I'm worried I made an ass of myself. I really need to stop drinking. I am pathetic. I'm such a piece of shit loser. I'm disappointed with myself on a daily basis. I have no idea why I do this to myself. I spent my set ripping on the guys who's birthday it was and making fun of his house. After someone told me they saw Louie Anderson and Jerry Seinfeld back in the early 80's and that he didn't enjoy them. He said I have a special look, and am funny. That was cool.