Shows and a Vegas crapola

Friday at Winston's was pretty packed. I was somewhat uninterested in going up. But I decided Jesse and I would write each others sets. The set I gave him went really well. As far as what he gave me, the first joke fell pretty flat. The next show was going a downward spiral as well, and I broke into a complaining rant that went much better. I did a few other jokes, including an all new joke which got a great response, hooray.

Saturday at the Store was a female headliner. She was ok. Typically L.A. headliner, nothing special. Her opening act was a very tiny gal, and was pretty low energy, with some semi perverted jokes. The feature was likely the most talented, which seems to be the case at a lot of these weekend shows. He was kinda hacky, but had good timing and stage presence. Crowds seem to love not having to think.

Sunday I was off to Vegas. Looking forward to drinking and poker. The first night I checked out a comedy show. It was at a hookah bar. The host, "Funny Bone," (yes that's his real name) was quite stoned. And in typical black host fashion, not a racist judgement, it's normally true, he talked about being stoned and rambled for about 5 minutes between comics. They had a decent crowd, 25 or so, many of which comics, but they were attentive and laughed when something was funny. When I arrived I talked to the owner, who told me to speak to Funny Bone. I did, and he put my name down on what appeared to be an old receipt he took out of this pocket with other names scribbled down. He said he'd put me up at some point. I wasn't in a huge rush so I figured I'd be polite and let the host bring me up when he could. So I'm watching typical dreadful open mic comics talking about sex and drugs. Then I see a seat open up on the couch in the back and figured that would be more comfortable than standing. As I sat down, a large, what I assumed to be black transvestite (whether "she" was a man or woman I'll never know) named Tab Lloyd told me to come closer. Trying to be nice and not come off like a prick I slid closer. She then said, "I've never had a white boy sit so close before," "Hmmm so flattered to be the first." Great. Then she tries to run her fingers through my hair and touch my knee through the hole in my jeans. Very gross and uncomfortable I stare and listen to the comedian deeper than I've ever listened before. Finally after I see another comedian pop in, Funny Bone approaches the mic, and says, "Ok that's our show. If I didn't get you up, I'll put you up next week. Have a good night." I ask him what happened, he said, "Well you never came back up, figured you left." The room was not that big or dark, I'm 100 percent sure he could see me. I don't know if he was just a complete more, or just was a dick. Either way, I said ok, and left. As I'm leaving the owner goes, "I thought you were going up?" I said, "I did, too," and walked out the door. I hear him call for someone to get me, but I kept my head down and walked to my car with no intention of going back. Who in their right mind would perform after the host closed the show and the audience was leaving. I already had the pressure of being the outsider, but now I'm suppose to be funny enough to bring people back into a show. No thanks. As I'm driving, I see a moped basically pull up beside me, flailing his arms. It didn't register at first but he was attempting to get me to come back. Are you freaking serious? Is stage time really that vital in Vegas? No thanks. Got a great story out of it, and didn't even have to perform.

After that I just walked around a little while, drank a few beers, ate a sandwich, and called it a night. The next morning I woke up a little groggy. Got out of bed around 230 or so and went to the gym. I also drove around awhile driving to get internet access but that was a waste of time. I then drank a little bit and headed to play some poker. The first night was really slow, won maybe 4 hands in 5 hours, and called it a night up a very small amount.

Next day I slept in a little later, had a drink or two and walked around the strip. I then had a buffet and went down for a nap, I woke up, went to the gym, and was ready to play some more poker. This night I didn't fare so well. I won maybe 3 hands in 2 hours, and then lost a big hand when I made a bad read against a douchey player with my 99 against his kk, good bye buy in. I took a break and then walked over to the Bellagio. Won very few hands that I can recall, and if I did win it was a bluff. Then had a 3 way pot when I held a king high flush draw and obviously misses and good game another buy in. I headed back to the hotel.

The next day I woke up kinda late, did the same thing, drank some beers, walked around the strip, and enjoyed a delicious buffet. Went down for a nap, went to the gym, and tested my luck at the poker tables again. This time, straight to the Bellagio. Won a biggish hand with a bluff, watched a guy throw away his money, and then got into a big hand where I flopped trips, and the guy had a flush draw. Obviously he hit his flush, and I failed to make a full house, good bye another buy in. It's crazy to think of mathematically how many times I fail to improve and go down. I need to take a break with poker, and am committed to doing so. I just lost any enjoyment of the game. It's like playing basketball and never making a shot. It's pathetic how much I've been unlucky in the past 3 months. All went back to the hand when I flopped top set and the guy hit his miracle king on the river. Things never bounced back after that. It's sad, but poker will be out of my life indefinitely.

Winston's I was back on the stage again. It's always tough coming back after a little time off. The show was pretty packed from start to finish. That made my set pretty difficult, as they were chatty. I stumbled through some brand new jokes, one about old women, that pretty much turned the crowd against me. I ended ok enough that I felt comfortable bringing up the first headliner. Both of them did pretty well with a combo of jokes and crowd work. I made a decent amount of money which is always great, esp. after losing as much as I did.

Saturday at the Store I saw, by far, the best headliner I'd see so far. His name was Owen Smith. Very talented, and I'd be surprised if he doesn't break into the scene soon. One of the feature I performed with at the Improv, and he recently had a spot on Leno. He seemed like a pretty cool guy, and had some good jokes to boot. He was slightly experimental, but had solid jokes.